


Paradox

by KisakiRose



Category: Original Work
Genre: BDSM, Damien is a sweetie, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of love for Dakota, Lots of plot makes the smut sweeter, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Sexual Submission, Not just centered around BDSM, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape Recovery, Rescue, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Very sexual submission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KisakiRose/pseuds/KisakiRose
Summary: Damien Vagner is a well respected member of a BDSM club called Zeus' Quarters. When the less than respected 'Vladimir' makes an appearance, his brutally abused submissive is taken under Damien's wing. Can Damien help Dakota heal while trying to protect him from 'Vladimir' and other less than gentle dominates?Why would someone like Dakota take on a dominate to begin with?





	1. pgs 1-31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pages 1-31 of a hand written AU of a book I technically wrote. Is that still fanfic, or a writer who can not make up her mind?
> 
> I love comments, I won't judge, but I'll answer all of 'em~<3

He wasn't well respected in the community, yet. He had written it off as if not enough people had heard his name as of yet. His submissives coward before him long after the scene was over. A lasting impression- to be sure. 

The powerful man stood with little more than camo cargo pants and a mane of red horns. Vladimir, as he called himself, had a new toy. 

The sub was a- currently- black haired, thin boy. The boy was nervous- never having done this before. But, he needed something. His past haunted his dreams. If he could re-label, reclaim, what happened all those years ago, he would finally be freed from a mind trap. 

Vladimir made lasting impressions, that was what the new sub craved.

“You’re my pain slut.” the dom spoke with a level of conviction that caused the smaller form to recoil instantly. 

“A-actually.” his voice was cut off by a sharp wip.

“Do not speak out of turn!” Vlad raged, sending a firm boot into his sub’s ribcage. “You are my painslut and you will thank me for. every. little. Bit.!” The sub’s eyes and mouth watered as he struggled to regain the air knocked from him. It was only the beginning. What had he signed himself away for?

Why did he choose the devil?

Months had past. The young sub had lost a significant amount of weight- under the orders of Vlad. Even still he was too fat. “130” blinked at him. He needed “110.” So close, yet too far. Vladimir would be angry. A cry choked off the sub’s throat. He didn’t want to go to the hospital again. Find a way to explain away his injuries, again.

He signed the extended contract. He didn’t recall when, because he was counting his days to freedom before hand. Now his scribbled signature mocked him as it sealed him with the man he believed to be Lucifer himself. Vladimir entered abruptly, enjoying the way the fear wafted from the one that became his favorite painslut. Anticipation coiled in his belly when he saw how far from his goal the sub was. 

“Looks like someone needs to be punished.”

At the first strike, the sub’s eyes blanked. He had retreated to a headspace that was safe: far from the scene this demon had planned.

 

“Are you listening to me, mutt?” Vlad’s voice fell onto deaf ears. He had loaded his ‘pet’ into a cage and brought him to a public showing.

He was at a public scene.

Panic filled his veins as he took in his surroundings. His master impatiently barked something that sounded like something between a question and a demand. 

“Yes, Sir.” the sub replied: reflexively flinching, “Thank you, Sir.” The sub became aware of how many eyes were on him.

“Sign here.” Vlad thrusted a pen into his hands. 

The sub’s mind reeled, “So this is how I got stuck?” Before reason reached him, he sank into his safe space, his body signed.

I didn’t like the look on this one sub. He was brought in a dog crate. On top of which he hadn’t formed a complete sentence in the half hour it took for him to sign the waver. I wanted to question if he even knew where he was, let alone what he had just consented to. The bartender poured me another club soda. I was a babysiter for a friend that was going to bring two subs. But, that fell through. I decided to stay for a show regardless. By the looks of the new guy- I should stay sober. Only the stupid ones got drunk anyway.

Hence- babysitter.

The only thing I could figure was that the boy must have some intense aftercare. He was thin, thin enough to have me worried. I sipped my soda.

“His dom’s the self proclaimed Vladimir, Marcus Coldon.” the young bartender nodded in the direction I didn’t realize I was staring. “They’ve been together for nine months. Marcus has other subs, but not for nearly as long.” 

I gazed at my soda’s bubbles as he spoke. After a slight silence I murmured, “Something is very wrong.”

“With that, I agree.” the muscular man frowned his worry, “You’re certified here, no?”

I snapped my attention to him, searching his face for his reasoning. 

“So what if I am?” I let my voice dip into the well practiced dom authority.

“Just sayin’, ” he waved, “You have the power to overthrow a runt like ‘Vladimir’.”

Right, a power I never had a reason to flex beforehand. “Mitch.” I stretched my joints as I stood, “This is why you get the big tips.” I winked, dropping a fifty to the bar. 

“You know it’s open bar right?” he chuckled, I had already moved through the crowd. Marcus was vice gripping various selections on his sub. A wip hung at his waist. As I circled, the words “painslut” were painted red on the sub’s raw looking back.

For a ‘painslut’ he wasn’t very reactive.

The owner of this place almost seemed relieved by the look on my face. The well dressed, fighter built man made his way to me, “Well?” He nodded toward the current showing.

“Deep subject.” I half mocked. “Is this the closing stunt?”

“Opener.” he clarified the worry in his voice.

“We need to get that boy away from him.” my dominate instincts and training kicked in. That sub should not look that bad, let alone this early.

“Know that you have house security backing you.” Ren’s eyes were firm. “Even dom’s have hospital trips.”

I barged through the line of awestruck spectators. Even they were unamused by the mistreatment. From the look on Ren’s face, many notified him.

“You’re done.” I let my voice boom.

Marcus narrowed his eyes, “Do you know who you are speaking to?” It seemed to enrage him when I did not care. 

“Your treatment of your sub is unacceptable.” I growled, “All contracts between the two of you are void until I am certain he is okay, and willing.” This caused something in Marcus to snap. He charged forward with a fist and a slur of curses. I gripped his pathetic throat and held him against the wall he had his sub tied to.

“You go near me, or anyone like this again, I will bind you, and leave you where no-one would care to find you.” I knew I was on the ledge of suffocating him, I’ve gotten good at the grip. Not a mark would be left. I threw him to the ground, that was when the house took over responsibility for Marcus. Ren needed me to snap him out of his god complex first. The boy had not moved or reacted much since I had stepped in. His eyes were blank. 

“Anyone know his name?” I called over to the secretary before turning to the strained boy, “What’s your name?” I spoke with a sense of urgency. 

“Signature has Dakota Grenwork,” Ren reported, looking over the paperwork. 

“Dakota.” I purred his name, “I’m going to remove the vices first, okay?” There were eight on him, with a fairly large collection waiting by his foot. I attempted to talk him through the pain management. The only responses I got were “Thank you, Master.” and “I’m your painslut, Master.” Rehearsed words, did he even know Marcus was no longer with him?

“Dakota, I’m going to need to cut the binds off of you.” I tried to find focus in his eyes.

“Can you feel me squeezing your hand?” I spoke carefully. His hands were limp and cool under my touch. After a pause he finally spoke, “I am your painslut, Master.” I hissed a controlled curse. Three other spectating doms came to my aid. They supported the boy’s weight while I worked on the ropes with a- slightly sharper than necessary- pocket knife. As his arms were released it was clear the circulation had been cut almost entirely. After removing the final and unnecessarily dangerous restraints, we laid the boy on the floor. Each hand had a dom massaging life back into tissue. I and the other were trying to pull him gently from his reclusive headspace.

We only earned his two lines.

Mitch caught my attention, he pointed to Dakota before waving for me to follow. I thanked the other three as I cupped the boy against my chest to trail after Mitch. The room wasn’t far, but Mitch made it a point to explain what he learned. 

“Thirty seven hospital records of new injuries in the past two months alone. Ren is having a conversation with the police as we speak.” I grit my teeth against bile, this boy was far from okay. Had I just found myself a new sub? How would someone like him fair without a dom? Why would he stay?

I paced into the beautiful room and laid Dakota in the pulled down bed. I wanted to pull him from the daze he was in. I knew pulling him abruptly would do more harm than good. He had to come out of it himself. Fuck. I tucked the fur spread around him, his chilled limbs still concerning me. I was going to drive myself sick. Perhaps… Perhaps a moment alone? I was trying to reason with myself as I took the bowl and towel by the head board and paced the few feet for warm water.

While I was filling the bowl, movement caught my attention. It looked as if Dakota was attempting to stand- his arms shaking despite the lack of progress.

“Hey, slow. Slow!” I rushed, abandoning the bowl under running water. Dakota’s eyes found me and quickly widened in terror. “I’m not here to hurt you.” I wanted to cry at the look in his gaze, “tell me what you need.” I lowered myself at the edge of the bed, afraid he would slip away again.

“I…” he played with his tongue. “I need.” My heart broke from the amount of terror in his face. 

“Dakota,” I purred carefully, “You are safe here.”

“Off my back?” his voice was meek, as if he were ready to break, cry, scream, something.

“I’m going to help.” I focused on his eyes. Tucking a hand by his side and another under his head: I rolled him to his side. The sheet could be heard separating from flesh as he moved. Dakota cried softly, trembling from what may have been a restrained sob. Bile rose to my throat again, burning with hatred. “Painslut” was not painted, his back had been carved. I returned for the overflowing bowl to calm my voice. 

“What is that?” he was scared.

“Just water.” I replied, smoothing the silk soft fabric on his wound. “Do… Do you know where you are, Dakota?” I needed to assess him. He shook his head, his eyes fidgeting.

“Did we?” he voice cut short.

“No,” I answered softly, “Only Marcus handled you tonight, the rest of us put a stop to that.” A silence followed, not that I could blame him.

“M...marcus?” I froze at his confession. Nine months. Nine months and he doesn’t know his name?!

“Vladimir’s birth name?” I could not hide my shock. “Marcus Coldon?”

“Oh.” he breathed pitifully. 

“Do you know where you are?” I tried again. His response was a frustrated cry of defeat. I dipped the towel, smoothing it over his back once again. “You’re at ‘Zeus’ Quarters’. It’s a BDSM club.” I paused to read his reaction. The poor boy was ready to dissolve into tears. “You… signed a waver to have sex with everyone in that room.” I stopped when his expression shifted to terror. I could tell his awareness was fading again. “You will not be held to it, Dakota, stay with me.” I began to urge. “I promise you are safe, no one is going to hurt you.” A knock came from the door. The boy cried in panic at the sound. As I stood, I promised him that I would make them go away. Ren gazed at me through the cracked door.

“Is it what we feared?” he kept his voice low.

“Worse. He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t even know the name of his dom!” my voice gave away my concern. “I’m having a hard time keeping him from zoning out, and his back may need a doctor.”

“Was the paint causing a reaction?” Ren tilted his head.

“It wasn’t paint. This boy has been carved.” I growled. Ren’s eyes widened. He mumbled something as he pulled out his phone.

“If you get honest consent; take pictures of every mark on that boy.” Ren nodded to me, he was calling his own office. He wished to relay everything with it fresh on his mind, and record it. I closed the door, finding Dakota watching me. I announced they were gone, returning to his side. The water I was using was a deep orange by now. 

“You may need to see a doctor about your back.” I spoke carefully. 

“I… I can't!” His voice was loud, but it shook. “Not with what it says, what would people think?!”

“They would not think badly of you,” I countered. “So what if you like pain?” His body became rigid, I froze for fear of frightening him more. 

“No.” he shook, “no more pain.” I gripped his shoulder in an attempt to ground him. “I never liked pain.” his voice was ashamed. I fit my teeth together, rage in my core. Marcus had better hope the police keep him. “Vladimir is going to be pissed!” Dakota jolted, I didn’t like his breathing. 

“You never have to see him again.” I tried to coax him from his mental ledge. 

“I live with him!” Dakota screamed. My self control snapped as I took the boy in my arms. I cradled his head in the crook of my neck, embracing him carefully.

“Listen to me.” I purred, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “All contracts you had with Coldon are void. You never need to see that demon again- even if it means you come home with me.” Dakota trembled, but did not push me away. 

“Who are you?” he stammered. 

“Damien Vagner.” I smiled, “Some call me Xatan or Die. So, whatever you choose.” I held him till his trembling stilled. Then I laid him on his side, asking him about the pain. He only admitted he was cold. “That’s normal- after any scene.” I cloaked him carefully. “Let me get you a drink.”

“What is it?” he watched me stir the mug I had returned with. 

“Hot chocolate.” I knelt by the bed, readying to help him sit up. 

“What if I get fat?” he asked sharply, I looked over his skin and bone frame. 

“Where?” I kept myself from snorting, “Did Marcus tell you that?”

“I was suppose to be one ten… but.. I’m one thirty. That must be why he brought me here.” I stopped myself from shaking as he spoke.

“The only thing.” I stopped speaking until I was sure the growl was gone from my voice. “The only thing you need is some health on you.” I fluidly sat him up and placed the warm mug in his palms. “Marcus can easily be convicted for rape and torture for what he did to you.” I spoke slowly, finding Dakota’s golden eyes fidgeting. “What he was doing was not a sub/dom relationship.” I steadied his hands so he wouldn’t burn himself. “Did he ever care for you, after he played- I mean.” He only shook his head ‘no’, tears were blurring his vision as I saw fear welling in him. “I know you just want this to be over. Look… I’ll tell the police about what you told me.” I cupped his chin so that he would look at me. “Is there family or friends that I can call? I can not let you go back to Coldon’s. I’ll go with you to get your stuff- but you can not be staying there.”

“No..” he choked. “No one’s left.” I guess that was how Coldon had his hold on Dakota for so long. I smoothed his black hairspray stiff hair, “Will you allow me to serve you as your dominate?” My voice was steady with authority. I took the half empty mug from his failing hands. I pressed his forehead to my shoulder as he screamed. “I know you’re afraid of being alone. I want to make sure you’re not.” I murred in his ear. “Dakota, let me keep you safe.” 

“A… am I your painslut?” he shook horridly. 

“No, you are Dakota Grenwork.” I hushed, easing him onto the bed. “Let me get some things in order. Try to rest- I’ll be back soon.” Reading Dakota, there was no possibility of me taking pictures. He had no trust for anyone. I needed to nurture what little he had for me. I needed to speak to the police. I needed to make a call, have a spare room ready for Dakota should he choose to come with me. I needed Dakota’s former address. I needed a car to get us there. I also wanted to write a temporary contract. One that would ease Dakota’s nerves about me.

So much to do. So little time.

Marcus was in custody now. Three of is other subs have already been contacted. Two of which agreed to come to Zeus’ Quarters to meet and experience a proper dom- mostly to help them heal. The contract I scraped up included bans on pain, weight demands, and sex. Dakota seemed mortified by the prospect of having had sex. Since this paper was only good for a week- I thought it would be a good addition. Just before I knocked on the door to Dakota’s room I was finishing the call with my head maid. A room and car would be ready. I would just need to text Ryan when I was ready to leave. I knocked three times before pausing for a reply: none came. I shifted my weight as I mulled over my options. I tried knocking once more. Only silence followed.

Against my instincts I opened the door, searching the room for Dakota. My voice choked when I found him. I darted forward to his hanging body. He must have found rope in the stash somewhere, he hung from the strained ceiling fan with a toppled chair beneath him. 

“Dakota!” I finally found my dialect, I grasped his legs, lifting him- praying for slack. I had to get him down. My one arm easily supported his light frame as my other reached for the cord around his throat. His shaking hands were already frantically pulling against it: partial to my relief. My hand directed it over his head. Then quickly adjusted to catch his falling torso. 

I stumbled the few feet to the bed before placing him down. My knees buckled beneath me as I had to take a moment to settle my shaking limbs. Dakota was gasping through sobs: but he was breathing.

He was alive.

( Fun-ish fact, the story could have ended here- I did two coin flips. If Dakota was going to attempt suicide, and if he was going to be successful. )

I threw caution to the wind as I crawled to the bed. My arms pulled him against my chest while a palm tucked his head under my chin.  
“I know you’re scared.” my voice was deep from panic. “You are safe now, Dakota.” to my surprise he clutched to my side like a child. There I held him until he had calmed down and now lingered on the ledge of sleep.

“We need to leave, Dakota.” I whispered. I was sure Ren would make an exception for him to stay the night- but I was also sure that Dakota wanted away from here. “Will you come to my home? Just as a friend staying over- I promise. “ I sat up, separating our connection to accent my words.

“Yes.” his voice was small. “Master- take me away from here.” If he was going to call me ‘Master’ I wanted him to read the boundaries I set for myself first. Then again; who knows where his head is right now- may be rehearsed words. 

“Who are you with right now?” I asked in a stern voice. 

“Damien Vagner?” he spoke softly, as if questioning. I felt my shoulders relax. I turned white full robe in my hands offering it to him.

“Just seeing if you knew who I was.” I smiled softly, “Let’s go?”

The black SUV pulled up before we made it to the front door. Ryan stepped out when he saw us and moved to open the passenger door. 

“Mr. Vagner, shall we be going to Mr. Grenwork’s estate?” Ryan asked formally but compassion was thick in his eyes.

“Not tonight.” I hushed after Dakota was safely inside. “Grenwork will be joining us for the night.” He nodded his understanding then promptly returned to the driver’s seat. “Do you get motion sickness?” I asked Dakota once we made it to the highway. He mumbled a weak “no” through his bruised throat. I handed him the two page contract. “I want you to read and think about this.” My voice was even and serious. “This is your choice as much as it is mine. Talk to me about agreements and lack thereof.” He was silent for nearly half an hour- we were almost at my estate when he spoke up.

“No pain. No sex.” his voice was weak from being strangled. “What’s left?” I placed a hand on his thigh, his eyes met mine as I explained.

“Everything you originally wanted. Everything that should have originally happen.” This ‘contract’ lasted a week should he choose. This was a trial period for the both of us. A time for us to learn about each other. “If you choose, we can build the next contract together.” His eyes fidgeted as he stared off in thought. Every fiber of my being screamed to take him the hospital. He, however, made it clear how he felt about that notion. He wasn’t mentally stable enough to decide.

He wasn’t mentally stable enough to not decide.

I feared that if he was forced again- no amount of effort would pull him from the abyss he’s hid himself in. Help was on the level of rape. I’m worried he came home with me so easily. At least it’s me and not another Marcus. Ryan let us out at the door of the manicured manor. Instead of his routine of dropping me off and going to garage the car, he lingered to silently offer help to Dakota. He seemed only slightly surprised when I easily lifted Dakota’s robe wrapped body into my cradling arms. 

“Welcome home, Mr. Vagner.” a smiling voice greeted. “ I assume Mr. Grenwork will be retiring early?” her hazel eyes never left Dakota. “We’ve readied the room next to yours, Mr. Vagner, I hope that fairs well.” It was perfect. Close enough I could hear him, far enough or him to relax. 

“Thank you, Beautiful.” I smiled at the blush that graced Bella’s face. “Can you contact Direson for me, before you end your night?” I saw the sleepy features of her eyes. Her shift ended long ago. She was too nosy about Dakota to let sleep take her away. 

“Of course.” she chirped before scurrying away.

I laid Dakota on what I hoped to be his new bed, in his new room, on the second floor of my home. He gazed up at me weakly, fear evident in his features. I sat myself in the chair at the far side of the moderate room. 

“Why are you doing this?” he questioned. I wasn’t surprised, I was actually wondering why he hadn’t asked sooner. 

“I’m a dominate, Dakota, That title hold a lot of responsibility.” I watched as confusion blended with fear as I spoke, “Even though you were not my sub, I can not allow you to endure what Marcus was doing to you. As a human, I had to step in.” Dakota fell silent again. I understood his pauses as much a I hated them. He had hid an almost successful plot to kill himself in one of those silences before. 

“Am I your sub now?” he spoke without looking at me. 

“That is up to you, you choose whether or not to sign.” 

He reclused back into his thoughts. I wanted nothing more than to see the workings and emotions he hides so seamlessly spill out, Even just for a moment. We sat quietly as I awaited Dr. Direson’s arrival. He didn’t live far, but it was eleven at night. I was sure he would come: for an abused soul- he would come. 

“I want to sign.” Dakota spoke dryly. The suddenness took me by surprise. 

“Are you sure?” I stuttered. He nodded his response. I brought him the paper, “I think I’ll sleep on it: but you can sign it if you want.” I knew my answer. Come tomorrow my name would be written. The delay was purely for Dakota to have time to back out. 

No strings attached.

A knock came from the door. Dakota suddenly looked nervous when I paced over to open it. 

“Doctor, I’m glad you came.” I smiled honestly. 

“Who is that?” Dakota spat. I introduced Derek Direson carefully. “He knows just about everything about me, so nothing will surprise him about you.” 

“I heard your back was pretty messed up. May I dress it for you? That way it won’t scar.” I hadn’t heard that voice from Derek in a long time. The albino man worked quickly and gently to clean and dress the markings. 

I excused myself, hoping Derek would be able to break Dakota’s silence. Maybe it was because I was a dom. There was a real possibility that his needs for help was out of my hands. Given the minimal history I have of him- I didn’t want to pass him on to the state. Where the verdict was somewhere between a psych ward and a cardboard box. At least my home will be open to him. Even if he wasn’t my sub, he could work here. Bella would find something. Dakota had a laundry list of things I felt I needed to attend.  
Safety and self worth were high on the said list. I needed to make him feel safe. With fresh Marcus stench on his skin- that would be easier said than done. What could I do? I was sat in my gently used art studio. Funny how I always want to do something, until I make it easy on myself. A half finished sketch of a woman laid mockingly on the desk before me. With this kind of work ethic, perhaps I shouldn’t try helping Dakota. I sat in silence. The dimly lit room gave just enough light for me to rememorize the complex lines that stained my skin. 

Maybe that was it, I’m a rich, heavily tattooed, thirty year old with a heavy hand in bondage. Dakota probably thinks I’m a human trafficker. In actuality I am a head scientist in a lab just on the outskirts of the city. I work with enough bio-hazardous material that I figured I would arrive to work one day in the haz-mat suit. It didn’t go over so well on the train. Not only did I need to find a different train system- I finally accepted I just have to get up earlier. 

People at work don’t judge me for my ink, mostly because most people there don’t know I have it. Contrary to public consensus; my IQ did not drop with every needle and piercing. A knock echoed from the ajar doorway, Derek hummed his entrance. 

“How is he?” I interrupted his voice before realizing it. 

“Besides the obvious?” he shrugged. “I took a sample of blood and I’ll run a couple of screens when I go in tomorrow.” I nodded my understanding, standing to face the ghostly doctor. 

“Did he talk with you?” I felt my throat dry as his expression shifted. 

“He asked for you.” I stood stunned at his words. Direson must have read this on my face. “You just saved his sanity, saved his life, then brought him home. And you’re still surprised that he may like you a little bit?” Derek was mocking me, I rolled my eyes in response. 

“He recluses from me every time I speak.” I marginally whined. A low chuckle carrying a reminder to sleep answered me. Derek glided from the room, I followed suit down the hall to Dakota’s room. I opened the door as I knocked softly. He was laying down, facing away from me. “How are you feeling?” I tested the darkness. 

“You left me alone with him.” Dakota’s voice was heartbreaking. I tried to explain but I quickly resorted to apologies. 

“Did Derek scare you?” I finally spoke after a pregnant silence. 

“I don’t remember.” Dakota spoke as if he was admitting to a murder. I paced the short distance to his side, gingerly touching his shoulder. 

“Sweetie, that’s not your fault.” I struggled to keep my voice from cracking. “Marcus has hurt you, now your reaction is to withdraw.” He rolled enough to look up at me.

“I don’t remember getting into your car, I thought I was going home to Vladimir. I thought you expected so much more from me tonight.” his eyes were fidgeting, tears were brimming his long lashes. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t see that.” I whispered. Dakota was terrified, and I did nothing to aid it. “Are you okay to sleep alone? Or would you care to join me?” I had no clue what Dakota would say. 

“I’m.” He trembled. “I’m not okay.” I paced carefully to the drawers: remembering Dakota was still naked.

“What do you sleep in?” I asked, trying to smile.

“Vladimir always prefered-”

“What do you like to wear?” My voice interrupted his. Marcus had control of every goddamned aspect of Dakota’s life. 

“I use to wear.” he paused as if trying to recall. “I wore boxers and a tank top before.” That was what I was going to find him. Hell or high water. Although, thankfully, neither came to pass. I had helped him change,. I had changed to a similar tank and sweats. I laid beside him, allowing him to clutch at my side. Only then, at 01:50 did we consider resting for the night. 

“Don’t be afraid to wake me, Dakota.” I whispered as my arm lazily cradled his shoulder.  
I had woken up about my normal time of eight. Yet I lie here watching Dakota rest. Some time in the night he had managed to entangle both of his arms around mine. I didn’t mind, he looked peaceful for once. Two timid knocks summoned from the far door. “Mr. Grenwork?”  
Dakota’s eyes flew open, yet his body tensed as he went rigid. 

“Breakfast is at ten: fifteen minutes if you wish to join us.” It was the young boy Alex’s voice calling unsurely. Two more knocks. 

“We will be down soon.” I answered from my place. My heart broke to see the state of terror Dakota was gripped in. I cupped his chin, tilting his head to open his airway. “Dakota,” I started.

“I didn’t mean to sleep, Master.” He began to shake, “What would you like, Master?” his voice grew hoarse as he spoke, “Don’t hurt me, please.” I propped myself upon my forearm as I examined Dakota’s features. 

“You’re okay, Dakota.” I hushed, “I’m not Coldon, Sweetheart.” He seemed to believe me as he sat up. I vaguely fixed his hair through fingers as he seemed to collect his thoughts.  
“Breakfast is soon, would you care to join us?” I smiled when he braved a glance at me.

“Oh, okay.” he stuttered. A knot formed in my throat when I saw how much of a bruise had developed on Dakota’s throat.


	2. pgs 32-61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, holy hell. I was not expecting last chapter to blow up like it did. I know that's not a lot for many people on here- but mind you I use this site as a secondary storage of sorts. If you enjoy I'm glad and fairly amazed.  
> Feel free to leave a comment- I'll answer all of them because it's no fun going insane by yourself.

As noon approached, I sat with Dakota on my porch that overlooked the garden. The simple contact laid only half signed between us. 

“Have you changed your mind?” I asked seriously, “Have you any doubts, Dakota?”

“Can you stop calling me that?” He bit, then recoiled on himself, “Master, please.”

“Is that not your name?” I touched his white knuckles, silently pleading for him to go easy on himself. 

“It is. Dakota Grenwork.” He stumbled over his words, “It’s just… he… He used it.”

“Coldon?” I read panic in his eyes of a flash back. PTSD?

“Coldon, ‘Vladimir’ never.” I forced myself still as he spoke, I wanted to cradle him: lay Dakota on the bench to let the sun kiss his skin and my palms massage the muscles below them. Make him feel safe.

“Who is he?” I asked in a low, careful tone. 

“He did things my body responded to. Things that hurt, but my body betrayed me. Things I didn’t want to do, things I didn’t want done. My body betrayed me, Damien!” he grew hysterical with every gasped breath.

“Why would you want a dominate, Sweetheart?” I carefully controlled myself, bracing for an answer. 

“I want my body back. I want to know why that happen. I have so many questions.” he spoke through his palms, his voice thick with emotion. Dakota was hurt long before Coldon got to him. I stood to wrap him in my arms. 

“You’re safe now.” my breath was warm in his ear. “I’ll tell the cops you’re not ready to talk yet.” He quivered in my supporting arms. I wanted nothing more than to hide Dakota away. Far away from his past, his fears. “May I serve you, Dakota Grenwork, as your dominate?” I kept my voice strong though it escaped slightly husky.

“Please, Master, I’m scared of myself.” he confessed. I took the dormant pen and carefully scripted my name, ‘Damien X. Vagner.’ 

“I’ll protect you, Sweetheart.” I murred.

After dinner he had calmed. I was dressed in black slacks. My muscular torso bare, tanned, and inked. I had also put in some of my many piercings.  
“Relax.” I purred as I took Dakota’s palm under a kiss, “Trust me.” His golden eyes locked to me, I smiled softly. “I want you to experience your body.” I cradled his cheek in a palm, “This isn’t for sex, this is not for me.” his eyes clouded slightly. I stopped. One hand cradling his jaw, the other cupping his hand. “Sweetheart, you’re safe.” I purred as his mind seemed to be barely tethered to the now. I looked him over carefully, meeting his nervous gaze.  
“I would cover your eyes.” I coaxed. “If it makes you feel safer, I will not move without your sight.”

“Master?” he choked.

“What is it, Sweetheart?”

He fidgeted nervously before settling in my palm. “I’m dirty.” he heaved through a quivering lip. I considered the multiple meanings behind the small words. 

“Let us shower then?” I lifted his palm to stand. A thought lurked in the back of my mind as we walked toward my master bathroom. I knew I saw him naked before: but is he ready for it so soon? First I turned the water so it would be perfect for us. Then I aided Dakota out of his simple shirt. The blood soaked bandages grimmly mocked me as I carefully peeled back the tape. 

His back looked… better. Everything had scabbed over and no infection could be found. I tossed the dressings to the near by can. Only then did I realize the look on Dakota’s face as he stared mortified by his reflection. I softly spoke his name. It wasn’t until i physically stood between him and the mirror that he seemed to realize I was even there.

“The water is waiting.” I softly spoke, inches from his ear. He rigidly removed his lower garments. Emotion and panic choked his voice as he stuttered. I cradled his jaw, lifting his gaze. “You are safe.” I borderlined a demand. “With me, you will always be safe.” One of my arms encircled his thin waist as I lead him into the shower. He seemed to stumble over his word as he saw me enter the shower, still as clothed as I was. I had to chuckle. “This is for you, Sweetheart.” I explained, taking the sprayer in hand. I supported the nap of his neck as I began to rinse his dark hair. I was going to comment, until I saw the water run black over his shoulder. I quickly stopped and rinsed the dark away from his wound.

“Fucking hell?” my tongue slipped as I fingered his wet locks. Dark ink smeared over my skin. 

“I was bad.” he admitted, his golden eyes swimming with emotion. Marcus dyed his hair as a punishment? I can not let this run down his back. I breathed a shaky breath.  
“I was bad, I’m sorry, Master.” Dakota began to panic. I caught his forehead under my lips. 

“I’ll wash out the dye.” I murred. Tears cascaded his cheeks as I told him to wait, I would be right back. 

I placed the towel I retrieved over Dakota’s weak shoulders. It worked as a barrier for now. He was a breath away from a panic attack. I softly coaxed him through breathing. My large palm cradled half his head as my other worked water into the strands. A brilliant golden blond became evident under the ink. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. After he was clean, I continued to let the water run. The steam was thick in the confined shower. I whispered nonsense and promises into his ear as my hand splayed on his chest.

“I’m your slut, Master.” he reluctantly cried. My eyes widened as I retreated my touch.

“You are not! Dakota, look at me.” I demanded. His golden eyes were blank as he gazed up. It broke my heart to seem him like this. “Sweetheart.” I borderline begged, “Look at me.” He blinked as his eyes seemed to focus. I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I don’t want sex from you, just feel my touch.” I slipped a hand to the base of his skull, my other palm gracing his chest. I purred at is reaction to his nipple being played with as I rolled the small bead between fingers. 

“Look at me.” I kept my voice low, just above a growl. His golden eyes moved lazily as he stared blanky. My touch retreated again. “Dakota, Sweetheart.” this was something that was proving to be a bigger problem that I had first thought. 

“Just let me die.” He cried a silent tear. I held him against myself, tightly. 

“Get those thoughts out of your head.” I growled.

“I’m no use to anyone.” he confessed hollowly. I trapped his lips in a kiss as my body held him against the wall.

“Do you feel what you do to me?” I purred, rubbing my clothed, hard, shaft along his. I kissed down his neck, purring love letters the entire way. “You removed the ‘no sex’ rule,“ I met his well aware eyes. “May I show you pleasure?” 

“You’re scaring me.” His voice cracked, I let him down immediately. My hands moved to support his biceps. 

“I’m sorry.” I bleated, my mind reeling over what I had done. Dakota was not a healthy sub. I could not treat him as such. “I’m sorry. I’ve stopped.” I repeated to clarify. What was I thinking? He’s a rape victim. Dakota stepped shakily from the shower. I followed closely behind.

He stood to gaze at his reflection. I was beyond thankful he could not see his back. 

My weekend was spent. Dakota had been at my home for three days now. Well, four days come tonight. I opted for Ryan to pick me up instead of the train after work. This had been the first day I had been away from Dakota. My nerves were eating away at me.

“Don’t worry,” I had told him. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He had worry painted all over his face, however. There was little I could do. 

“We kep’t an eye on ‘em” Ryan spoke while driving. “Bella’s with ‘em now” That eased one worry I had. At least Dakota was alive. “He’s a good kid.” Ryan continued, “Sad shit’e like this happens to the innocent ones.” I didn’t even comment on his language. Ryan was a typical irish- tell one hundred percent how it is, regardless of who you were.

“Did everyone eat?” I mused.

‘Want’a stop for something?” Ryan changed lanes in preparation.

“There’s food at home, I’m sure.” I just wanted Dakota under my eyes. 

We had just pulled up to the manor when my cell buzzed. I was going to bump it to voicemail- until i recognized the number as the one I gave to Dakota.

“Hello?” I couldn’t hide my concern. Ryan gave me a crossed expression in the mirror. 

“Damien, I’m so sorry.” His voice was in panic.

“Where are you?!” I growled, Ryan’s eyes widened from something behind the car. He bolted across the yard, I could hear his feet pounding up the steps. I circled, clutching the phone. 

“Vladimir’s house.” he choked out a cry of pain before he could finish. Marcus’ demonic laugh could be heard in the background. When did that bastard get out? When: HOW did he get a hold of Dakota?!

“Dakota: I’ll be there soon.” I yelled into the phone. 

“He’s calling to break up with you, ‘Xatan’.” Marcus answered, “After all- we have a contract.” The line went dead. I tried calling him multiple times franticly- each one being declined within a few rings. In a rage I turned to scream. Ryan stood with a bruised Bella.

“I’m sorry.” she cried, “he… he had a gun. If I told- if i screamed.” I hushed her. I knew Coldon was a demon, there was no way she was to blame for any of it. 

“We’re going to bring him home.” I nodded to Ryan, who was nearly halfway into the car already.

“Hardy baytins’ to that rotten feen who even scared that feek dove.” His background always did show when he was pissed. He sped off as I made two calls: one to the police, the other to Ren. 

We pulled up to the ranch stilled roach. We had beat the cops there, but sirens in the distance did not give much lag time. I pounded on that demon’s door. “Marcus Coldon, open this fucking door!” I belted at the top of my lungs. 

He did, mockingly. I jammed my steel toe into the cracked door, fixing my sight to him. “I said ‘open the fucking door,’ Coldon.” I snarled as squad cars squealed in behind me. He blatantly took his time tallying them before fixing back to me. 

“Too much of a pussy to face me alone?” he snorted. “Sorry, the mutt needs a dom with a set of balls.” I decked him, hard. If I wasn’t so pissed it may have hurt my hand when his nose crunched, but I didn’t even notice. I merely stepped around him- searching the house for any sign of Dakota. Cops swarmed as I paced room to room- no sign of him. Piles of filth littered the edges: garbage, old food, clothes, used needles. By then, a pit was growing in my stomach. 

I lifted my phone to call him, the ring came from under my feet before being cut artificially short. I and many of the other officers began throwing up the sparse furniture, rugs, and marginally recent filth. There had to be a way under the house. Ryan and two others sprinted outside to see if there was a hidden storm shelter entrance or something. 

Despite the small army calling out for Dakota, he didn’t make a noise. Not that we could hear anyway. Under a pile of disused clothes, a hatch of an old root cellar was found. There, crumpled in the corner, was Dakota. I demanded as I dropped in for the others to wait up top. I didn’t know how Dakota was going to handle all of this. The floor was easily eight feet down, the air was dark and cold. I moved cautiously towards his side. 

“Master Vladimir, I swear, I didn’t answer!” he begged while refusing to look at me. He wore nothing but goosebumps and what I hoped was water. I cooed softly, cloaking him in the suit jacket I had worn. 

“It’s okay, we’re going home.” I spoke carefully through panic. What had Marcus done? He repeatedly apologized in a hysteric panic. However, he didn’t look more battered than before. I hugged him tightly. “None of this is your fault, Sweetheart.” 

“Xatan, Dakota!” a familiar voice called, “Need a hand out?” Derek’s ghostly profile lent an out stretched hand. 

“Don’t let them see me!” Dakota begged as I held him to my chest.

“Do you remember Derek? The doctor?” I hushed, the chatter above was only increasing. He nodded weakly. “He’s here.” I prayed that was good news. “He’s going to help get you out of here.” I explained quickly, though the terror in Dakota’s face was not receding.I had to hand off Dakota to one of the well built officers since there was no ladder. From there, two others helped me up. 

“Xatan, this is Keven” Derek beckoned briefly before motioning to the large officer who now held Dakota’s tiny frame. “Keven, this is Damien: Xatan, this is my brother.” Derek rushed his words as he waved like a desperate yet flightless bird to rush the gurney over to Dakota’s side. Keven was built like a pit bull. Black hair and frighteningly dark irises dominated his otherwise pale features. 

“Good to meet you, finally.” He spoke in a gruff voice. “Ren called us, don’t worry- this will be taken care of right this time.” I held a skeptical relief in hearing that. Derek had turned his focus solely on Dakota: who was again a breath away from a panic attack.

Keven set Dakota on the stretcher, carefully. Derek began to look the boy over, scratching a few unsaid findings down. Keven took my statement. I recalled the phone call, what Bella had said, and what led up to Marcus’ broken nose. 

Half the county’s police could recite Ryan’s statement by how loud he was, granted they spoke fluent pissed off irishman. He was overly protective of Bella, not that I blamed him. She was a harmless young woman- to have her at gunpoint.

Derek waved for me, I approached quickly and took Dakota’s hand in mine as soon as I was within range. “What he needs is in your department.” Derek spoke under his breath, finishing a note. He met my confused gaze when he glanced up. “He’s been drugged.” Derek kept his voice low. “Bremelanotide, or PT-141.” Derek waited a moment for an officer to pass by. “It’s barely legal in some of the sketchier european countries. It’s also supposed to be snorted- Marcus injected it.” My throat went dry as I studied Dakota’s half lidded expression. “Just bring him home, make him ‘comfortable.’ It will wear off.” Derek signed the final line on the clipboard. 

“Thank you.” I nodded, “to both of you.” Either one of them were just a call away. 

I was sat in the back seat, Dakota laid across my lap covered in both Ryan and my coats. He was suffering from this drug. I could see the conflict in his features. Home wasn’t far away- but I wondered if I would be able to just watch for that long. His breathing was erratic, his knee was bent in an attempt to hide it, but his cock was strained. I could only imagine the line between lust and pain he must be forced to dance. I let my fingers comb his sweat laden hair.

“Dakota.” I murred pitifully, “Hang in there, sweetheart.” Was this what he meant by his body betrayed him?

“Master.” he choked. “What’s happening to me?” My heart shattered. I could hear an irish curse being drawn out under Ryan’s breath from the front seat. 

“I need you-” I had to pause to clear the growing lump in my throat. “I will try to help, but I need you to trust me.”

“Always, Master.” he whined through a restrained groan. I silently wished he didn’t always call me ‘master.’ 

Before we stopped at the front door, I had Dakota wrapped in my coat and cradled against my chest. I booted the door open, barking for someone to open the house. Ryan scrambled up the porch stairs in front of me. I was whispering nothings as I doubled the stairs to the second floor. I had decided on my room- his would be kept sacred. He needed somewhere he knew no one would hurt him. 

I laid him back on my bed, his head cradled by pillows. My hands opened his coat, exposing his flushed skin to the cooler air. I breathed his name as I tucked a hand under him and supported the base of his skull with a soft pressure. I searched his eyes, only pain and confusion were in them. My free hand searched the nightstand for the small bottle I stashed. Sweet liquid coated my fingers as I continued to whisper to Dakota. 

His whole body trembled, a moan somewhere between bliss and agony ripped from his throat. My palm was wrapped around him, my thumb lazily circled his tip as I begged for him to remember how to breathe. His body stretched and arched against me, his body was begging me. 

“Master.” He cried in the sexiest moan that has ever graced my senses, “May I?”

“Whenever you want.” I purred. I wanted to say ‘no.’ I wanted to lick every last drop of sanity from him. He’s not a healthy sub, don’t treat him as such. My thoughts silently chastised me as he climaxed. The overwhelming silence of it drew me back. His body was still trembling with aftershocks, long after my grip left him. His eye’s were closed. His lips were in a tight line with a corner of his normally full lips held in a vice beneath a dull fang.

“Dakota.” I softly commanded. My fingers cradled his cheek as my thumb grazed his strained skin. His jaw relaxed as his golden eyes looked back to me: they were swimming in emotion. 

“Why is everything on fire?” his words were weak through pants. My fingers left his cheek, trailing softly to his ribs, even from that he blushed.

“You’ve been drugged.” I spoke carefully, “What you’re feeling is not your fault.” Panic began to overtake, until my touch lazily played with the little bead of his nipple.  
“I’m only here,” I adjusted my position, my lips were only a breath away from his chest. “To make sure.” I let my teeth graze the teasing bead, “You don’t suffer.”  
Okay, I would drink in some of his sanity.

“Stop, please.” he groaned. I lifted myself onto a forearm- my touch leaving him completely. He seemed to be attempting to catch his breath. I silently looked his strained body over, his cock was hard already. “Why is everything on fire!” he ground out a frustrated growl. 

“Want me to run a shower for you?” it took far more of my will power than I expected to not take every square inch of his body. 

“Please, anything.” He squeaked. I wrapped him in my suit jacket as I moved off of the bed. 

 

I could hear his labored breath over the running water. My back was on the wall next to the glass shower door. My thoughts were pondering on what can be done for the boy. This was not something a cool shower would tame. 

“Master.” Dakota’s voice pleaded. I turned to gaze at him the the partially steamed glass. “Please, Master.” he cried, sliding to his knees. I threw the door open, scrambling to his side- my clothes soaking in the spray. “Put it in.” his voice was small- embarrassed. I sat speechless. There was no way I could do that to anyone who was drugged. Let alone to the one I signed to protect. Was he suffering because of that? “Please.” he begged, his shaking hand fumbled along my crotch to undo the offending button. I took hold of both his wrists, my gazed burned into him as I tried to decide what to do. He couldn’t bare to stand, I didn’t even know if his body could take me.

“Lie back.” I whispered, guiding him back onto the water warmed tile. I perched myself over him to protect him from the running spray. My right hand cupped between his legs while I lowered a kiss to the corner of his tense jaw. My ring finger graced his tense hole causing Dakota to gasp. There was a fleshy smack as he tried to push himself away- but the tile slid beneath him. My hand left him as I propped myself up to gaze at him.

“What are you doing?” he stuttered. 

“Is sex not what you meant?’ I was confused- replaying the entire scene in my head. 

“Yes… but.” this only deepened my confusion. “What are you doing with your fingers?” My blood ran cold at the question.

“No one’s ever prepared you, Dakota?” 

He shook his head stuttering his lack of understanding. I cursed long and low under my breath. I was only going to use my hands, find that sensitive bundle of nerves. I was rethinking everything I had assumed. “I’m going to move you to my bed.” I thought aloud. “So you don’t slip again.” He nodded, watching me carefully. “There, if you still want.” I met his eyes to be sure he was listening. “I will make you feel good.” I lifted him from the floor, turning off the water. “But I’ll only use my hands.” I studied his reaction.

“What about you?” his voice was small again, I barely stifled the growl that hissed from my throat when he gripped me through my wet clothes. 

“I” I managed to control my voice as I caught his wrists, “can take care of myself.” A side of me was screaming that he had offered, why are you doing this to yourself? Dakota wasn’t actually okay with going further- I could see it in his eyes. That damned drug was a demon possessing his senses. 

I knew I held his sanity in the palms of my hands as I lifted his chin for a kiss. Silent tears stained his pale cheeks as I sat mulling over what was now a huge grey area. H had grown quiet since I helped him to the ed. My robe was still clutched about him, still. That should be sign enough to stop. My palm smoothed back his damp hair as I searched his face for a hint the drug was receding.

“How are you feeling?” I tried to not spook him.

“It…” He looked gravely nervous. “Not… as bad as b-before?” 

“That’s great.” I smiled, moving carefully to find us some fresh clothes. “Do you want to watch tv or something to calm down?” His golden eyes were locked to me in shock.

“Aren’t you… you know… Expecting from me?”

A frown creased my brow, but I kept my back to him so that he couldn’t miss read it. “Sweetheart, I never expect from you, or anyone. No is effectively no.” He reclused to his thoughts again as I pulled on an odd mix of pajamas. Hell, I wanted to stop him from doing that: but that would only come at his time. Dakota’s pace. It was clear that not much of anything was Dakota’s pace prier. That whole past afternoon held shades of grey between consent and force. Dakota’s mind did not want sex. His body very much did.  
Bella had taken control of the living room television- much to the forfeit of Ryan. She had some animated ‘classic’ on that detailed a world of what I assume are multiple worlds and feline mob-bosses. Whatever it was, Dakota took to it like a fish in water; Ryan and I repeatedly tried to compare notes to understand the story line.

Later in the night- now almost midnight- the credits rolled on screen. Dakota had nestled his back against my shoulder and dozed off. Ryan had fallen asleep as well, albeit not nearly as gracefully- seeing as he had ‘starfished’ over half the couch. Bella hummed her approval of the showing before falling silent.

“Beautiful?” I chirped, watching her glazed eyes. 

“Has anyone ever asked to you point a gun at them?”She hld it together, but her hands trembled. “ You know… as ‘Xatan’?”

“No.” I answered flatly, “I’m sorry that happen. If I hadn’t had Ryan pick me up- neither of you would have gone through any of this.” A silent tear ran the length of her flushed face before she found her voice.

“He demanded to know where ‘that red head’ was-” her voice squeaked. “Coldon was gonna’ kill him.” I wished desperately that I could move Dakota off of me. 

“We’re all together, at least.” I tried, reaching with my free hand even though I knew she was out of range. 

“Would you be mad if Ryan and I dated?” her question was sudden, as if it weighed on her for a long time before now.

“As long as the two of you got married here. Give that garden of yours a use: other than bees.” I smiled, the two of them together was something that I had suspected for a long while. “If you want the company, why don’t the two of you retire for the night?” I cupped Dakota against my chest, “I’ll be near Dakota if you hear- or need- anything.” She nodded her understanding while mumbling a ‘thank you’ and ‘good night.’ 

“Bella,” I half sighed, “Beautiful- you are safe now. Coldon will not be released for a long time.”

“I never thought something like this would happen here.” her voice shook. I set the sleeping Dakota back on the couch. I breathed her name a I pulled her in for a hug.

“You don’t have to stay, I’ll help you move out if you want.” I wasn’t firing her. This house would probably fall apart without her in rule. 

“But I love it here.” she countered quickly. I only smiled when I saw a flash of the normal Beautiful Banshee. She could be a tyrant- which is why we needed her. When I released her I booted the leg of the sleeping ‘redhead.’ He woke with a curse. 

Dakota only feigned waking when I laid him in his bed. The man must have been exhausted, or was that a sign of the drug I should be worried about? I fidgeted with my cellphone a I silently debated if Derek would kill me for calling him this late. 

I also wondered about work tomorrow. I had left a test and reaction to go over night. Emma would skin me alive if I held up the scanner for another day. AND I didn’t need the new guy screwing up my synthesis. This is the fourth fuckin’ time I’m attempting it. 

Funny how science isn’t even down to a science. 

I laid with Dakota, cradling him against my chest. For now, I would be with him. 

I kissed Dakota goodbye in the morning. Alex was dusting in the foyer when I was readying to leave. Thankfully yesterday the youth was at school. His family was too poor to send him- and too afraid of the state funded schools to risk him. His mother approached me- in tears- to let him work for me. She heard from another family about working as a butler of sorts to earn money for a less deadly school. The other houses she talked with shoed her away like a stray dog. I couldn’t turn her away. Now Alex goes to the best school in my district. In truth, he only ‘works’ here so that Bella or I can tutor him when he needs it. 

The bus ride was always a slap of reality. I was running late and all of the trains I would have taken are long gone. There were always people begging on the edges of the sidewalks and waiting docks. Every so often a shop owner would brush some along- but they only made room for the next. I always thought I clawed my way up from hell- I realize now I’ve always had it good. Then again if I was content at the time, I would not have crawled up tooth and nail like I had. I can’t save everyone, but the efforts make all the difference for the few. 

Like Alex. Possibly even Dakota.

I was silent on the bus, following suit of most the passengers. I couldn’t help but wonder where each one was going: I was surrounded by individuals with different wonderful stories to tell. Yet we all still sit and coexist in silence. 

I buzzed into my work with a keycard I had fished from a pocket. I only earned a few moderately confused glances as I rushed to the elevators. With a second, orange, keycard I activated the lift for my floor.

That was when I prayed Emma would understand why I needed a few days off. I would finish what I have going. Then pick up my next assignment next week. I hoped.

“Damien, you look, different.” her voice questioned her and my sanity.

“Sorry I’m late Mrs. Stein.” My sight focused on her before I caught myself in a stutter. “Mrs… erm.. Dr. Emma Stein.” 

“I’m sure there are reasons, like the one of why you’re always in the NMR.” her eyebrows quirked almost playfully. I did good- efficient work. I think that is the only reason I  
haven’t been fired yet. 

“Some things have come up at home.” I began; granted I still had no idea how to explain any of it.

“Everything okay?” worry flickered to her eyes.

“We are, it’s just.” I pawed at my hair, hoping to untangle my thoughts. “Bella had a bit of a scare. An armed man threatened her- she wasn’t hurt, but.” She listened to me silently, shock in her expression. “The man had a history with… our… new ‘roommate’- an abusive one- you could imagine. After last night, I would just rather be near them if they need me. Just for a few days.”

“Go home, Vagner.” she dismissed,”Call me when things settle down.”

“What about C6NH4?” I slightly panicked. 

“Let the aid do his job.”

“But I don’t trust Duke.”

“Who’s Duke? You mean Edgar?”

“Isn’t that a Frankenstein character?”

“Vagner, go home.” She chuckled, “Don’t worry about things here.” I nodded, more for myself- “Yeah, thank you, Dr. Stein.” 

I phoned Ryan to check on things and to warn him I was coming home early. He offered to come pick me up- but I refused. “I got myself out here, I can get myself back.” Bella took hold of the phone before he hung up.

“Mr. Selthin had called.” she read a note. “Wished to arrange a Zeus' Quarters scene between you and his ‘pet’.” I thanked her for letting me know. Selthin knew I hated the term ‘pet’. Regardless, he was going to be another migraine to put off for another time.

I thanked the driver by handing him a few folded bills. The taxi had let me out by the front gate- but I was home. 

I hoped to find some form of normalcy within.


	3. pgs 61-79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel as if there should be a warning here.  
> I know I'm a dry/crappy writer and all but look, what is written here is FICTION  
> Don't let what goes on in the next chapter effect how you perceive getting help.  
> Doctors, hospitals, nurses, the whole staff is a force to help you in any and every situation that rears it's head.  
> this is not how the treatment of SAS exams, or "rapekits" work.  
> Rape is a serious thing that leaves serious marks, it would never be approached like this in an actual setting.
> 
> With that aside, enjoy the update. I'm sorry it took so long.  
> My one job was screwing me over, so I had to find/train a new job.  
> I am now in the 'adulting' process of catching up, and will frequently be here pretending that writing could actually be my job.

As normal as a home run by a tyrant banshee could be. Her voice was amiss however. I wrote it off as a hopeful thought that she was in the gardens- causing the newest group of workers to quit halfway through the job, again. Alex was the first I found- sitting with two books strategically placed before him on the dining table. I silently glided past, he looked confident in his work for once: I didn’t want to spook him.

Mary was in the kitchen. I could have sworn she was a witch with the intoxicating scent of her every dish. Her white hair up tight and kind, soft smile told a different story. 

I found Ryan and Bella on the back porch. They were nestled on the wicker set, Bella’s head on his shoulder.

“You’ve tamed the beast.” I teased playfully.

“Teh’ beast just tried teh’ kill a sleeping gardener wit’ a spade.” Ryan snorted half way through his warning. 

“Where’s Dakota?” I asked while counting off the dozen workers sent to tend my yard. 

“Your man hasn’t left his room ‘?” Ryan tilted his head as if trying to recall. “Lad missed breakfast- but lunch is soon, it is?” Ryan was hungry as usual. Sure I was worried Dakota hasn’t eaten yet, but he probably just slept in.

I had to use effort to control my pace up the stairs: mostly so I didn’t sound like a small herd of elephants trying to rid themselves of an offending mouse. I knocked politely on Dakota’s door.

Silence.

“Dakota, are you up?” I tried to keep worry out of my voice, “Lunch is soon, I would like you to join us, Sweetheart.” He opened the door part way. He was still in his night clothes but he had the blankets from his bed wrapped about himself. 

“You’re home early, Master.” he took a shaky breath. 

“You can call me by name, Sweetie.” I was effective in hiding annoyance from my voice. I barely put up with the title of ‘Master’ during an intense scene. Dakota called me it constantly.

“But, Master.” Dakota’s eyes widened in panic.

“Call me Damien, or Xatan, or fucker for all I care.” I huffed, “How’s this, only call me ‘master’ during a bdsm scene.” I knew that was far from middle ground. How was I supposed to build up the kid’s self esteem if he actively destroys himself! 

“Mister Vagner, I…” he stuttered. I guess that was a step in the right direction.

“How are you doing?” I leaned on the rail of the door.

“Mister Vagner, I- “ I suddenly realized how flushed he was, not just from stress. “I was.” he seemed to curl in on himself.

“Dakota, talk to me.” my voice warned, worry grew like a spike in my chest.

“I was bad. Mast-mister Vagner.” he couldn’t look at me. “I tried to be good, but… it broke. I don’t know what to do Master Vagner.” 

“What broke?” My voice grew louder without my consent. “Dakota, what did you do?” he cowered before me as I stepped into his room. I forced myself to calm, he was terrified. “Sweetheart.” I tried to purr. “I can help if you talk to me.”My hand held his shoulder,I was knelt down to be eye level with the collapsing figure. 

“The… the needle broke-” he was shaking horrendously. “It’s s...s-stuck in my arm… Won’t stop bleeding.” 

It took every ounce of effort for me to control my reaction. 

“Let me see.” short sentences with short words, I didn’t trust myself with any more. He shifted the comforter, lending me his arm. He had held a wad of tissue to the bend of his elbow. A bruise of a broken vein spidered up his bicep. I could see the silver of the metal just beneath the surface of the inflamed flesh. I softly pressed the tissue to the mark. “Where did you get this?” I carefully questioned.

“Master Vladimir brought them.” Dakota was not stable on his own feet so I supported him from under his arms. “He.” Dakota choked, “He said I would need it… if I wanted to be good for you.”

“Come lay down.” I whispered. 

Dakota is not a healthy sub: don’t treat him as such.

I helped him into his bed. His body heaved it’s breath, his pupils were blown. Still, I needed to school my reactions.

“What did you take?”

He crumpled into himself, stuttering. He didn’t know. He might have known at the time- but now he’s medicated and fragile. ‘Forgive him, Damien.’ I growled to myself. I hushed him carefully, “Sweetheart.” I hardly recognized my own voice. “Where is the rest of it?”

“The drawer,” he blurted- clearly desperate to do something right. I pulled the handle: three glass vials and two capped syringes rolled before me.

I schooled my reaction.

“You don’t need this, Sweetie.” I told myself I didn’t growl. “I’ll get rid of it later.” 

“But Master Vlad-”

“Coldon lied to you!” I interrupted his plea. “Dakota Grenwork, I need to bring you to the hospital.” His refusal was laced with panic and plead. I had to wonder if that was Coldon's doing as well. Was the hospital a punishment? In the midst of his anxiety attack- I pressed my lips to his forehead.

“Dakota.” I purred, “I only want to protect you.” I only paused to judge his condition. “I need to know you will take care of yourself.” my words paused again. His eyes figeted from thought. My heart did break for him. Something or someone ruined this man. He believed he needed drugs to ‘be good’.

‘That must be why he wants a master.’ I breathed his scent. ‘It seems to be a motive for a lot of what he does.’ 

All this man wants is approval, to ‘be good’.

Dakota was in a cold sweat- one I would think for a date-rape drug. How long ago had he done this? Judging the withdrawn look in his eyes- I wasn’t going to get an answer. 

The hospital was the only logical place for this to play out. I could only speculate what he took- the vials were clear and unmarked. I could only speculate how large of a dose; and how long ago he took it.

“Fuck, Dakota, why?” I growled. My emotions and reasoning was boiling up within me. That was when I dialed Derek.

“Its your favorite pain in the ass.” I snorted when his voice answered.

“What’s goin’ on Xatan?” a voice in the background questioned as Derek apparently stopped whatever he was doing.

“Dakota injected something. He’s behaving as it was a date-rape type thing.” anger seethed in my voice- Dakota had fallen unconscious. I studied his breathing as Derek replied.

“What was it? How much? How long?” the three most important questions- all of which I could only speculate.

“I don’t know Direson.” I admitted defeat. 

“I’m at Mercy Shire now.” I could hear him aggressively typing, “I’m sending a taxi- he needs to be here Vagner.”

I agreed with him, hoping that Dakota would understand: in time perhaps. 

 

I watched the ambulance speed off with the unconscious man. I couldn’t bare the look of guilt in Bella’s eyes. She blamed herself as usual. I handed off every bit of Coldon’s offering to Keven. I liked the guy- but I didn’t care for seeing him for these reasons.

Dakota may have been a lost cause from the beginning. Why did I always try to save complete strangers?

Ryan offered me a ride to the hospital right away- I asked him to hold off. Only for an hour or so. If I was going to get anywhere with this man- I needed to think.

I paced the labyrinth of my manor as I let my mind wander. I knew strikingly little about Dakota. His history starting and stopping abruptly with Coldon. Dakota also said something about “he called me Dakota.” but in the same breath said Coldon never even acknowledged him as human. I didn’t want to speculate someone had violated Dakota before Coldon- but what else was there to assume? 

Dakota was desperate for approval- seeking a master for it. “My body betrayed me.” Maybe the first bastard had restrained Dakota- them mocked him when his body reacted? Perhaps he was drugged?

Clearly he does not have a lot of experience in self-administering. Which may be the best news yet about the man. My pocket buzzed, I answered immediately when Derek’s name popped up. 

“Hello?” I braced for news.

“ Just letting you know. For an unconscious speculated date-rape victim, we need to do a rape kit, by law.” Derek’s voice was grave.

“I don’t know how well Dakota will handle that.” I paced to the house- my thoughts racing to worst case scenarios.

“Did the two of you do anything in the past week?” with his words I realized what he meant. 

“No, Direson.” I eased his fear. “Except for a quick palmer, he’s been too terrified to do anything else.” I tried to accent his fear of sex all I could. Dakota would perceive a rape kit as literal as possible. 

“Dakota is awake now- well, was.” Derek pauses as if he was reading something. “He panicked at first sight of us, before i could get there a nurse already sedated him.” 

“I’m heading over now.” had my car keys in hand and was pressing the garage door open.

“Drive careful- I cannot deal with the both of you at once.”

My mustang purred through her steering wheel. ‘Careful’ is a sweet gesture, honestly.

 

“I’m sorry, Sir. Grenwork can not have any visitors at this time.” the receptionist was nice. Quite frankly, she looked terrified of me. I pulled up my phone and dialed Derek.

“Did you seriously get lost?!” Derek bit.

“I’m in the lobby- no visitors allowed.” I spoke loud enough for the receptionist to reflexively recheck her work. Derek mumbled something something as he sounded to be fidgeting.

“What’s the name?” Derek barked from a distance- speakerphone. I looked her over, finding the nameplate on the desk.

“Elizabeth A.” I read aloud: within seconds her phone rang. 

“H...hello?” she stared wide eyed as she lifted the receiver.

“Let him up! B329 bed A!” Derek must have yelled, I could hear him through both phones. She lowered the phone with a defeated look in her eye, a fear that twisted my stomach. 

“Look.” I breathed, “No hard feelings, I know you’re just doin’ your job. How bout I rough up Dr. Direson for you?” I smiled playfully, cracking a knuckle in a halfhearted fist.

“He… he always yells like that, not just at me.” her voice was small. A frown creased my brow as I considered her words. 

“No one else goes to up to Dakota Grenwork, okay?”

She nodded her reply. I penned my number on the back of an appointment card, “If anyone gives you a hard time about it- call me.” I slid it to her, letting her search my eyes. 

“Okay,” she sheepishly smiled.

“That also goes for if Derek bullies you again.” I straightened, smiling at the smirk that graced her lips.

Floor 3, Hallway B, Room 29: which was on the left. Dakota had the room to himself- probably from the last outburst. 

He was asleep, I thought. When I stood by him I realized his half lidded eyes were following me.

“Dakota,” my voice broke. How badly had that wench sedated him? I took one of his hands in my palms. “I know you’re scared, Sweetheart.” I murred to him, looking over every detail around him. “I’m going to stay right here,” I met his eyes, “I can not always stop what’s happening, bit I will support your choice.” I moved his sweat laden hair from his golden eyes. 

“I was bad,” His hoarse voice was barely a whisper. “So I ended up here.” I was at a loss for words, so I merely pressed a kiss to the back of his heavy hand. 

“We’ll be home soon enough,” I silently prayed that was still good news to him. A nurse paced in pulling a softly rattling cart over the mostly smooth tile flooring. 

“I’m Jennifer Reines, I’m here for the SAS examination. If you could leave the room.” I bit off my first impulsive reply to the arrogant air of this nurse. What right did she have approaching this kind of situation- this way? I braced Dakota’s hand in mine as I schooled my skeptical nature. 

“May I ask for him to be fully awake first?” I silently congratulated myself for both asking and not swearing. 

“He’s a danger to himself and others, we will keep him sedated for the duration of his stay. Now leave,” she paused slightly before grounding out a “Please.” Dakota’s heart monitor had picked up, he still didn’t have strength to open his eyes. 

“I’m staying right here.” I growled, she snorted her annoyance of me. 

“What is she doing?” Dakota pleaded in a child’s voice. I lowered myself to his side as the nurse left the question unnoticed. 

“She’s going to perform a rape-kit.” I spoke carefully.

“He can not hear you.” she snorted. Apparently she had given up on evicting me and began to position Dakota for the exam.

“He’s awake.” my anger seethed unbridled. She raised a half amused eyebrow before returning to the preparation. I quickly whispered apologies and quick explanations to  
the limp man. Guilt clawed at my throat as I watched her complete the least invasive samples first: under his nails and the inside of his cheek.

Jennifer sat on the stool at the end of the padded table. Dakota was splayed half heartedly. Just as I tightened my grip on his hand, before I could warn him, she already began taking rectal samples. Dakota’s heavy eyes were fidgeting when the first invasive wave had passed. 

“Sweetheart,” I murmured, finding his gaze resting on me. Suddenly, his complexion turned to ash as a weak but audible cry escaped his dry lips. I glared down at Jennifer, her ring finger was three knuckles deep in the unprepared, unwarned Dakota. 

My words spat angrily at her as I demanded to know what she was thinking. She ignored me completely as she scribbled out more notes.

“Must be time for another dose.” she offhandedly shrugged. I was hoping she was done, but she drew another long swab from a casing. My warning glare went unconsidered as she quickly plunged it into Dakota’s urethra. 

Dakota’s scream was much stronger. My eyes widened as my reflex took over, gripping her wrist with a hateful vice. Dakota wreathed under us as my eyes burned into her, she spat. Granted it was far from the most vile thing to ever drip down my face.

“Unhand me, cocksucker!” She tried to wrench her hand away.

“You’re done here,” I snarled low in my throat, releasing her to fall the few steps back. She fixed herself, frowning at me. 

“I’ll be back with the sedative, and security.” she announced.

“Like hell you will,” I growled in a dangerous dominate voice, “You will never step foot near Dakota again.” My boiling rage turned blinding as I saw her motion towards Dakota again.

“GET OUT!” I screamed. With a disregarded comment about homosexuality, she took her things and stomped out. Once she was gone- I could see the tremble in Dakota’s form: he was terrified. 

In a practiced method I had not used in a long time, I gently pressed his member. My apologies and explanations of what I was doing were merged into a hopeless plead that this wasn’t going to hurt. At least, I knew it wasn’t going to hurt as bad as it would have. The dry swab was removed slowly, stopping every inch or so to let Dakota breathe. Any faster- I run a high risk of tearing his delicate tissue. 

Carefully I moved his heavy legs together. Silent tears ran the length of his cheeks as I cloaked him in the white blanket.

“Sweetheart,” I cooed. “I was very wrong for trusting her at all.” I tucked him, carefully, into the cotton fortress. I couldn’t help the pit of hate that swirled in my gut. I did nothing. I was with him, and I did no thing. 

A knock echoed at the doorway, Derek’s ghostly figure glided in and began washing his already undoubtedly pristine hands. 

“Are we awake?” He questioned carefully. Dakota was torn over how to react to Derek. Direson must have read the rage from my eyes as he promptly asked what was wrong. 

“That Jennifer nurse you sent it.” I growled. His brows quirked in confusion.

“The rape kit.” I possessively placed myself between the ghostly doctor and Dakota.

“I had clarified that I was the one to perform it,” frustration seeped into his voice. “I reprimanded Reiner for sedating him to begin with, then I told her I would be performing the SAS exam.”

“What was that then?” I threw an arm, “She hurt Dakota during it! Not to mention without explanation or consent!” I stopped when I saw a feral rage in Derek’s normally calculating eyes.

“Excuse me.” he bit out, abruptly turning out the door. I knew then hell would open up for that wench Jennifer. I stood silently from my spot in the room. Even from down the hall- I could hear the violent snarl from Derek’s voice that I could hardly believe was human. 

Barely fifteen minutes later a polite knock echoed from the doorway. I was sat on the bed next to Dakota, allowing him to cling to my arm like a lifeline. Derek paced in with the intensity of his albino eyes in check. 

Two others filed in behind him, their clothes labeling them as administration. They both had a sheepish look in their eyes. Derek turned to face them more than us, crossed his arms, and looked expectantly between the two.


	4. pgs 79-83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, but that is so this would come out sooner. I'm going to start updating more often with shorter chapters just because of how long it takes to type it out. 
> 
> I love comments, suggestions, and a huge helping of what-not.  
> Don't be shy, we won't judge.
> 
> Well, I won't.

“We want you to know we are deeply disturbed by the behavior of one of our faculty members.” the taller man with blond hair spoke shakily.

“Dr. Direson has informed us of the situation and we will be looking into it.” the other, brown haired man fidgeted. ‘Please don’t sue us,’ was all that I could hear.

“May I go home, Master?” Dakota attempted to sit up shakily. I offered a firm hand on his shoulder blades to support him as his heavy head lolled to a side in fatigue. 

“Of course,” the brown haired mop nodded quickly, seemingly oblivious to the question.

“I’ll be making house calls,” Derek spoke matter of factually.

“Of course,” the same echoed. I knew Derek had influence here, but he seemed to have them wrapped about his finger. 

“Is there anything else we could do for you at the moment?” the blond looked to me more than Dakota, he could not hide panic from his features.

“They will be in touch.” Derek waved them away as if they were a nuisance. The two filed out silently, eager for fresh air. Derek moved smoothly to the end of Dakota’s bed, looking to me before settling on Dakota’s golden eyes. “Dakota,” his voice was soft as silk, “Let me take the sensors off of you.” 

As if mocking the offer, Dakota’s heart monitor sped up. “At least let me get the wires off,” Derek did not move from his place, “and the IV needs to come out before you can go.” Derek was showing courtesy of Dakota’s fragile sanity. The drug that Reiner had given him still rendered him mostly motionless.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t wait for this to wear off?” I mumbled my question, afraid of how Dakota would react.

“It will wear off, probably before you get home if you only go ten over the speed limit.”  
Derek teased with only half a smirk, “I’ll bring him out through the visiting lobby, if you want to get your car.” His ghostly eyes flickered to me briefly before he continued to consider his fragile task. 

“I’ll be waiting.” My voice was gruff, but the next thing I realized was that my legs were carrying me in an effortless sprint. The hospital seemed to moved around me as I cut through the stairwells and out. The parking lot was mostly vacant due to the visiting hours being at the tail end. Just a few doctor’s cars, a couple stray guests that were begrudgingly moving towards their vehicles, and my Shelby.

The clock just clicked to seven when I saw the small group approaching the glass doors. I stepped out, rounding my charcoal and yellow striped beauty. I did not miss the priceless looks on the administrative faces. Derek moved the wheelchair to the only passenger door. Dakota’s clothes had been cut from him when he arrived, so he was still barely decent under the thin gown. His head hung limp, his already thin frame was curled in on itself: without much thought, I cradled his cheeks to look him in the eyes. They were a battle between fear and exhaustion. I lifted Dakota’s heavy limbs the few feet into my car. I whispered senselessness as I buckled him in, praying that this battle within him would resolve: whether it be sleep or not.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Xatan.” Derek nodded. I grunted my response as I slid into the driver’s side. 

By helping Dakota; I’ve made it worse.

He wanted to go home- I took that as a hopeful sign that he didn’t despise me. At least, he hated me less than the hospital.

I drove carefully, severely aware of my sedated passenger. 

I remember yelling to Ryan that the keys were in the ignition. I remember the familiar weight of Dakota in my arms as I scaled the staircase. I brought him to my room, laid him within the mound of my pillows on my bed. Away from the memories, away from fucking Coldon’s influence.

I smiled as Dakota drifted to a willing sleep. He was leaned against my chest, the sensors still stuck to his bare chest, but my hold was warmly wrapped about his side. I was not even going to try to disturb him now. He trusted me. Even though I had royally fucked up.

 

“About fuckin’ time you called me back!” Selthin’s voice accused from the speaker.

“I had other things to tend to.” I challenged back. The main flaw Selthin had was mistaking everyone as his subordinate. I for fucking sure was not.

Derek was in the neighboring room with Dakota. I took it as a chance to see what the bastard on the other end of the line wanted.

“I have a pet,” I could hear his snicker, “he wishes to do a public scene.”

I furrowed my brows. “Why don’t you do it?” 

A laugh answered me, “Why would I show off my skills for free?”

“You mean you have stage fright.” I mocked.

“I just thought something like you would be honored to have a high class slave.” he retorted. 

‘Sub’ I mentally clarified. “I need to meet them first, a day or so before this showing.”

“A slave is a slave.” he snorted, “Surely you can not be serious?! Weren’t you in the porn industry?” 

“I was not,” I held in a growl. “And yes I am serious.” I pronounced each syllable with annoyance. If I had not thought of showing Dakota a proper scene- I would have disregarded the bastard at his greeting. 

We debated the times, the place of the prior meeting and so on until I was comfortable with the arrangement. I would meet Aida without Selthin later today. I hoped Dakota would be able to join me. I hoped he would be willing to see this from start to finish. I also hoped that Selthin would keep his distance; he was a dominate for a strong willed sub. One Dakota was not.


	5. pgs 84-92

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, confession time. I'm getting to the point where I don't have much more pre-written. I have one and a half more chapters-ish if I stay on the shorter end of the updates. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.   
> Not that I'm running low on ideas- but now I can customize this alil' for viewing pleasure.
> 
> Let me know, I won't judge.

After Derek reassured me that Dakota was physically fine, I found Dakota wandering along the flowers of Bella’s garden. Two o’clock was approaching quickly, I had yet to ask him about coming.

I paced next to him as he proved to be curious, at least. I explained carefully that I thought this could help him. Anytime anything was too intense he could just walk away. He agreed. 

Ryan dropped us at the door of Zeus’ Quarters within the hour. I ushered Dakota in, finding Ren seated at the greeting desk. 

“Oh my god, It’s like night and day.” he gasped with a smile, “Your hair is so different too.” Ren stood, taking in the sight of Dakota.

Dakota had no idea how to respond. 

“We’re just here to interview someone.” I explained, earning Ren’s attention.

“Acting or spectating?” his brow quirked.

“Dakota will be spectating,” I assured.

“Good, good.” he breathed, “You know, you really had us worried last time, cutie.” Ren palmed Dakota’s cheek, taking in his golden eyes. “Seeing life in you now is beyond words.”

Dakota stuttered a weak, ‘thank you’. I checked the time before reminding Ren why we were here. 

“Oh, of course, what was the name?” Ren blinked his grey eyes while untucking a book from his breast pocket. 

“Aida Mercer.” I spoke simply, letting my gaze check over the visibly uncomfortable Dakota. 

“Not here yet.” Ren spoke while fishing out a pen. “Why don’t you two settle in the blue room of the Valley hallway?” He nodded to his own words, “I’ll send little Aida that way when he arrives.” Ren briefly glanced up for my nod as he continued to scribble our names and time in his pocketbook.

“What was your last name again, cutie?” Ren questioned suddenly, eyes flickering to Dakota. I nudged him slightly when he appeared lost in his own thoughts.

“Oh… oh um..” Dakota fumbled. “Grenwork, G-r-e-n-w-o-r-k.” 

“And the date?” his eyes shifted to me.

“Thursday the twelfth.” I called behind me. I knew what he was doing- it was what they Should have done when Dakota was here a little over a week ago. Someone dropped the ball, and I was certain Ren got a firm hold of them. 

 

I knew where I was going, leading Dakota with an arm about his waist. The hallway was dimmed, warm scents wafted about us from Ren’s neurotic burning of incense. I considered the practice a few times, but it only takes one candle gone rogue to burn everything. I was less trusting of fire.   
Dakota and I had sat comfortably on the black leather couch of the deep blue painted room. Sweets and hot drinks lined the small kitchenette, other than a few more cloth chairs, the room was shockingly bare of BDSM supplies. The Valley hallway was dedicated to interviews.

Aida had the door half open before remembering to knock. He appeared eccentric: flair red hair, brilliant blue eyes, and a lean body of a fighter. The lean man sat across from us as I greeted him warmly. 

“My name is Damien Vagner, I’m also known as the Dominate: Master Xatan, here at Zeus’ Quarters.” As I introduced myself, I offered a hand.

He took it with an excited grin, “I’m Aida Mercer: the pain in the ass Charley doesn’t want to deal with.”

I laughed at the truth in his words.

“And you are?” Aida inclined his head to Dakota. 

“D...Dakota.” he smiled unsurely.

“A shy one I see…” his eyes turned back to me carrying his unsaid question.

“He’s just learning.” I leaned back on the couch, rolling my shoulder. “So. Tell me what you want that scares someone like Selthin away.” 

“Well.” he teased, visibly admiring my tattoos, not that many were displayed in my red collared shirt. “I want the entire room’s eyes on me.” he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. 

“I want to drive every single one mad with lust. Then. Maybe- I’ll let the ones that impress me have a touch.”

I let a smirk grace my lips, “That would be easy to arrange.” 

“I don’t want all that pre-game crap clogging up the flow, however.” he whined slightly. “By that logic condoms rut up the scene too.” 

“I’ll work with you behind the scenes.” I spoke after considering his words, “The opening could be between you and I.” 

He raised a brow in consideration. “I can be really hard to get to finish.” his voice was silk mockery. I took the mental note.

“And.” I tempered his impatience. “condoms can be how you choose, by putting them on the winners - orally.” A confused yet intrigued expression masked his features. I promised to show him how later one. 

“That would be perfect.” he smiled excitedly, “Some partners are a Pain to get dressed.” I nodded my understanding, gazing briefly at Dakota. He was blushing deeply.’

“What would you like to wear?” I asked while I stood to look over the dormant goodies. 

“I don’t” He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, “I have a tattoo that’s finally healed. I want nothing obscuring it.” 

“Where?” I asked, honestly interested, but with cheeks full of brownies.

“A dragon,” Aida was beaming, “from my shoulder to my ankle.” My eyes widened as I saw just part of the snout nosing up from under his pulled collar. Its vibrant colors screamed that it was as new as he claimed, if not still healing.

“Should I keep mine covered than?” I paced back to the couch, holding a plate of not-good-for-you goodies to Dakota, then to Aida. 

“How many do you have?”

“A lot,” I drawled. “I also have A Lot of piercings: not just my face, ears, and dick.” I earned raised eyebrows from both boys. 

“I really wanna’ see you naked now.” Aida purred, his blue eyes shining. I chuckled to myself, keeping the mental note. 

“I’ll find something.” I promised. 

We continued our chatter until most of the plan had been laid out. I was glad Aida had the personality he did. He was the one Dakota needed to see. Playing as a ‘sub’ does not reflect on the esteem a person has: just so happens to be what they are into. I hoped, beyond all, that Dakota would see that Aida is in control the whole time. I may be “Master,” but I am there to protect Aida as he plays out his fantasy.

The red head bounced out of the room wistfully, purring his excitement the whole way. I closed the door behind him, turning to gaze at the silent Dakota.

“Well, what do you think?” I hummed, seating myself in what was Aida’s chair. Dakota blushed slightly as he fidgeted in his spot.

“He seemed nice.”

I smiled lopsidedly at his vague answer. After a moment of silence, I knew Dakota genuinely did not know how to answer. 

“How about this.” I studied his reaction carefully. “We are dom and sub, correct?” Dakota nodded his answer, nerves speckling his eyes.

“Tell me what kind of scene you want.” I kept my voice gentle. A blush flooded Dakota’s features as he looked away, finding anything else a thousand times more interesting. 

“Do there have to be other people?” his voice was shy, still not meeting my eyes.

“No,” I encouraged, “There are no requirements.” 

“I.” he began, visibly arguing with himself. “I just don’t want it to hurt.”

My breath caught in my throat at his words. He looked genuinely terrified that he was asking too much.

“Of course.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say at the time. So I stood, offering him a hand, “Want to get out of here?” A shy smile graced his lips as he let me pull him up. Ren was sat at the front desk as before, flashing his beautiful smile as we approached.

“Aida seems to be a ball of energy.” his smooth voice warned. 

“May I ask something personal?” I wondered.

“Shoot, if I don’t answer, then, no.” Ren quirked a brow.

“I don’t think I’ve ever asked about how you got your scars?” I hummed carefully. The scars were old and fading. Still, they dominated his features by crossing his throat, wrapping under his chin, and stretching across the lower back of his head. He looked as if he had survived a guillotine. 

“I was really young then.” his features flashed with a memory he clearly did not wish to keep. “Long story: with an even longer story of why I can not speak of it.”

I could only assume he was military.

“Am I allowed to thank you for your service?” 

A lopsided smile answered me. “Unless opening this place counts as a service deserving thanks?” He snorted lightly, the muscles of his lean neck flexing with thought. I silently wondered, but I bid him farewell. Ryan had just pulled up after all.

At home, Dakota was back to wandering the gardens. Bella was meticulously dusting the sitting room, all while eyeing me to get out of her way. Thoughts of Dakota lurked in my mind as I decided to appease her. Dakota’s dirty dream was a painless one.

I could do that.


	6. pgs 92-97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive, I'm sorry.  
> good news: I got my pharmacy license  
> bad news: I'm changing jobs again. (Or is that good news?)  
> Here's a chapter a few have been waiting a little too long for. It may be a bit lighter than some would expect.
> 
> I love comments, even if you just say hi~  
> (or yell, or have recommendations. I don't judge)

“Dakota, sweetheart,” I called from the porch. His golden eyes found me, wide with surprise as if he were a child caught doing… something. “Come here, Sweetie.” I smiled with a wave. He stepped forward quickly. His expression did not hold fear: but it borderlined it closely. 

“What do you think about you and I having our first scene together?” I purred softly, enveloping one of his blushing cheeks in a palm.

“No pain?” he trembled.

“No pain.” I promised. 

He leaned slightly into my touch as I wrapped an arm around his slim waist. We moved gracefully together, gliding up the wooden steps. 

I laid Dakota back on my bed, just lying with him at first. His skin was warm against mine, my fingers carefully caressed his golden locks. Slowly his nerves settled as we were nestled close. 

“Sweetheart.” I purred, lazily massaging circles into his shoulder. A sleepy hum answered me. I shifted slowly, pressing feathery kisses into his nape. I felt his body tense. 

“Roll over.” I hushed, quietly digging through my side table. He moved unsure as he settled on his stomach. I warmed the sweet scented lotion in a palm as I knelt over him. Dakota wiggled un-trustingly beneath my hips. 

I pressed palms up his slim back, being able to count each rib and vertebrae. I bid my time, carefully massaging away his nervous tension. His back had healed remarkably under the careful aid of Derek. Only pale skin remained where he had been marked. Dakota’s golden hair splayed like a halo as his features finally soften.

“You’re beautiful, Dakota.” I smiled, leaning forward to kiss his warm skin. It was almost as if he hadn’t noticed. None of his muscles tensed, his expression stayed peaceful. Slowly I nosed up his neck, pressing a chaste kiss into his hairline behind his ear. I breathed his name as my hand tucked under his cheek.

He nuzzled into my touch with content grown. He rolled lazily, not taking the effort to adjust wherever his limbs fallen. My body was arched over him as my voice murred gentle praises. Fingertips glided over his warm silk skin rhythmically gracing his stomach, side, and chest before returning. Dakota laid perfectly peaceful beneath me. 

I carefully lowered my lips to his, kissing him innocently even when his lips parted for me. I lifted away slightly to gaze down at him, before returning to deepen the kiss. He was sweet and addictive. My hands did not wish to be still while our lips danced- yet I willed them to be. 

Nothing is going to scare Dakota this time.

I placed a quick light kiss on the lower of his lips, lifting myself to let him meet my eyes. Love and trust were in his golden gaze. He appeared to be on the brink of content slumber. My palm smoothed over his breast as I carefully watched his reaction.

A soft groan escaped parted lips as he leaned up into my touch. I welcomed the invitation by rolling his small nub under a thumb, purring kisses under his jaw. The shy sounds he made were sinfully perfect.

My gaze studied him as I lowered my lips to his nipple. He mewled pleasantly as I gently grazed my tooth over the sensitive flesh.

“Dakota.” I spoke breathless. His palm lifted to my sight as he carded his thin fingers through my short hair.

“Why do I feel so…” his voice trailed as he visibly searched for the words. I could see his member straining in his pants. I could not help the selfish grin that grew on my  
expression.

“You’re turned on.” I hushed, continuing to roll his nub between fingers. 

“Is that… this?” he blushed deeply. I cooed softly, talking his nerves back down. 

“You’re safe, Dakota.” 

He easily nestled back into bliss as I continued to press soft kisses into his skin. My breath was warm against his belly as I gazed up at him. My fingertips were barely under the hem of his pants. I searched his face for a sign that I should stop. None came. 

From there I kissed a trail lower, licking and toying with his sanity. His muscles rippled as my lips took him. Tonight he wasn’t over-thinking. Tonight I had finally overcome that wall he had built against affection. 

Even if it was only for tonight- right now- I was going to acquaint him with his body, his senses. He would finally see pleasure. 

Dakota laid exhausted in the bed. I wrapped his naked form warmly- making a full effort to… behave. I had neglected myself and my member was feral in its carnal complaint. I was sat on the far ledge of the bed silently wondering if I could ‘shower’ at this time of night.

I decided to, just to ‘clear my head’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : (before the "YOU LIED TO US" reaction hits) :  
> Dakota is a broken sub. He can not handle the usual roughness one would expect from a story with these kinds of warnings.  
> Damien is a "Trained Dominate" (actual doms would have some concerns) this is more showing how much attention and care actually goes into taking a sub. Even if it means neglecting one's self because the other just isn't okay with/ ready for something.  
> Don't worry, that's why I brought in Aida.


	7. pgs 98-108

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, soon may I add.   
> I kind'a didn't realize that I would be having these two scenes right against each other. Oh well, least I can get all the jeebies out all at once. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome, I'll answer everyone!  
> and hey- if we've made it this far, we have no right to judge each other.

This was the third time Dakota has been at Zeus’ Quarters. This time, I had to admit, was the first time he looked confident. He kept me in his line of sight the entire time thus far. Which is exactly what I hoped would happen.

There was an hour until scene, I had already spoken with Rn on what would be happening. Since Aida wanted to be picky about his partners- warning the spectators early lessened the chance of someone getting aggresive.

Aida sat in the backroom with his thick white robe hanging open. 

“Well, Mercer, have you given thought to a safe word?” I announced my arrival openly. I was dressed formally, my long sleeve collared shirt tucked into well fitting slax. Aida smiled playfully.

“I thought I said I wanted to see you naked?”

“I thought you wanted to be the center of attention?” I teased back.

“I’ve always used ‘script’ as a safe word,” Aida thought aloud, “I may be odd- but I think it fits better than some random color.”

“Script it is.” I nodded, briefly checking the time. “Any last minute smart ass-ness before we begin preparing?”

“Is that goin’ to be your excuse for not being able to make me cum?” He spoke with a knowing smirk.

Well. I did ask for smart ass-ness.

 

Aida dropped his robe in the chair as he stood. His body was slim yet well muscled. The full length serpent dragon tattoo coiled beautifully about his form. The scales were a meticulous pattern of vivid reds, blues, and oranges. He was beyond breathtaking. Aida flashed a knowing smirk as he leisurely flexed his strength. 

“You,” I hissed in mock acquisition, striking an unmarked patch of his thigh with an open palm, “Are going to be a handful.” I accented my words with a firm grip on his hardening member. I earned a slight yelp quickly followed by a playful defiant stare, Aida visibly bit his tongue. 

I smiled approvingly, fixing a lock of red from Aida’s face. “You will have no trouble holding the room’s attention.” I promised his fantasy. “I hope you can handle it.” I pulled lightly on a fist of hair, pumping his growing length.

“That’s why I have you.” Aida purred through a mewl. I stepped forward, pressing the man against the cold of the metal table. 

“Let’s see what kind of men you’d be ready to serve tonight?” I studied his every movement, his every breath, as I began to slide digits into his sensitive hole.

 

The awaiting spectators could be heard outside the doorway. Aida and I were still out of sight. Aida was nude at the day he was born, shy of the thin, necklace grade leash that looped loosely about his neck.

Whistles and hollers welcomed us, Aida was beaming. We walked to the center of the showing. Aida’s mind was being swept away into fantasy. I needed to ground him to the now.

“Hello Gentlemen!” my voice belted above their remarks, “Our dear boy here has teased me with promises long enough.” The group had quieted: Aida’s blue eyes were locked to me. “Shall we see if he can keep his word?” I bartered as I pulled Aida closer by the feeble chain.

“This chain is very expensive,” I purred in his ear. “I do not want it broken.” 

“Understood, Master Xatan.” he replied with an edge of defiance. I turned him roughly to face the crowd. My hands followed his tattoo, only to accent what he felt was his best feature. Not that it needed to be pointed out. I held his member in a fist as I pressed my form against his back, “How bad do you want them?” I murred in his ear.

“Must I answer?” he breathed back, arching against me.

“You have not been taught manners have you?” I let an edge of annoyance grace my voice as a palm slapped against his un-inked flesh. He let a half hearted whimper escape his lips. “Bend over.” I commanded. He bowed low, his fingertips brushing over his toes. I positioned myself behind his bent form. I took him wholly. The initial thrust seemed to take him by surprise from the moan he yelped. The sound alone sent a wave of approval over the spectators. 

I claimed the man roughly as I forced him to arch his back with the pull of a string. He became so focused on doing what he was told, the reserve he put on himself fell just a bit. I climaxed quickly- almost forcibly so. I was not the main center of Aida’s fantasy. However many other men he outlasted were. 

“Ha!” Aida’s voice cracked, “That’s it?” I took my delrin cane to an un-inked patch of thigh. The sting summoned a hiss, followed quickly by his defiant glare. 

“If you’re that needy.” I teases, holding firmly to the leash, “Why don’t you go play with our guests?” I let my voice grow louder for the spectators, “This horny boy says no one can make him cum. Who would like to prove him wrong?”

Aida beamed when a group of younger men fought their way to the front. Their approving remarks were not lost to Aida. 

I allowed him one condom. 

He regarded me with a half hearted pout as he took it in his teeth. Aida crawled forward, visibly considering his current options. He settled in front of a german man, who was lucky if he was twenty five years of age. I used the chain to have Aida gaze up at the man, the man’s already hard member barely an inch from Aida’s parted lips.

“Will you fuck me, Sir?” Aida spoke with a well practiced plead. The man swore under his breath as he gripped Aida’s hair and began to press his way into the back of Aida’s throat. 

I watched closely. Aida wasn’t pulling back- he could breathe. After a series of particularly violent thrusts, however, Aida’s head turned against his fisted hair, his shoulder slouched as if he were pulling away.

“Alright- Alright!” My voice cut. The man released Aida, his attention locked to me. “I know he’s a bit of a prick, but-” I shrugged. My hand was on Aida’s shoulder as he heaved a breath. He lifted a hand and tapped mine twice. Apparently he had recovered quickly. I stepped out of his way, back to playing the specter. 

Aida held up the unwrapped condom- eyes up to his chosen master.

“Fuck me, Sir, please.” Aida bobbed his head like I had taught. The man shivered with a german curse. The man fell quietly to his knees, like a servant to Aida, as he readied himself. Aida moaned loudly- almost artificially- as the man fell for Aida’s spell.

The german didn’t last long. He backed away with shaking legs as Aida looked up at him with a pout written on his lips.

“One.” I mockingly counted, leading Aida up to his knees by the chain. “Anyone else up for a challenge?”

The second had Aida bent forward, his hair caught in a tight fist as he was ravaged. 

The third had the help of a friend to hold Aida’s arms behind his head. He was leaned back against the muscular assistant as his chosen master thrusted frustratingly slowly.

The fourth man had a firm hold on Aida’s ankles as he spread Aida’s fine form before him. He was the quickest to finish yet.

“Perhaps there is something to this boy’s words?” I carefully let Aida’s pride inflate. “Surely there must be someone?” I lifted two condoms to Aida’s lips. “Perhaps the challenge is too simple for you?” I thought aloud as he took them with confidence. 

Aida crawled up to a couple of particularly well endowed men. Their perfect smiles gleamed extra bright against their olive skins. Clearly the two of them had fallen for Aida’s spell. Aida pulled lightly against the chain- asking the two to be his masters.

I recognized the two: they had a tendency to get a little… rough? Is the word? They each promptly demanded Aida to put the condoms on or they threatened to continue without them. Aida was barely able to finish with the second when the first man lifted Aida by the hips. Aida was belly up- his back arched to the floor as the impatient Dom forced himself into Aida. Aida’s moan blended with a scream that sent goosebumps throughout the room. 

The second man lifted Aida by his shoulders and demanded Aida to take the manhood into his throat. Aida’s eyes widened, a choking gag gargled around the insistent cock. Despite the roughness of their movements, Aida gave me no sign to stop them. The two were loud as they aggressively demanded to be taken deeper. Aida’s mouth watered as he gagged sporadically. Still, he had color, and he gave no sign. 

The man holding Aida’s hips was first to finish. He grunted like a boar, pressing hard against Aida, forcing the other man down his throat. As one nearly fell back from exertion, the other quickly took control of Aida’s hips: claiming his prize. Aida’s moans game in short gasps as he was being fucked into the floor. The man cummed loudly: accompanied by the chants of the spectating crowd. 

“Cum Slut!” a voice rang, followed by many others in agreement. Aida’s entire demeanor changed. I stayed silent on my count as Aida crawled back to my feet, without command. 

“Script.” a small voice pleaded- a defeated posture made his muscular frame appear fragile. I slowly knelt before him, lifting his chin to gaze into his face.

“Do you need a break? Or do you want to stop?” my voice was low and even for him, no mockery. 

“I…” the muscles of his throat worked before he managed to squeak, “I need to stop.” Shame was written all over his expression. 

“Come on, Slut!” A slightly intoxicated man whistled, “I’ve got some nice hot cum for yeh!” I gripped Aida’s shoulder as he physically flinched from the remark. 

“Show’s over!” I proclaimed, “The safe work has been called!” Ren moved silently about the edges of the room- house security were already well aware of the few- stupid- rowdy ones.

“Like hell!” another slurred, “I didn’t get my turn!”

“Another showing will start soon,” I warned more than I appeased. When Aida says he’s done, not a single other person will lay a hand on him, so help me god. 

 

Even behind the staging- Aida’s eyes were blank. I spoke reassuring words quietly as a stagehand brought a wheelchair. I had wrapped Aida’s naked form in a thick cotton robe,   
something, anything, to help him feel more secured. I figured being called a “cum slut” had gotten to him. I hoped I hadn’t misread his body language during the last round.

I moved his limbs to the chair with a soft command to relax. This is where Aida’s aftercare begins.

OceanView Hallway was beautiful. The rooms were a perfect balance of plush and warm woods. The scent of lavender from Ren’s incense warmed the air well. I moved Aida to be near the side of the bed. Offhandedly I noticed Dakota was standing along the edges of the room, his eyes wide with worry. 

“Can you stand?” I softly questioned Aida. He nodded once, forcing his legs to take his weight. He trembled slightly- but not enough to have me too worried. “Why did you stop the scene- What went wrong?” I led him to the bed, he seemed to be thankful for the plush that was now about him. 

“I don’t want to be a slut.” Aida spoke purely because master asked something of him. His mind was still in that other room. 

“You had every man in that room wrapped about your little finger.” I smoothed his red hair away from his face: his eyes were a beautiful blue, as if the world’s most precious gem was gazing back at me. 

“As their cumslut.” bitterness seeped into his words.

“A few were drunk, they are the ones that started it. The ones you chose were willing to absolutely anything for you. Hell, you could have easily had anyone of your choice in that room.”

“Only because you stopped them.”

“Hey now.” I tried a smirk, “I only showed up, cock in hand, that was all you.”

“Man,” he whined even though a flash of devil crossed his eyes, “ Not only am I a slut- but I have some pretty low standards.” I feigned hurt as he let a smart chuckle escape. I studied his skin for fresh markings. Only a few shone a shade of pink. 

“Are you hurting anywhere?” I questioned. He grunted as he stretched his arms over his head.

“Blueballs’ a bitch.” Aida groaned, moving only half gracefully to kneel on the bed. “Master,” He made a visible effort to not smirk, “May I cum?”

I breathed once I let his request sink in, “lie back.” I moved over him slowly, leading him down with a palm, “This time I can actually try for you.”

Aida chuckled, “Likely story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the thing.   
> I know there is a little chibi ninja army of a following for this story. I can see you in the hit counts!  
> I really, really want to thank you all for returning so often for this mind cluster of mine. So I'm considering doing a showcasing of the characters. I'll draw out two or three concept designs for you guys- but you need to tell me which character(s) you want to see in order for me to post it.   
> just comment a name as a guest if it's really that awkward.  
> Thank you all again!


	8. pgs 109-114

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, and have a new theory that I am alone in the later chapters.  
> Or you, my ninja army, have no faith in my drawing skills.   
> (I would be hurt if you all didn't have such a good point)
> 
> This chapter's a heavy one if I should say so myself.  
> It's the beginning of the end.  
> (It's also short so don't worry, this isn't a marathon of "wtf.")

Aida could be heard humming a tune to himself as he showered. The steam escaped from the shallow crack under the bathroom door as I was dressing in a fresh suit. Dakota sat in a luxury chair- his mind far away in thought. I took another swig of soda before I decided to take a seat in the other chair on the opposite side of the small table. 

“Did we entertain you?” I felt my expression fall away at Dakota’s lack of awareness. “Dakota” I verbally nudged him. His vision flickered to me as if he had just realized I was there at all. 

“What are you thinking about?” I softened my tone. Dakota only fidgeted a moment more before braving another glance at me.

“Aida was scared.” his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“He was, but I pulled him back.” I explained.

“I thought Aida wanted this?” Dakota seemed to be replaying the scene in his head.

“He did.” I reached for Dakota’s hand, “Pain is still pain. Fear is still fear. Whether or not it is a part of play does not change that fact.”

“Why would someone want that?” Dakota’s confusion strangled his voice- Coldon must have been plaguing his thoughts.

“Because some want to go to the edge- but they trust their doms to pull them back before it goes too far. Doms are there to protect.” My explanation wasn’t good enough for Dakota. I wanted desperately to tell him that Coldon was not normal. He was, god near, criminally insane. Dakota wouldn’t take my word for it- I was sure. He was still trying to rationalize everything. If he could rationalize it- he wasn’t broken. At least that was what he had convinced himself. 

Aida emerged fully dressed. His smile brightened as he winked his greeting for me. “I need to go study for a test.” he announced in a playful whine. “Call me if you ever want to distract me from my studies again, Die-dove.” 

“You have a test? Why didn’t you schedule this later?” I quirked a brow. Aida shrugged his answer as he blow a farewell kiss. 

“Good seeing you again, little Dakota.” Aida bounded from the room with a giggle. Once the door closed- Aida seemed to have taken all the light with him. I sat in a calculating silence as I considered the young man next to me. 

“Sweetheart.” I questioned carefully, “How old are you?” At first he seemed surprised by the question. 

“Twenty two.” he spoke as if he could be in trouble, granted that was a lot younger than I was expecting.

“The first day we met.” I made sure he had his eyes on me, “You said ‘no one’s left.’ What did you mean by that?” Dakota fell silent, his hands wreathing in his lap. I knew he   
was considering my question- so I let him his time.

“My family is going to be so pissed.” Dakota growled at himself. “I dropped school before they could flunk me. I can not face them. Not as the failure that I am.” Dakota deteriorated to tears as he spoke. I had reflexively knelt in front of him- holding him in a tight hug. 

“You are not a failure.” I borderline commanded. “When was the last you spoke to your parents?”

“At least three years.” He panicked. “I know where you’re going with this- I can not face them. Don’t make me!”

“I’m sure they are worried.” I attempted to bargain. “You might as well be a child, Dakota. Don’t give up on yourself yet.” 

“They paid so much for my college- it was a fucking lifetime of savings for them.” Dakota’s voice kept cracking. “I just threw it all away. I failed everything!” Guilt swam in his eyes as heavy tears streamed his cheeks. 

“Why did you struggle?” I fingered Dakota’s hair from sticking to his face. He wanted anything but eye contact, however. 

“I wasn’t disciplined. He said I needed discipline and he would teach it to me.” Dakota’s voice shook as he spoke. I allowed him to escape to pace the room. I was just happy to hear him speaking of what he had hidden away within himself, finally.

“Who said that?” I braved the question- unsure how Dakota would respond going down this rabbit hole. 

“He…” Dakota turned on a heel so his back was to me as he continued to pace. “He called himself Sven.” Dakota spat the name as if it was a venom to himself. “He was an amazing student. He aced everything without even pretending to try. He… he was suppose to show me how.” Dakota’s voice cracked. 

“Did he rape you?” My voice was soft, I stood barely an arm’s length away. I was convinced Dakota’s restless legs were about to collapse. 

“I don’t know.” frustration flashed in his expression before he abruptly turned away to continue his march. “I was so desperate at the time, I did everything he ever commanded- willingly. It never helped though: I just kept falling farther and farther behind.” 

“Sven took advantage of you.” I huffed and took a gentle hold of his bicep, “ Look, I know you were trying to do the right thing.” My nerves got the better of me as I pulled Dakota in for a hug. I knew he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to be still, but he was driving the both of us mad. 

“I let him.” Dakota confessed. “When he graduated, I was lost. Dirty. Empty. Without the discipline necessary to do anything right. I needed Sven.” Dakota trembled as his voice squeaked, ”That was when I found Vladimir.” I was silent and still as he told me everything. At this point I could only serve as an ear. Dakota wanted approval. He wanted nothing more than to do something- anything- right. 

“Dakota,” I braced myself as I questioned on a breath. “Are you even gay?” He hiccupped a defeat as he pushed away from me- fear dominating his reactions. 

“I won’t be mad.” I tried to coo, watching helplessly as Dakota’s nails dug into his palms. 

“I,” He squeaked as he lost control of his voice. After an agonizing moment he forced himself to speak. “I don’t think so.” 

I could see everything Dakota held behind that wall of his. But now that the dam had broken- I didn’t know what to do.

“We really should at least let your family know you’re alive.” I spoke carefully. Dakota had grown silent. He seemed to be attempting to pull all the pieces back together. He kept trying to hide everything so he could be comfortably numb. 

I let him, only because I didn’t know what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, rants of "what are you doing" can start below this line.   
> (Don't worry, I won't judge)  
> _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


	9. pgs 115-121

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie to everyone. I lost interest in this story for a little. BUT I made a rule for myself to finish every story on here before I start working on another. 
> 
> With that- I have big plans formed and I am getting back into it. I don't have an ending perfectly planned out yet- but it's getting slightly closer every day.
> 
> (I have so many other ideas, prepare for a lot of updates for this one. POWER THROUGH!)

I pulled into the garage, clicking for the door to close behind us before I turned off my Shelby. 

Dakota had escaped into the house before I even stepped a foot out. 

“There’s my Superman!” Bella’s voice carried lightly. She didn’t release Dakota from the captive hug until I came into view. “Well, how was the play-date?” She smiled playfully winking towards me.

“I think Aida enjoyed it.” I appeased her momentarily, “Dakota had some questions though. We’ll be upstairs for a while.”

“Questions?” she raised a brow. “I just changed your sheets! If you do anything, you WILL be sleeping in it!” 

“Just questions,” I reassured her, leading Dakota away by his wrist. 

 

“I frankly don’t feel like talking.” Dakota’s voice was uncharacteristically dry. I nodded.

“Bella would have never left you alone.” I explained. Dakota grunted what I think was a ‘thanks’. He surprised me by sinking into a leather chair of my art studio. His eyes were fixed across the room, but I figured he didn’t actually see any of my weak excuse for pieces.

I was scrolling through my phone as Dakota continued to coexist in silence. I had to stifle a victorious grin, “Dakota Grenwork of Chartion” had an open facebook account: complete with pictures up to three years ago and an extensive list of family. 

I clicked on the profile he had listed as “mom” and typed out the least creepy message I could muster. 

“Hello Martha,” Yeah, already sounding creepy. “ My name is Damien Vagner. I’m a friend of Dakota. He recently told me he had not spoken with you in years. I thought you should know he is safe and well. He just hit a little bit of a rough patch.”

I read it over a thousand times. No matter what I did. It was going to sound like I had him tied up in my basement. I held a breath as I watched the bubble load telling me it had sent. 

I glanced back up toward Dakota, blissfully unaware of what I had just done. I wasn’t expecting a reply so soon. When the notification bubble appeared I was honestly surprised. 

“We don’t have money to send.” 

I chewed my inner lip, she must have been thinking I was some scammer. How many times had she had messages claiming to be Dakota in peril for this to be the first think she sends? 

“I assure you, I didn’t contact you for money. Dakota doesn’t know I messaged you yet- but he’s right in front of me.” I clicked send, my mind searching for a way to get a picture of Dakota that didn’t make him so damn miserable. 

“Do you know what happened to him?” Her message popped up- but the typing notice stayed until a second message formed, “He left for school and was never heard from again.” 

I continued to chew my lip. 

“I know he had a hard time in class, he’s afraid to tell you.” 

Her reply blipped a few times as she seemed to be unable to decide on what to say. “We love him. Please, convince him to call us.” Her phone number popped up soon after. “Thank you.” she wrote before her account went inactive.

 

After a reflective silence, I spoke up when Dakota stood. “Your family loves you.” His golden eyes burned into me. Silently demanding to know what I had done.

“I want to be worth something when I face them again.” His voice was bitter with hate for himself. From there he left- ignoring my call to him.

Realization hit me like cold water. Dakota didn’t need a Dom and a fuck. He needs a boss and a job. My fixation and narrow mind had kept me blind this whole time. I made a bold mental note to call Emma first thing in the morning. 

 

Six in the morning: Emma should be walking into her office. Knowing her- she has been there for fifteen minutes already. I cracked Dakota’s door as I passed, just to be sure he was still breathing. 

I typed out Mrs. Stein’s number as I glided down stairs. She answered almost immediately. 

“Common Counsel Research, Director Emma Stein speaking.” 

“Emma, it’s Damien Vagner.” I answered on a shaky breath. 

“Hey, I was just thinking about you! How is everyone doing?” Her voice lighted to the tone I wa accustomed to hearing.

“I have a question slash favor to ask.” I braved.

“What can I do?” she sounded more confident. Well- she is the mother of CCR for a reason.

“Do we have a position open for a lab aid?”

She grew silent as she thought. The fact she had to think about it told me we were fully staffed. 

“Who were you thinking?” She shifted the phone.

“His name is Dakota Grenwork.” I spoke carefully. “He’s my roommate, he’s hit a rough patch but I think work would do him good.”

“How old?” she began.

“Twenty two.” I nodded to myself.

“Any experience?”

“I don’t know.”

“Any school?”

“Some”

“In what?”

Don’t know

“Did he pass?”

He didn’t… fail?

“Do you know what kind of skills he has?”

“He can read and write for sure.” 

“You are not helping either of us.” She chuckled to herself, I heard her pen drop in frustration. 

“That I do know.” I worried my lip.

“Can he come in tomorrow? Noon. You know the dress code.” she signed to herself. “And will you be returning as well?”

“Yes, and yes. I don’t think I can thank you enough, Emma! Seriously I-” despite me talking quickly she interrupted me.

“Don’t thank me until you see the pile of work you have acquired, Vagner. I only do this so you don’t quit on me.” I could hear her smile. 

“Consider it done. Seriously, thank you.” I paced excitedly as I hung up- breaking out some half correct extremely dating dance move. Ryan quirked a brow as I realized he was sitting by the counter of the kitchen.


	10. pgs 121-129

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally didn't forget about this story. Just got distracted by other pretty stories. 
> 
> I'm not done with Dakota or Damien yet.

“I just got Dakota a job!” I sang as I rounded the island towards the coffee pot. 

“Does the said Dakota know of this?” he continued to eye my excitement.

“No… Well, not yet.” my demeanor shifted slightly as I considered the pending conversations. Ryan silenced as he returned to his steaming mug. Obviously, he thought it better to leave me to my own devices. Last time he stepped in my amazing idea only got more amazing. I don’t believe the others saw it that way however. 

I bumped square into Mary as I was digging through the cabinets for sugar. Her hair was pulled up as usual, dressed in a beautiful, blue sundress that graced her knees. She didn’t seem to take my compliments as the guile I hoped she would. 

“I just straightened those.” she sighed her frustration, but let me live. 

“Sugar?” I chirped like a child in a cookie-jar, replacing everything I had fumbled through. Mary glided to the high cabinet near the coffee pot, opening it it and pointing with a thin, worn finger.

“Next to the coffee.” Her explanation was curt.

Oh, that would make sense.

The beautiful Mary began to cook as I recharged on caffeine. Alex soon arrived for his Sunday shift. The bouncing bundle took his spot right next to our resident grandmother. Bella joined us as Mary asked Alex to fetch Dakota from his room. Breakfast was ready.

Dakota looked as disheveled as I expected.  
His eyes were puffy from crying, still adorned in his mismatched pajamas with an added blanket for extra warmth. We all hummed our “Good morning.” Dakota responded with a grunt.

“Any plans for tomorrow?” I asked a bit too eagerly. Dakota narrowed his golden eyes to me- standing as a statue, afraid of what I had done.

“I got you an in at my work.” I decided to not wade him into the news, a smile nearly cracked my cheeks in half. Surprize flushed away his color. That was definitely not what he expected.

“You… you did what?” his voice was barely over a whisper.

“Yeah, we need to get you there by noon. Don’t worry- it’s just a lab aid. You’ll catch on really quick.” I fork murdered a teasing piece of bacon. “If you want the job, of  
course.”

He stood in shock. I finished a slice of toast before I began to wonder if I had to physically rescue him from his stumptor.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” he finally broke his silence. I smirked.

“Admit you’re not worthless, and call your mother.”

Dakota narrowed his eyes on me with a furry I didn’t previously think the boy could muster. A blush from frustration colored his cheeks and ears. 

“Can I get my first paycheck before that?” I considered his offer before relenting. If it really made him feel that much better about it. 

 

Bella woke me at seven the next morning. Reflexively I groaned for five more minutes. She didn’t say anymore: she just set a hot cup of coffee on my dresser… Across the room… Far out of my reach.

It mocked me as I laid there staring at it. My two greatest loves. Coffee and sleep. I could only keep one. 

The carnal drive fueled by a ingrained caffeine addiction was too great. I sat up.

I was nursing the liquid heaven when I saw that Bella had gotten Dakota up as well. His hair appeared to have been cowlicked. Though, I was pretty sure mine looked the same way. 

“What am I wearing?” he yawned. I took that as a sign he was okay with the idea of working. 

“I had it hanging on the back of your door.” I smiled through my coffee. 

 

I walked Dakota to the trainstation, he was offly quiet for someone whom was walking into the first day of a job he knows little about. 

We took a seat on the upper level of the train, choosing a seat to get a good view of the landscape. 

“Don’t people normally go into the city for work?” he questioned as we skirted the edges of a skyscraper tapistry.

“If the lab were to go up- we don’t need to be in the middle of almost a million people.” I shrugged at the thought earning a prompt “What the fuck?” and glare from the blond. I had to laugh.

“Don’t worry, it’s safer than a flour mill.”

“That sets the standards pretty fuckin’ low!” Dakota squeaked his his disapproval. I continued to chuckle- so he does know a few things.  
Taking Dakota to Emma’s office felt a lot more like a hostage exchange than necessary. She planted a book I legitimately thought was a novel in my palms, and whisked Dakota  
away before I could protest.

Most of my day was spent reading though the prompts and proposals. I tried desperately to wrap my mind around the logic or method the writers were implying. Most of which was outlandishly unreasonable or simply inapplicable to anything outside a perfect lab setting. Which in itself was nearly impossible to set up- even in a dedicated lab setting.  
Many if not all were probably the brainchild of some arts degree philosophy major ‘everything’s perfect’ but ‘I need my prescription for medical marijuana’. Seriously, how am I supposed to turn car emissions into the ozone layer that is being diminished. Oxygen 3 is a heavy bit- even if I did magically form it, how do they expect it to float on something that it is clearly heavier than?

My brain was mush by day’s end. I waited by the front doors, fiddling with my phone, while Dakota must have been finishing up. Time dragged as I pretended to still have important messages to respond to. A thought came to me, and I began to text Derek. 

“If Dakota’s showing signs of depression- do I bring him to you or a psych?” the message sent, was seen almost immediately after. From the lack of response, however, I assumed he was in the middle of something. He pretty much ran a hospital- nurses and patients alike were messaging him all the time. I was honestly surprised how quickly he could draw his phone- imagine if he was an old style cowboy.

A few minutes later, my phone pinged at me. “If he wasn’t showing distress- I would advise you to take him to a psych.” True enough, I shrugged- slightly chastising myself for bothering him with such a question.

“If it stays, I can get him something.” He messages after another moment. I’ve seen him in person doing this before. Literally hiding under the receptionist’s desk to get a few texts out. The fact that the woman thought nothing of it and continued to work with the albino man crouched at her feet spoke volumes.

Dakota was silent as he walked up. I smiled in greeting, but that fell away quickly as I spotted the bruise that was forming a the corner of his mouth. Dakota tried to look away, but my fingers caught his chin. 

“I.” He croaked. “I hit a cabinet door.” He lied. 

“What happen?” my dom voice growled just above a whisper. 

“Cabinet door.” he stuck to his story. I released his, to not gain any more attention from the curious around us.

 

He seemed to be in a daze of his own thoughts on the train back. Sure, he’s a quiet guy- but he’s normally observant. He hasn’t even focused his sight once. 

His hands were limp in his lap, the faint hue of blue still stained on the bed of his nails. Fluidly, I tucked is fragile fingers into my hold, brushing his sleeve up with a gentle hand. Red strain marks wrapped his thin wrist. A spike grew in my chest as I observed the still unaware blond. 

I spoke his name through grit teeth. He noticed me all at once, pulling his hand to his chest. 

“Gloves,” he spoke too quickly, “the gloves were too tight.” He lied again. 

“Dakota, talk to me.” I edged a command. He continued to coil into himself, finding the window fascinating all of the sudden. We sat in silence for a while. He braved a few glances at me- I was not relenting. 

“I won’t be a screw up again.” He bleated. “You risked yourself to get me there.” A part of me wanted it to be just gloves, just a cabinet. God knows Dakota beats himself up over the smallest of things. 

“Just gloves?” I echoed. He nodded, nervously looking back to the window. 

 

I welcomed home wholeheartedly. Even if it was offly quiet. I found Mary and Alex in the parlor- bickering over a game of chess. 

“Dinner’s in the oven!” Mary’s eyes never left the checkered battlefield, but she pointed an accusing finger at me. I quickly raised my hands in surrender.

“Do you know where Ryan or Bella is?” I questioned carefully- looking for any reason for my intrusion. 

“Both in Ryan’s room.” She waved me away, moving a knight with her other hand. I had to grin. 

 

Silently digging through my wallet, I kicked Ryan’s door a few times. Promptly the disgruntled couple toppled over. I heard Ryan curse, the sound of fabric being adjusted quickly.  
After a few panicked seconds, Ryan cracked the door open. He was half dressed, but still flushed pink from lust. I raised a silver wrapped condom to his sight. He huffed angrily. His words were lost to accent as he slammed the door on my offer. 

I couldn’t help myself- totally had to. 

 

I was nosing about the kitchen to find a pre-dinner snack. The roast in the oven smelt like heaven, only fueling my hunt. My phone went off right when my teeth sank into an amazingly sinful coffee cake. Stein’s number flashed on the screen.

“Damien Vagner speaking.” I cleared my throat of sugar as I heard Emma’s unsure breath. “What up?” I braced.


	11. pgs 129-134

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the cliffhanger of the previous chapter. That was very cruel of me.
> 
> I've been gone too long. Imma just shut up and go back in the corner of shame now.

“Damien Vagner speaking.” I cleared my throat of sugar as I heard Emma’s unsure breath. “What up?” I braced.

“How do you want to proceed with this?” she wa hoarse from worry, “Surely, Dakota has spoken with you.” 

“What?” my voice cracked, no… He hasn’t said a word. “What happen?” 

Emma took a breath as she seemed to steady herself. “There’s… footage on a security camera of … of Grenwork and Singer. “ She silenced for a moment as she reeled in her nerves. “There is no audio, but… It doesn’t appear… consensual.” Her voice ran dry as my mind raced. 

“He was raped?” I unintentionally snapped, no..no-no-no. “NO, not consensual! Last time he was-... he... “ My voice must have died with my thoughts. I faintly remember the sound of my phone falling to the floor. My legs sprinted through the house, not really thinking through where I was heading. I was too wrapped up in calling for the blonde. Bella was nearly ran over my by surging frame as I rounded the main foyer. 

“Find Dakota.” My command boomed in the open air. I didn’t know if it was to her and Ryan, or if it was a demand on myself. The house burst to life as every other residence was racing through every corner. 

His room was empty, his bathroom empty, the closets were empty, my room, my bathroom, my closet, the guests rooms, the whole upstairs was vacant of everyone except for my rabid panic. Not upstairs, I tried to convince myself, must be down. Must be okay. 

It took every ounce of the fleeting restraint I had on myself to not jump the banister to the first floor. I saw the tail end of Ryan bursting through the front door, Bella quickly explained that Dakota wasn’t in the house at all. 

I followed the irishman out into the flowery landscaping. My sight darted to details I never even knew existed before hand. Still, I cursed, if Dakota was out here, he wasn’t standing. The flower beds stood easily four feet tall in the center with rings of labyrinth and now frustratingly unhelpful details. Bella’s garden was beautiful, but FUCK I wanted to take the mower to it right here and now.

I was certain my heart was going to burst from my chest, my sight even was growing tunneled from the strain I was pressing my body through. 

“Damien!” Ryan’s voice carried like a beacon from the back patch of oak trees. He continued to talk, no, scream at I was assuming to be Dakota. I couldn’t make out his words, but I also never knew I could bolt so quickly. The line of perfectly manicured roses that stood in my way were trampled under my feet as I flung myself through them. Their thorns caught my clothes and skin, hell, it didn’t matter.

My lungs were burning as I collapse ungracefully in front of the two hysteric men. Dakota was a sobbing mess on the grass at the base of a tree. Ryan’s voice was harsh with panic as he waved a pill bottle in a white knuckled clench. 

“Give.” I huffed, lifting a still trembling hand to Ryan. He spat another curse, lost in thick Irish. After another demand, he gave Dakota a glare as he dropped the vile into my palm. 

“Go.” I spoke a lot weaker now, most of my energy spent. I had to defuse his good intentions. Dakota was deteriorating right under my eyes.

The vile was heavy in my hand, it was still full. A cautious relief washed over me. 

“Dakota” I purred through a heaved breath. My body was calming down- my head was buzzing from adrenaline, but at least my chest is no longer on fire. I did my best to soften my expression as I focused on the blonde. 

“Did you take any?” 

“No,” his voice was pinched, he held his knees under his chin, “ I did not. I swear.” 

“You lied to me twice so far today,” I reminded darkly. The vile was tucked away into my suit pocket, I had shifted to my knees to lean closer to my little sub. 

“I did not.” he almost bit out. He still refused to look directly at me. 

“I know what happen.” I coaxed, “You could have- you should have- told me.” 

“But… but, but- I’ve… I would’ve lost the job!” he panicked, his red,swollen, golden eyes finally locking to my face. 

“You would have lost way more than a JOB with your method.” I growled, damn it- I didn’t mean to growl. 

“I don’t know.” he mumbled, sinking back behind his knees. 

“Let’s go inside.” I whispered, “Mary’s made a good meal, hell. I’ll get you a good strong drink.”

“You’re going to make me go to the hospital.” I couldn’t really tell if it was a question or an accusation. 

“You did NOT take the medication, right?” I clarified. Dakota reassured me wholeheartedly. 

“Did you do anything else that could put you in danger?” I didn’t lighten my gaze when I saw him wreathing beneath it. I needed the truth.

“No, I… I just came out here and… did… a lot of thinking.” he admitted through stutters. I forgave the stuttering due to the fact he was scared shitless. Every other dom he had would be beating the hell out of him… This may have been the first time I ever considered it. 

I was helping Dakota walk, his thin form pressed against my side as we made our way to the kitchen. I left him to the wrath of Bella as I gathered the things I had lent to the mercy of gravity. The cake was a smeared mushed boot print from someone- probably me- racing across the tile. My phone didn’t look any better honestly. The screen cracked like a spider web. 

Somehow, the call was still going.

“Hello?” I tested the probably busted speaker.

“Oh my god, Vagner!?” Emma’s voice was rushed in panic. “Everyone okay? What the fuck just happen?!” 

“He’s okay, Dakota’s okay.” I didn’t know if I was convincing her, or myself. 

“May I speak with him?”

I mulled her question before nodding, completely forgetting to actually answer. Dakota’s eyes were wide in fear as he shakily took the phone.

“H… hello?” His voice cracked. He was silent as Emma spoke. Only a few agreements and grunts came from this side of the conversation. 

Emotions washed over his face, blurring into one another: fear, shock, and finally one the ever so closely borderlines relief. After a moment more, he ended the call. He winced as the screen crumbled under his light grip while he handed the phone back to me. 

“She’s going to send a schedule for next week. I’ll be working under you.” he swallowed, desperate for the dryness of his throat to go away. “She… she also wants me to write my statement as evidence against that man.” His eyes weren’t focused, I could almost feel the headache that was splitting his skull.

“Stein is a good person. She’ll make sure Singer doesn’t get away with this.” I took his shoulder in a grip, ready to support his side again. “Wanna’ lay down until diner is ready?” 

“Honestly…. Am I bringing this upon myself?” His question sucked all the air from the room. “Am I doing something wrong and asking for it?”

I pulled him flush against my chest, holding him in a crushing hug. Before I could even register- Bella and Mary had us in their own vice holds. The four of us couldn’t breathe- but wouldn’t have this family hug any other way.

“Don’t ever think it’s your fault, Superman.” Bella chastised, nuzzling in closer into Dakota’s nape. Dakota’s form only shook, purely held up by us. His tears were falling unchecked. That was okay, it’s what he needed- if he wasn’t upset… another… episode might happen. 

Ryan attempted to break our trance by clearing his throat. Bella only lifted one arm to allow an opening for the lanky man. He didn’t take the invitation.

“I… um. Thought I smelled burning, coming from the oven.” His voice was slightly shy, a stain of guilt tinted his cheeks. 

“WHAT?” Mary squeaked, breaking abruptly away and rushing for her roast. Bella regained her balance, having been forced away from the snuggle fest. I held firmly against Dakota despite my cheek now brandishing red streaks from Mary’s accidental claws. 

“L-look I know I’z was actin’ the maggot and all. But.. Damnit’ Muppet, don’t do that shit’e again or I’ll batter yeh’ myself.” Ryan’s words rambled and I was pretty sure most of it was lost to the residential “Muppet”.

“That is Ryan speak for I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry, too.” Dakota mumbled. With that Ryan spread his arms for a hug.

“I’m jist’ so fuckin’ glad you’re a’right, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did do a thing in my absence, however!
> 
> Check out my PATREON!   
> okay, okay, okay: hear me out  
> Most of my things on patreon you DO NOT have to pay for. Even the things you do it's one dollar a month.   
> I will still be posting here: think of it as my non-cannon, fanfic dabbling platform here, and everything that actually has a beta and has been "better thought out" will be on my patreon. Along with other doodles, videos, or just plain shorties.(patreon has no 18+ rated things at the moment, I swear there is a strategy to that.)   
> All I ask it to leave a comment on my Patreon so I know you are there! 
> 
> Thank you for reading my little Ninjas!
> 
> vvvv Patreon link vvvv
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/KisakiRose


	12. pgs 134-139

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've finally figured out an ending to this story that I'm happy with.
> 
> I hope you all will be too.
> 
> (no this is not the last chapter)

A full fledged lazy day was far over due. So, the next morning, that was exactly what we had dedicated the day for. I hadn’t even changed out of my pajamas by noon. The group of us were huddled together on the couch of the fire warmed living room. Bella and Mary were getting a little too into the soap opera we had the misfortune to come across. The two constantly cooed at the television that “She was too good for him.” Any little rebuttal either Ryan or I had made was promptly swatted away. This was their show- god help all of us. 

Dakota nudged me, a thought clearly at the tip of his tongue. 

“What’s up?” I coaxed, tucking my chilling toes under his warm thighs. He seemed to ignore the jester.

“Are you going to… I don’t know.” He trailed, he was hyper aware of the pinning stare the two women had him under.

“It doesn’t have something to do with this magnificent showing, does it?” I tried to appease the skeptical beasts. 

“No, nothing like that.” He sputtered. My mind began to wander. Then began to race. Was there something I could do? Wait… Did I promise him something that I completely forgot about? A pit of panic set in my stomach as he played with his lip.

“What can I do, Sweetie?” I braved the question.

“Are you- Can you talk to Ren?” Dakota’s worry stained, golden eyes locked to mine.

That I didn’t expect.

“Of course, I can.” I couldn’t catch my brow before it raised. “Is there something you want me to tell him?” Why would Zeus’ Quarters be on his mind?

“That man.” His voice suddenly sounded strangled, “He claimed he saw me perform. He accused me of liking that… that sort of thing.” Bella had wrapped her thin arms around the equally thin boy before I could.

“He saw you at the club?” I thought allowed. Singer wasn’t a name I recognized. Hell, I don’t know the guy and I’ve been in that club for ten years now.

“If he did that to me, could he have done it so someone else as well?” There was a hint of strength in his voice, I hated that it was over run with guilt.

I pawed at my pockets, searching for my phone, as I promised to call Ren right away. Then I awkwardly remembered that my phone was upstairs… very dead from this adventure. Bella waved like a flightless bird before digging around her bra. Before anyone male could question how far this was going she procured her phone. 

“Just don’t mind the boob sweat.” She smirked playfully at my general realization of why she didn’t carry a purse.  
I made it to the kitchen before fully remembering Ren’s cell number. I could have called the club itself- but it’s a pain to convince the secretary that “Yes, I actually need to talk to Ren. No, you can not take this as a message.” The said man promptly answered- before the second ring- with a welcoming chirp of a greeting.

“We potentially have a big problem.” I instantly regretted ruining his mood like this. The line was silent for a moment as the background music faded quickly. Perhaps he was viewing a performance? 

“Okay,” Ren cleared his throat, “What’s going on?” I explained what had happen. There was someone that went to the club with a loose grip on fantasy. 

“I’ll have to look through the records. ‘Singer’ isn’t as uncommon as we need.” His voice was an octave lower than it’s usual pitch. He also echoed- I was sure he had switched me to a speaker. 

“I know you have the guest list from that night?” I bargained.

“That wasn’t Grenwork’s only show.” Ren growled to himself. “Last time was when Coldon went too far.” My mouth went dry. 

“I need to dig through some records. Please tell me this bastard is in handcuffs.” Ren’s typing sounded like rain from over the speaker. 

“Emma called me earlier, he was arrested when he walked into work this morning.” Even though I managed to pull the thoughts together to answer him, my mind was still trying to wrap around the fact of Coldon and Dakota. 

“Good, let him rot.” Ren snarled, ending the call- probably without a second thought. I wouldn’t put it past him to call every performer he’s ever hosted. All just to be sure no victim goes unaided. 

I paced back into the living room, only mildly begrudging the ladies when I briefly blocked the television. I wedged myself back into my poorly under-allocated space on the couch, finding my feet tucked under Mary’s leg this time. 

“Was he mad?” Dakota’s voice was small. 

“Not at all, Sweetie.” I stretched my arm over him on the head of the couch before letting it slide down across his and Bella's shoulders. I considered pressing a kiss into his golden hair... I do it to Bella? Would it be toeing a line he wasn't comfortable with? His broken spirit deserved twice the love all of us could ever muster for him, and it was growing beyond frustrating.

“Did he yell at you?”

“No, Sweetie. He’s just worried that more people could have been hurt.” I leaned a bit closer to his shoulder, his warmth radiating through the thin long-sleeved shirt he had on. 

“Am I a terrible person for kind’a hoping it wasn’t just me?” his voice was barely audible. My arm snaked about him, pulling him in until his head was tucked under my chin, “You are not a terrible person. I could never see you as a bad person.”

I held him tighter against my chest, keeping his head tucked under me, hoping he couldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

 

Time dragged, but he was getting better. Derek had learned of what had happen though his brother. I had nearly sixty panicked texts from the albino man when I finally got my new phone. I waited till I got to my Shelby before I searched up Derek’s number. 

“We’re all okay.” I reported as soon as he answered the call. 

“Fucking Hell, Vagner. Took you a week to tell me?!” he snapped, a dog like growl resonating with his voice.  
“Stupid phone was broken in the scuffle.” I shrugged- ignoring the fact that I totally could have used Bella’s phone like when I called Ren. ”We’re all okay though.”

“I don’t care if you have to mug a baby to do it, but Fucking Call Me-!” A siren blared on his background, cutting his rant short. The call ended abruptly. He must be needed back in work. 

I caught Dakota lost in thought as he sat in my recently revived art studio. A sketch, albeit messy, laid on the desk he was resting his head on. 

“Did you study art in college?” I voiced as an excuse to be nosey over his scribbles. 

“Kind’a wanted to, but there’s no jobs.” He spoke half asleep- as if this was a conversation he’s had hundreds of times. 

“Of course, there’s work.” I stood over him, watching his deceptively sleepy face. “You think all these fabulous tat’s of mine are birthmarks?”

“There’s no work for a low class, like me.” He snorted, pushing himself to his feet. “I can not risk ruining the only chance I’ve got on some fantasy job.” His voice grew flustered- as if this was something so blatantly obvious, that I was a moron to even consider something different.

“Can’t risk ruining the only chance you’ve got?” I echoed. “Where was this Dakota a week ago?” He grunted his defeat before drawing silent. The gears were turning in his head again- thoughts clearly on the tip of his tongue. He was mute for a few moments before I decided to pretend to look over some of my old, crappy, drawings. Honestly, I wondered if he would be able to muster the courage to speak. 

“Can I.” his voice cut artificially short before he could gather his thoughts. I didn’t move as he took a steadying breath. “Can I ask you something… as my Dom?” I struggled to hold the shocked noise in my throat.

“Anything.” my voice growled with a certain swell of pride. Dakota fidgeted briefly, clearly reconsidering his words.

 

“Can I… May I be Dom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be starting a new story soon!
> 
> "Rescue, Rinse, Repeat"
> 
> It's gonna be a spin on an omega verse, with: moral dilemmas, questionable ethics, where the main character will know just as much as the reader... well.. less than the reader, if you've read omega verse style things before.
> 
> It's gonna be fun- for me atleast. 
> 
> ... i swear im not a sadist...


	13. pgs 140-152

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this is a long chapter. But I couldn't bring myself to break it up.
> 
> buckle up, I hope it's worth sticking with this story for this long.

“Can I… May I be Dom?”

His request should not have stunned me as much as it had. This was almost textbook: someone with little control craves the high of dominance. What kind of dom would Dakota even be? He doesn’t fair well with most things involving contact- and the little we did do was the most vanilla thing I could conjure. Even now as he was asking, he was lacking the very essence required to fill such a roll. 

By his squirming, I must have been silent for far too long. His hands were twisting together, his golden eyes diverted to the other side of the room. 

“I can make a phone call.” I thought aloud. I did know a couple people that weren’t overly finicky about bonding with their dominates first. Aida came to mind, actually. “But, you do realize. In order to dom, you need to experience being a sub.” 

Dakota scoffed at my words. The look he gave me was worth a thousand words of “Do you realize who you are talking to?” He sank back into the chair by the desk, his blatant annoyance rolling off of him in waves, but he managed to stay silent.

“You need proper submissive experience.” I warned lowly. “If you can prove to me you can handle it, I’ll see what I can set up for you.” 

If Dakota wanted to actively work through this, he was going to have to show me he was trying. Maybe this little spark of self motivation was the best thing to happen to him. He would finally have an end goal in mind that he felt he could actually achieve. He likes art- but sees no point in it. He was in college, but doesn’t see himself succeeding. He has a family that loves him, but he thinks he’s a waste of their time. 

Finally something that wasn’t fucking negative. 

“If you are serious about this, I expect you awake, showered, and naked at the foot of my bed. Six in the morning tomorrow.” My voice slipped into one that I normally reserved for commands. Dakota didn’t verbally answer, but he did turn slightly to study me for a moment more. I could see the gears in his head ticking away. I didn’t press any farther. Come tomorrow morning I’ll see what he’s decided to do. 

Five in the morning my alarm went off. With ninja speed the awake me never possessed, my fist came down on the snooze button. Honestly, I wasn’t fully awake- that hazy middle of knowing something just happen, but my dream was beckoning me to settle back down and continue. Then the memory of Dakota drunkenly stumbled it’s way across my thoughts. Right, I did this to myself. 

Slightly more awake, I focused on listening to the dark home around me. The heater was on. Wind was blowing around outside like perhaps a rain was trying to slip by. Across the drowsy hallway, running water. Dakota was in the shower- he must have decided to go through with this. I sat up at the realization, cursing myself the entire way. I know I picked this time so that we wouldn’t be interrupted. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just send the love birds out on a date, though? The house would be empty, and I wouldn’t have to get up at an ungodly hour. 

Self inflicted- I’ll make myself run an extra mile or something later. Yeah… that’ll teach me to be a morning person. 

I slipped into my bathroom to get ready. My excuse of a shower was mostly blasting myself with lukewarm water to wake myself up. I considered running downstairs for a cup of coffee- but I didn’t really want to be running around the house at this hour. My luck, I’ll wake Ryan and he’ll be coming at me with a metal bat or something. Coffee’s not worth a concussion. 

I studied myself in the oversized mirror. My skin was a caramel colour, my eyes and hair were almost the same shade of dark brown. Black ink tattoos twisted their way about almost every inch of my body. I loved them, both as a whole and each individual. The eagle across my chest was the first one I got. His wings spread confidently across my frame, his beak caught in an eternal screech. Tribal markings coated my shoulders and reached halfway up my throat. My left arm was a intricate weave of biomechanical designs twisted between gears and muscle. It all lead down to my favorite tattoo, my only colour tattoo. A white and blue serpent dragon coiled around my forearm. I loved how vibrant and alive he was against the warm tones of my flesh. 

I was meticulously sorting through my jewelry. Everything from hoops, studs, bars, to gauges were semi-organized in smaller compartments. The only question was which ones did I want to wear? 

I teased out how the snake bites felt. They admittedly fit with the spiral gauges that I had set low in my ears. My tongue ran over my pierced lips, testing if it was this bar or another one that always got snagged. After a few clicks of the metal, I assumed either it decided to play nice for now- or it was effectively another bar. I held the titanium ball between my teeth as I considered adding a layer of angel bites to my snakes. Canine bites… would four hoops be too much for Dakota’s first time seeing me all decked out?

Well, many more than four hoops. I had two on my right eyebrow, small half moon in the septum of my nose, and a bar set in the center of the bridge of my nose. All you could actually see of the bridge were the two dark balls edging the tears of my eyes. I had an industrial high on my left ear- my dominance ear, while my other had a line of four little silver hoops edging the limits of the cartilage. 

Even then I didn’t have a piece in every piercing I’ve gotten… I guess it wouldn’t be wrong to call me a decorated man?

I pulled on a fresh pair of underwear, pausing over the dress shirt I had placed here the night before. I was planning on looking formal as ever, give or take a few points with my jewlery. But I had commanded Dakota to be naked. Something in me told me it would not be fair, it wouldn’t sit well with Dakota being the only one that exposed. If I walked out naked, he would immediately think that what I was expecting was going to be way more than he was ready for. I looked my silhouette over in the mirror. I wasn’t exactly the most calming sight in the world to begin with.

My bedroom door clicked closed. Despite still being caught in indecisiveness over what I should wear, it was now or never. I convinced myself I was out of time, took the cool handle of the door in my hand, and turned out the light behind me. 

I never thought that my first scene with Dakota would start with me standing like a nervous teenager at the doorway of my bathroom. Just in my underwear mind you. He was where I told him to be. Obediently facing the headboard of my bed, his thin frame barely lit in the dim morning light. Blond hair messed from being roughly towel dried. Hands cupped defiantly around his front as a last effort to keep some sense of decency. He must have come out of his thoughts, the eerie golden glow of eyes locked to me as I stepped out of the threshold. 

“Good boy.” I purred, gliding about the room, floating between dressers and closets for nothing really in particular. 

Well, one thing. Silk smoothed between my fingers as I teased out any kinks the fabric may be holding from being stored away. I was hoping that Dakota was getting acclimated to me being in the room with him. I wanted him to fully realize what were the implications of what we were going to do, embrasse it. Enjoy it. 

“I want to talk over something.” I was just at the edges of his sight, I held my voice in a tone that he would know I was serious. “Are you going to listen, or will I need to make you hear me?” I circled him, searching his body language. He was very distracted actually. His gaze moved over my body with a blend of awe and shock. He’s seen me naked- well, mostly naked- before; but I guess this was the first time that wasn’t through that haze of Fucking Coldon. 

A selfish pride bloomed in my chest. “Go on, explore while you can.” I couldn’t help the teasing promise as it slipped past my lips. 

Dakota was still for a breath. His pale skin flushed pink as he reluctantly relinquished his last bit of defiance. Curiosity was eating him alive as he stepped closer to me. He seemed to forget himself as his fingers ghosted over my decorated skin. He started with the four rings that hugged the upper and lower of my lips. His eyes narrowed when I gently caught his wrist. He gasped a breath that we probably meant to be an apology. I pinned him under a stilling gaze for another heartbeat. When he released the breath, I lifted his wrist back to my lips. Slowly, I sucked two of his fingers, letting him slide up to nearly his third knuckle. His doe like eyes got impossibly wider as I let the bar teasingly slip between the two digits when I released him.

Dakota’s stutter for breath was perfect. 

He didn’t quite recover, but he dropped his gaze in search of something -anything- to distract himself with. Thumbs tested the small studs that were set through my nipples. His palm smoothed over my eagle. Eyes narrowed when he felt the metal of hoops that were placed just so between each rib. 

“Twelve on each side,” I commented in a huskier voice than I remembered having. “They’re why some people love Shibari on me.”

“You even have ‘Xatan’ written on your ribs.” Dakota spoke almost as if in a daze. 

“It is my name after all.” I smiled at his fascination, “Damien Xatan Vagner.” 

“Thought that was just a stage name.” he countered half heartedly. 

“Will you listen to me?” I stepped a foot between his legs, taking a soft fist of hair at the base of his skull. 

“Yes,” he breathed before he even could think. 

“Good boy,” I praised, before second thoughts could strangle his willingness. 

“What we do here, think of as a game.” I held my voice even and serious. But, god, all I wanted to do was press my lips against Dakota’s. 

“It has a start, a middle, and an end.” I had Dakota’s full attention, as if he was in a trance. “Good.” I couldn’t help myself from purring, “So brave.” My hold stayed solid for him, my free hand ghosting just over his heart. I could feel the tension melting from him. 

“The start is like now. We get ready. We remind each other that we can trust one another. The middle… The middle is whatever we want it to be, for however long or short we decide to do it.” I lifted his chin to study his eyes. They were clear for once. He wasn’t lost in a sub mind that was built to protect him from devils. Dakota was still with me. I needed to know he was hearing me. 

“The end is when one, or we, decide to stop it.” the words “unlike with Marcus” stayed in my throat. Dakota didn’t need the memories now. I searched Dakota’s face for whatever it may hold. 

“I understand, Master.” He god-near moaned. By sheer willpower my knees did not buckle.

“Have you thought of a safe word?” God it was getting harder to keep my voice even.

“No, Master.” I saw the hesitancy in his demeanor. He’s never had a safe word before? Or is it he doesn’t want to use one he had with a previous dom? … Who am I kidding- someone like “Sven” or “Vladimir” wouldn’t abide by a safeword.

“No, it is then.” I finally let my voice grow deep with desire. Dakota gasped at my declaration, his mouth parting perfectly. 

I allowed myself one indulgence by kissing his ever teasing lips. He reacted obediently, but I didn’t drag it on for too long. Just enough for him to feel my intensity. Hoping he  
could understand that my goal was not to hurt him. I’m here to teach him, to help him to a goal he had set for himself. 

I released my holds, letting my palms glide over his skin as I moved behind him.

“Arms behind you,” I commanded, my palms guiding him to the proper position. He moved with a little nervousness. His hands holding himself as when I laid his forearms ontop of eachother. We stayed still for a moment, I was waiting for his nerves to die down enough for him to release himself from the white knuckled clench my fingers were massaging over. 

“I’m going to tie you now. Do you understand?” I laid the silk over his arms, letting him feel it was not a harsh rope or metallic cuffs or god knows what else he’s been subject  
to. Again, I stayed still until I heard his answer. 

“Yes, Master.” 

I whispered praises as I bound him for formality more than restriction. The illusion of capture has the same high. All he needs is the slightest effort- he would pull free. In a panic, something I was expecting, untying him would prove difficult. His struggles alone could do harm if he didn’t trust me enough to help. 

“On your knees.” I commanded from behind. His body shifted to turn, my voice stopped him. “Did I tell you to face me?” I questioned in his ear.

“You did not.” he panted, “I just thought… you wanted me.. To…” he was carefully avoiding what could have been my anger, fearing retaliation for doing something wrong. I  
hushed him softly, promising him he was okay. His breathing evened out, he didn’t look sure if he should still follow the command or wait for a new one.

“Strike one for turning around.” I warned through a lusted grin, “You have four more. Kneel for me.” 

He did. Nothing formal, nothing trained- but still perfectly obedient. 

“Good.” I praised, kneeling behind him. My palms moved over his body, massaging out knots and tense nerves that collected in clusters. I waited for his head to lull slightly under my ministrations before I decided to move on. 

“Relax, let me move you.” 

His muscles tensed in anticipation as he tried to foresee what I was about to do. 

“Relax” I cooed in his ear, taking the base of his skull in a soft hold. “I won’t let you fall.” My breath ghosted over his shoulder as my other palm held his bound arms. 

He squeaked his insecurity, pulling away from me because of a fearful tick. I moved closer to him, so that his back was only a centimeter away from my chest. I hushed warmly in his ear, wrapping an arm about him to hold his chin.

“Strike two, I need you to trust me, Dakota.” my voice wasn’t harsh, or loud. Nothing like the reprimands he had received before. It was clear he wasn’t too sure how to handle it.

“I’m right here.” I kissed into his shoulder. He swallowed against his nerves. When hell didn’t open and swallow him up- he found the courage to relax into my touch. His body grew heavy against my support, even his head against my palm. 

“Good, just like that, Sweetheart.” 

Slowly, I directed his head to lean back against my shoulder. His torso fit perfectly against my chest. Smoothly, I arched him back. I eased myself away from him, keeping his head on my shoulder. A whine escaped his throat as I directed him. The clench of his thighs and the support of my chest were the only things keeping him from falling to the floor. He was hyper aware of that. 

“Just like this.” I praised, trying to soothe his nerves. “Tell me if I hurt you.” I shifted my lower hand against his back, allowing me to better control his weight. 

“I will, Master.” his voice was threads from concentration. 

“Good, good boy.” I purred right in his ear. My body moved so that only my hands would be holding him. The lessened area of contact elicited a groan of panic, his frame trembling before his butt fell to his ankles. 

“That’s strike three.” I commented, returning the extent of my touch. “Trust I won’t let you fall backwards.” My words reminded him, but I couldn’t tell if the pleading purr or the anticipatory growl took over my tone.

I cradled his head, my right palm braced his shoulders while my left lifted the base of his spine. His muscles quaked briefly from effort- goosebumps coated his skin. 

“Just like this.” I commanded, supporting his weight just a moment long for him to pull himself together. My lower palm slid up his back, taking the perfect spot between his shoulder blades. My right hand cupped the base of his skull- letting his head lay limp in my hold. 

“I’ve got you.” I purred the reminder. He was arched with is chest out. His hands were white knuckled fists with his forearms pressed against the middle of his back. His brows were knit together from concentration, a tremble began to present in his legs. 

“Relax, Dakota.” I attempted to coax him, “I need you to trust me.” A pitiful whimper leaked from his lips as I felt his muscles spasm under my fingers. His butt dropped back to his ankles as he attempted to wretch away from me. 

I let him escape, watching his feral breaths rip through him. He seemed to come back to himself, his golden eyes watching me with a fog of fear. 

“I’ll be forgiving, and count this as only one.” Dakota’s golden eyes widened as panic from my words seeped into his veins. “Strike four.” I purposefully moved slow. He was clearly on a mental ledge that I did not want him tumbling from. I raised my hand in a submission, my eyes locked to his. 

“I don’t know… I can’t do this.” Dakota bit out. “It’s so fuckin’ simple… but. I just…” 

“You can do this.” I cut off his spiraling thoughts. “You can, I know you can. I know you want to.” 

“How could you know what I want?!” He snapped, his hands were shaking beyond his control. 

“You haven’t used your safeword.” I pointed out. A rosey blush washed over his cheeks and ears as he realized. He fisted his tattletail fingers and willed his body to be still as he tried to control his heartbeat. Trust is a thing so foreign to him, just believing that I won’t drop him the few inches to the floor was a huge obstacle. If he wants to be a Dom, he needs to know trust.

“We have one more try at this. Will we try again, or are we calling it off?” 

Yes or no.

He visibly argued with himself as he forced his eyes to meet mine. 

“One more time.” his voice was dry. He was still for a moment longer before turning away from me. He knelt obediently, silently. I knew he was beyond nervous- but he was fighting his limbs to be still. I don’t think he took a breath until my touch reached him. 

The first few stages of me arching him, of me taking my share of his weight, he flowed like water. I found myself purring praises as I studied his forcibly placid face. Maybe he finally handed the responsibility over to me, maybe it was only because he has experienced this before. He knew what to expect. 

The less contact, the more panic. “Relax” became a whispered mantra on my lips as I found the just right point for my left hand to take his weight. 

“Let your head fall back.” I commanded gently, a warning of what I was about to do hidden in the plead. I gave the base of his skull a reassuring squeeze before loosening my  
hold, guiding his head down and back as my support melted away. His muscles strained to fight against the weight of gravity.

I tried to calm him by switching seamlessly between praises, commands, and coos. Despite that, he was being sucked into his thought loop. He cried out, pulling against the silk, tossing away from my palm. I had to lurch forward to grasp him in my arms. I almost dropped him, I almost couldn’t keep my end of the promise. 

I clutched him against my chest, the slight panic within me dying down as quickly as it started. He panted in my arms, his eyes glossed over with frustrated tears. I hushed him softly, that mental ledge was back and closer than I would have liked. I’ve got him though, nothing was going to happen to him. I had to prove that to him. 

“I’m sorry, Master.” his voice choked, he took me by surprise- I was expecting his usual silence. “I’m wasting your time.” 

“Strike five.” I spoke almost reflexively, I took a few seconds to quell the rouse of actual anger that sparked. “You are never a waste of time.” I watched him as he sat up on his own, his posture was absolutely defeated. He didn’t believe me. He didn’t understand what he had just done wrong- more than throwing the exercise. Saying he’s a waste of time? Convincing himself of it? 

“Stand for your punishment.” I was a lot more demanding than I had been this whole scene. “Something light,” I had told myself. “He’s skittish.” I had convinced myself. These were the reasons dominates actually felt they needed to punish subs. The line between play and reality was so blurred to Dakota. He needed to be convinced he did something right during play to feel he was worthy during reality? This time. Just once. I’ll give him what he thinks he needs. 

I was on my feet, watching expectantly. He wasn’t handling this well. 

“Punishment?” His voice cracked in terror. I knew that tone, he was a breath away from a panic attack. I had to settle him a few times in the past week. Even more over the course of a few months, actually. 

“No, no, no- “ he stuttered, I was sure he had forgotten the power of that word. “I’m sorry, Master. Forgive me. Please, please, just…. Fucking” 

I moved in front of him, dropping to his level with my knees on either side of his. Both my hands cupped his cheeks, wiping away the tears there. My fingertips began to wander across his scalp, massaging away the tension there. 

“Dakota, Sweetheart. Look at me.” My voice was soft, I was careful to rid of every trace of dominance. “It’s over, you’re okay. You are safe.” 

“Just like that?” he didn’t sound like he believed me. “It’s just over?... you aren’t mad?” 

“I’m not mad.” I convinced myself, my touch began to move down his neck to his knotted shoulders. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“Why? I failed.” his words were hesitant, but he was beginning to melt into my ministrations. 

“You tried so hard. You were so brave.” I pressed a metal laces kiss to his forehead. “I’m so proud that you came here this morning to do this.” He stayed quiet as he clearly was thinking. I hummed into his blond hair, pulling him into a hug. 

“You are beautiful, Sweetheart, you were perfect.” I couldn’t say there wasn’t something I would be mad about. He didn’t need that. I could work with him later on. Right now, he just needs to calm down before his breathing arrests- before that fear settles in his core that is god near impossible to pull him from. As it was, I could feel his heart pounding. 

“What is my punishment?” he braved.

“You called your safe word, Sweetie. I’m not going to do anything to you.” I let him shift to read my face. 

“What were you going to do?” 

I sighed, pulling him tight against my chest- wishing I could take that god-fucking pain away from him. The ghosts of abuse that still haunted the corners of his mind that should have been reserved for only good experiences. I knew I use to be a horrible brat of a sub, only because I looked forward to what my Doms would come up with to ‘punish’ me. Sometimes they seemed to take more pride in creating the discipline than creating the senario. 

“I was going to lift you, so that you didn’t touch the ground. You wouldn’t even have to think, just go limp for me.” I let my arms wrap around his sides to release the remnants of the silk bind. 

“That’s it?” he was thoroughly shocked. I nodded with a half playful smirk. 

“Here’s the deal. I’m going to help you onto the bed. Get you all comfy and situated. Then, I’m going to slip downstairs to fetch us a couple cups of nice hot coffee.” I squeezed his shoulder as encouragement before standing. I held both of his hands in mine as I led him to his feet. He didn’t move though, he didn’t make an effort to follow me to the edge of the bed. 

“Sweetheart?” I questioned quietly, running a thumb over his knuckles. 

“I want you to do it.” he admitted.

“Do what?” I already had an idea, but I wanted him to tell me. I needed him to say it. 

“I want you to… t… punish me.” God, why did those words go straight to my crotch. 

“Okay.” I hushed. “Okay, okay.” I watched his nerves settle slightly. “Just stay where you are.” I moved to his side, my one hand at the base of his spine, the other over his heart. We stayed still as his heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Ready?” I breathed, starting to feel his pounding pulse through both palms.

“Yes, Master.” 

I guided him to lean back. His weight slowly settling into my strength. Dakota was struggling to not resist the pull of gravity. 

“Relax.” I purred, letting him tease out the extent he could bend. Slowly, I lifted him just so his toes barely dangled over the carpet. His full weight solely on my left palm. He let a few whines out, but he managed to tame the nervous twitches and the urges to brace himself against something, anything. His breath trembled as he willed his muscles to go lax, being rewarded with the sure support of my strength. 

“Fuck, you’re strong.” Dakota finally hissed, his tension slowly draining. 

“What kind of Master would I be if I couldn’t handle my precious sub?” Realistically, I was mesmerized by Dakota’s limp, dangling form. He had finally understood why I needed him to do this. 

We stayed like this, silent. The only movement was my right hand’s fingers tracing the stretched lines of Dakota’s muscles. I hummed my approval of his stillness. When he set his intentions to something- it seems like he can do it flawlessly. It's just getting around all of the unseen barriers that takes the toll on his mind. 

I kept my promise to the nearly drunken Dakota by laying him on the bed. He was gone under in a sub mind that left him floating and careless. I smoothed his hair from his face, I had to smile at the content look that graced his expression. He had given up, handed everything over- and it wasn’t going to bite him in the ass this time. Hell or high water, I was going to protect him. 

Shortly I was padding into the room with two fresh cups of caffeine elixir- coffee. Dakota probably wasn’t ready for the drink, but I was. I borderline needed it at this point. I inhaled a mouthful my heaven before setting both cups on the side table. 

I wondered what kind of care he would crave. I wondered if he would know that he could ask for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would be starting a new story soon: I still am.  
> I just know if I don't finish one before starting another- the original will never be finished.  
> Rescue, Rinse, Repeat is in the works- just not publicly yet.
> 
> feel free to comment! I love having names and personalities to associate with the cold numbers this website shows me.


	14. pgs 152-156

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this into one ginormous chapter. But then I figured I didn't actually know when I would be done editing the entirety of the thing. so here. 
> 
> also. I'm gonna say I don't hate Dakota. He's actually one of my more beloved characters- not just because of this story.  
> with that said: between this chapter and the two that follow, Our little Grenwork is gonna need a good stiff drink.

He had the most delicious little high of accomplishment everytime we did a scene. Most the time it would last over a course of a few days- even showing as a new confidence in work. Half the time he had finished tasks before I had even thought to ask him. He was a quick learner and an endless fountain of energy. A deadly combination that I wish I possessed. When he wasn’t bouncing from task to task- he was straying from my side to socialize. At first I was a little… protective. I mean, over the last few months I had every reason to want to shelter the man. But, now he was talking to another human- willingly. I would lie if it didn’t stoke the little ember of pride. Something was going right- I had to have done good for him. 

Mary made a beautiful dinner, as she always does. The group of us all ate more than he should have. Even she had cleared the table into the kitchen sink, then thought “screw it.” Each of us had reclused to our own little nook for a quiet food coma. Personally, I was nursing a mug of -hopefully- decaf coffee while tucked into a ball on the fluffiest chair of the sitting room. Aggressively happy voices buzzed from my phone’s speaker as I -with a stupid grin stuck on my face- passively watched a marathon of youtube videos. I think it was the fourth or so video that I noticed that Dakota had slipped into the edges of the room. He seemed to steel himself, walking surely to the loveseat across from me. His mug of hot chocolate was warming his palms as a reassurance. His throat worked briefly as he finally straightened formally. 

I clicked my phone locked- the voices cutting out after a short delay. Dakota’s expression was schooled, but the intensity of his gaze could scorch the house. 

He was expecting something from me- he was ready for it. The phone was placed on the low table between us, I fixed myself into a proper sitting position before settling my gaze on Dakota. 

“Mr Grenwork.” I smiled, “I do have a few questions for you.” Goosebumps erupted across his skin, the hold on his drink faltered slightly. He only broke eye contact for a moment, he seemed to challenge me with a small smile. 

“Well, I’m already here.”

“You’ve done so well the past few sessions.” I praised lightly- not wanting to make this feel like an interrogation. This was about play, he needed to remember that. “I need to know if you are okay with taking things a little… further.” I had to choose my words carefully. He has come so far already. Every session- every little comand and test- he has pushed himself to the edge of his ability. Each time he trusted me just that much more, he surrendered with a touch less hesitance. 

“Further how?” he was curious- reserved- but curious. 

“I have another question, before I can answer yours.” I kept my voice strong for him. He realized I was waiting for an acknowledgement before I would continue. “Do you want sex to be a part of this?” I let that settle for a moment, looking him over carefully. 

“It does not have to be.” I reminded before he could comment. “ This. Is. Your. Choice.” 

Dakota flinched, clamming up as he thought over his response. I let him. Something like this for someone with his history, he could take all the time he desired. He tucked his legs underneath himself, nervously sipping at the mug that was held in whitening knuckles. He took a stuttering breath. 

“Yes.” he nodded, seemingly to convince himself. “I want to work through.. These… these issues. I know I can trust you.” I had to contain my smile at that.

“I’m still a man, Dakota.” I leaned my elbows on my knees, lowering myself to his shrinking eye level. “I promise I won’t demand more than you are willing to give.” If Dakota was a bird, each of his feathers would be standing on end at that statement.

“I’m attracted to you, IF that is what you are hinting at.” He snorted to himself, taking on a lopsided smile that wouldn’t look out of place on Aida’s face. A low chuckle resonated in my chest, he has changed quite a bit. 

“I was thinking about a scene with Shibari.” I smirked playfully. My smile melted away when I saw the nervousness that crossed his eyes. Dakota was clearly fighting back memories. 

“Have you partaken in Shibari before?” I could tell he had an opinion on the matter by the look on his face. I highly doubted his experience was one that was proper. He visibly braced himself. He knew I was safe to talk to: he had to talk to me if he wanted to move forward with his goal. 

“Sven... “ he bit out the word as if it could communicate everything for me. He took another swig of his drink before setting it down, no longer trusting his grasp. “He would tie me to the railing at the top of the stairwell.” He sniffled, trying to will his voice to work. “Everyone could see me. Every one… If, er... My limbs would go numb. I’d lose feelin’ in my fingers rather quickly. When I was bad... I was bad. He would. Tape me so that.” He let out a pained whine, I had half a mind and all of my heart to hush him, but he was talking- I needed to know this. 

“You’re safe, Dakota, you can tell me.” I murmured, making an effort to talk slowly for his racing mind.

“Tape me bent over the railing…” he spoke rushed, as if he had his voice, but the control was fleeting. “My legs were nearly in the… s-splits. Anyone that passed could… They would.” The last few words were weak. He trembled as he wrapped his arms about himself with a deflating cry. I glided around the table to kneel before him. 

“I will never do that to you.” I cooed, my thumb wiped the tears that were staining his cheeks. “We will use silk,” I slowly explained. “We can start with something that doesn’t restrain you.” Dakota nodded slowly, his expression crumpling. 

He choked a cry, willing his voice to work, “Just, I’m not good at knots. Please, please, Don’t make it hard to get out of.” 

My breath hitched at his confession. My thoughts reeled and stuttered from his confession, the implications of it. 

“Sven didn’t untie you?” My voice hardened without my consent. Rage pulsed my veins, forcing me to stand for a moment, pace for a moment. Calm down Daimen. You need to get your shit’e together. 

“Rules,” Dakota was effectively scared of me. “If I wanted it to end. I had to get myself out.” He winced when I glanced at him- he was speaking out of obedience. “The longer I stayed- the more I wanted. That.. that was the… safe…word?” I drew a ragged breath, I could feel the muscles in my throat working as I counted off in my head. A trick I haven’t needed in forever. 

I made it to twenty seven before he spoke up. “Once I was there for a week… I think it was a week…” At my glare, he quickly continued. “I think Sven released me then… that time? I.. I woke up in the bathtub then.”

One… two… three… four…

My self control snapped. I paced to Dakota, pulling him up into a hug at first. He shuddered, his hands digging into the fabric on the back of my shirt. Smoothly, I lifted him into my arms, pressed tight against my chest as I walked fluidly to my fluffy chair. There we nestled, just close to each other. I needed to feel like I was protecting the man that was curled up in my lap- just as much as he need to feel like he was finally safe. It made me beyond sick to think that the monster was still out there, somewhere. God, I couldn’t have ever imagined how deep Dakota’s scars actually were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated.  
> even if they only say "go to hell"  
> (honestly, I see you ninjas popping in, I swear I will not bite.)


	15. pgs 156-171

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter.   
> well, if felt like a long chapter for me. So the editing is probably filled to the brim with typos.  
> I'll catch what I can, but I'm currently too brain-dead to accomplish anything effective.

We chatted a few more times in the following days. After some careful explanations and multiple promises on both ends, we decided on giving this a try Friday night. It was outlandish to think that he was willing to try my favorite little play. Honestly- I spent way longer preparing my room than I would ever like to admit. 

The bed sheets were changed and I was currently layering blankets like a nest for winter. I reverently chose the silks that I would use. Three colors detailing three different lengths. I folded them over my palms before laying them on the nightstand. I fished out my pocket knife, setting that just above where the fabric was laid out. I intensely eyed the warming oil that was set on my dresser across from the foot of the bed. Ren had finally convinced me to try incense. Granted, the warm lavender was amazing, but my previous stance on not trusting fire still remains. 

Peaceful, I needed this room perfect. I looked over every detail, trying to catch anything I may have missed. A bowl of unwrapped chocolates sat on the opposite nightstand as the silks, right next to a couple water bottles. I wished I could stash something hot to drink within reach, but, realistically, it would easily be an hour or two before we would even reach for it. 

The thought that someone used the title of “Shibari” to hurt Dakota like they had made me beyond sick. I really wished I could rewrite that memory for him. There was a completely different side to it that I believed Dakota would like. Maybe it would even help him. Sure, some people got really aggressive in their play, but it’s just that- play.

Tackle football, fuck your neighbor (the card game), or just losing in general: it can get pretty ugly, but at the end of the day: it is only a game.

I fidgeted with my clothes, straightening out any last second wrinkles that always seem to appear. This shirt just didn’t seem to want to stay tucked into these slax. I don’t know what kind of hellish feud my clothes had started, but I prayed that it would resolve soon. I knocked on Dakota’s door. The said man cracked the entry open, his frame cloaked in an overly super fluffy robe. My smile reached my eyes.

“May we have this night?” My tone was slightly huskier than I remember it being. I bowed slightly, offering a hand. He slid the doorway open, allowing himself to step towards me. I hummed my approval, scooping him up to hold him against me. Dakota had grown used to me carrying him. He’s becoming sure of my strength that I always wrapped around him.

I glided into the dimly lit room. The ledge of the mattress dipped as I set Dakota down. My touch lingered in his golden hair as he nervously gazed up at me. He was looking for direction. 

“What are we doing tonight?” I cooed, letting my palm slide down to his cheek. 

“You’re going to tie me up.” he slipped into that mask of bravery he flaunted frequently. I softly purred praises as I knelt between his knees, my eyes not leaving his. 

“I’m going to start with your chest.” I promised softly, letting my hands run over his clothed arms. “Depending how it feels, I may restrain your arms... From there, I’ll blindfold you. In the end: I have a reward for you.” my hands squeezed his briefly before retreating back up the length of his limbs. His breath stuttered, he was trying to steel himself.

“You have your safe word.” I coaxed, waiting for him to acknowledge.

“Mercy.” He nodded while he spoke.

“What happens when you say it?” I studied him, I knew this scene was something he was shakey about. He can try to assure me he’s ready all he wants: I want to assure him he’s not powerless in this. 

“It stops.” he wasn’t as confident as he wanted to sound.

“Everything stops, and I untie you.” I held his gaze, he nodded again. I guess we’re both as ready as we can possibly be. 

“May we have this night?” my voice echoed smoothly as I stood over the thin man. 

“Please.” He whimpered. I lifted his chin to look over his conflicted expression. 

“I know you’re scared. I’m so proud of you, Dakota.” his breath hitched at my words. Yes, Sweetheart, I can read you- I’ve been around you enough, it wasn’t so hard anymore. I smiled down at him, half because of my own thoughts. Slowly I slipped my fingers under the edges of his robe, letting it slide down over his shoulders.

“Listen to me,” I hushed, “You are safe. I will not leave your side. And when this is over, you will not be tied.” 

“I trust you. “ three whispered words that held the world. I guided him back to the center of the bed. His head was cradled by pillows, his thin nude frame nested between the lavender scent and the comforter.

I started by massaging him, my thumbs pressing into the calming pressure points along his collarbone. The minstrations were slow but firm, eliciting a groan of appreciation. The nerves that plagued him seemed to ease enough for him to allow his eyes to flutter closed. 

“Good, good, Dakota.” I smiled, shifting slightly to straddle over his knees: none of my weight was on him. My fingertips traced from his shoulders to his wrists that were forgotten on his stomach. His limp, trusting arms were moved to his sides. My deep red silk was cool between my fingers. I found the center of the long strand, folding it expertly and smoothing out every wrinkle that lingered from it being stored away. I let my gaze drift over Dakota’s still body once more.

“I’m going to start now.” I purred, “Stay still.” I used a command he’s heard many times, anything to coax him into feeling more secure. I slid my arm under him, my palm supporting his neck while my forearm held the weight of his shoulders. He was lifted just enough for me to place the midpoint of the silk at the mid of his back. When the two strands emerged from either side of his nape, my palms pulling it flush with is skin- his lips trembled. I knew he was fighting to not open his eyes- as a part of the command to stay still.

“What is your safeword?” I laid a hand over his thundering heart, waiting for him to realize he still had that power.

“Mercy.” he hitched.

“And everything will stop.” I pressed a selfish kiss to his lips. He cracked his eyes open, testing if that was really against the rules. I didn’t say a word to him- if he needs to see what was happening, let him have that freedom. He nodded to me, I took that as a sign to move forward. 

I knotted the strands into segments that would later be the diamonds down the center of his torso. Nothing that wrapped around him as of yet. It was something that resembled an eccentric's ornate tie. 

The length reached his groin. I let it lay limp across his skin as I purred praise. The next step would cinch the silk against his body. This would tell me how he’s going to be able to handle the scene. 

He appeared as placid as ever. I almost dared to think he had relaxed to the brink of slumber. The two strands of silk slipped between his thighs, one on either side of his groin. They reunited as they slithered between his cheeks and up to the original fold. His golden eyes were locked to me as I carefully pulled the fabric tight. A high pitched whine escaped him, my low hush answered. I let him a few extra moments to grow familiar with the embrace as I teased out any lingering wrinkles or kinks. I wanted it to be perfect, not too tight, not too loose. 

“How does it feel?” I murmured as my fingers lifted to his tousled golden locks. 

“Doesn’t hurt.” A breath of almost relief answered. Not that I was unhappy to hear it, but my brow furrowed at the lowest of standards.

“Uncomfortable?” I tried to pull a bit more from him.

“No.” Dakota … was that a smile? I don’t think he was sure of it himself, but for a moment a look of almost bliss crossed his expression before slipping back to his carefully constructed mask. My own nerves eased at the sight. I maneuvered him and the silk so that he had a strand on each of his sides. They curved up just under his collarbone so that I could twist in the first start of the first diamond. I lifted him so he could feel my strength beneath him as I fassend it to the back structure. The silks tightened against his gilded skin so that the top notch was held slightly more open. At first I could see his breath came easier, feeling the links move farther from his throat, then the realization that this was actually happening settled in. I had twisted and knotted the first complete diamond by the time he realized I wasn’t going to crush the air out of him. The design laid directly over his sternum, the resulting braces tracing over his nipples. I knew he had braced himself against the initial sensations. He did not expect the rippling vibrations to continue as I moved through the bind. 

I took my time to straighten and form the fabric just so. Slowly moving down the braid by repeating my ritual of lifting him with my forearms to secure my art. What could have been a moan escaped his throat, his flesh was a delicious tint of lust. Muscles twitched with the resonating pull of the bind. A selfish purr rumbled in my chest before I could help myself. 

Silk was a lot easier on the senses. If I had used hemp... god, he would be wreathing beneath me: eyes blown and blissed out. 

Six diamonds now laid on the center line of his torso. I pressed a kiss against his framed navel as I tied off the lattice. Dakota was panting roughly. Sucking air as if it was the heaviest thing in the world. Lust stained most of his skin from beneath the silken adornments. Praises drifted on whispers as I shifted on the bed. 

“I’m right here,” I promised when our touch separated, keeping my voice constant in softness and little nothings all while I was readjusting the nest about us. If I’m not in physical contact, I need to be in emotional contact. 

Not just for Dakota, that was just a rule in general. No, god damn it, Damien. Get a hold of yourself. That was a rabbit hole I did not need to fall into. 

He looked me over, before hesitantly sitting up. I let him, watching his expression carefully. He was nervous, he had something going in those gears of his again. When I didn’t command him back down like a hell demon he was probably expecting, he tested his hands. At first I only raised a brow, but then he played with his range of movement to find his arms and legs were practically free. I caught myself smiling down at him as he settled back down into himself. 

He was hyper aware of my attention.

“Thank you.” he breathed, braving a glance towards me. I sat beside him with my legs crossed.

“I’m not done with you yet, if you would have me?” I held out a hand. I guided him onto my lap, my shoulder serving as his pillow as I wrapped my arms around him. He settled into the hold quickly- my fingers that were playing with the strands helped, I was sure. Some of the pieces I had teased out were tied directly to his sanity. Well, he reacted that way at least. He appeared to be blissed out. He seemed to have finally found that drunken sub mind full of assurance and trust. I was grateful that he handed himself to me like this. I- above all- was relieved I hadn’t pushed him too far too quickly. 

I continued to tug at the lattice, sending the vibrations and tensions over the entirety of the harness. Dakota mewled innocently enough, but his member was telling me he was enjoying the small ministrations. Embarrassment began to creep into him yet again, I only cooed to him. I could always promise that he was safe, I was here with him. 

“Do you want Master to tie your wrists?” I let my deeper voice play. His golden eyes flickered to my face, searching my expression. He must have found whatever he was looking for as he nuzzled back into the crook of my neck.

“Yes, Master, please.” His breath was warm against my skin, his voice held that reserved excitement. Carefully, I replaced him to our nest in the center of the bed. Dakota was smiling sheepishly, his panting rendering him almost breathless. Pride began to swell in my chest.

“Good pet.” I growled with lust before I could even catch what I had said. I’ve worked with him, praised him for voicing his wants, his needs. Slowly he’s becoming more comfortable in that territory.

“Yes, Master.” wasn’t exactly as submissive as it seems on the surface. If I didn’t know any better- I would say that Dakota was starting to abuse this new found power. 

I fetched the fresh silk from the nightstand. A shining black strand that flowed easily between my fingers. With a gentle touch, I crossed Dakota’s arms over his chest: loose and relaxed. 

I had the silk folded into a double strand as my arm arched Dakota’s back off of the bed, just enough to slip the silk under him. With the structure secured, I began to weave a similar lattice up each individual forearm. With every tie off, his limb was held just a little closer to his breast.

Dakota was holding himself together remarkably well. I knew nightmares wanted to stain his thoughts, but he was keeping the demons at bay. He was trying, but I could see his resolve wanted ever so badly to slip.

“You are not in the dorms anymore.” I was more aggressive than I intended. Quickly, I had to pull my voice back into check before I continued. “You are with me, in our home, safe in bed.” 

“They don’t hurt.” Dakota finally opened his beautiful eyes, “The restrictions… are just so… Familiar? Is that a word for it?” 

“I know.” I leaned over him, bracing myself on either side of his head, so that he could more easily see my face. “I know, Sweetheart.”

He looked away, fidgeting against the restraint of the newest bind. “I’m okay.” He resolved, I could see he was trying to focus on the good feelings of Shibari. 

Security, Attentions. 

“I’m going to blind your sight now.” I voiced calmly. “I’m right here, I’m not leaving.” 

“Okay, Okay.” He was convincing himself. I touched his cheek to turn his sight to me. 

“You are doing perfectly, Dakota.” I praised in a low voice, “After this, I have a reward for you.” He was Dakota, not mutt, or slave, or… god knew what else. I hoped he would believe that. 

Hesitance that had a grip on his body eased slightly. A shy -curious- smile graced his perfect, full lips. 

“Please, Master.” 

I purred my approval, shifting only slightly to reach the final silk that awaited on the nightstand. The forest green fabric was woven wider and thicker than the previous two, still just as fluid. My palm lifted his head as I wrapped the band a couple of times. The knot was small and hidden, my fingers fixed the blind so that it was one solid strand. 

I laid him back down on the pillows, I couldn’t help the slight warmth that bloomed on my skin as I looked over my handiwork. Dakota looked perfect. The harness was woven without a single wrinkle, his body laid placidly and blushed under the deep colors of the silks. He was perfect. Dakota really wasn’t anything short of beautiful.   
Dakota’s voice whined from the sudden spike of fear. My lack of contact and comment left him in a spiraling world of vulnerability and isolation. 

My voice cooed instantly, my palm ran over the lattice that coated his perfect body.

“It’s okay, I’m right here.” I moved closer until I was arched over him. 

“Master,” He whined his plead. His voice quickly spiraling into a mantra. I hushed him, whispering nothings as I one-handedly pulled him against my chest. I tossed the blankets to the side, opening a space to wrap us in the fortress of cotton, silk, fur, and feathers. 

Dakota laid across my lap, my fingers weaved into his hair as he rested his cheek on my shoulder. Dakota’s mantra had silenced after a few moments of stillness. Now, he just laid limply against my warmth. His breath came in pants, once in a while a small needy whine would escape. 

“Perfect, Sweetheart.” I smiled into his hair, “I couldn’t tell you how badly I wanted to do this with you the first few nights.” I confessed, my right hand roaming and teasing the harness. “I wanted so badly to help you.” He only nuzzled a little closer against me, he was focusing on the now. Not letting his mind wander back. 

I reached for the chocolate that was stashed just across the bed. He hummed slightly in question, my thumb graced his lower lip.

“Open for me.” I commanded in a whisper, he willed his lips to part obediently. 

He seemed honestly surprised when the sweet washed his senses. His jaw worked momentarily, his tongue swiping over his mouth briefly. 

“Chocolate?” He questioned.

“If you don’t want it, you could give it back.” I teased.

“No, it’s mine now.” He sneered back. 

A low chuckle rattled my chest. He savored the sweet, nestling right into the situation. By some god sent miracle he was like a healthy sub, not just healthy- a natural. I anticipated so much more panic. I was ready for hell- but he really was perfect. 

“We’re home alone.” I breathed into his ear. Chocolate was going to be the reward- a tribute that robe didn’t always mean pain. I fully believe that I could coax him further. 

“What difference does that make?” he was suddenly timid. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s only you and me.” he didn’t have a chance to respond before my palm wrapped around his still very interested member. He squeaked, his back arched, his head falling from my shoulder. I supported him on my left arm, shushing him carefully. 

“Let me reward you for behaving so well.” I purred, pulling him flush with my chest. He could only gasp as my fist moved over the sensitive flesh. Dakota grew tense, the silk strained tightly against skin as he tried to force his arms free. His fingers working frantically to find a knot in range he could undo. 

The more he struggles- the tighter it gets. 

My hand left his groin in favor of wrapping him in a tight hug. I was triggering the nightmares to flood his senses. I cursed, chastising myself that the first time I coax him into a sexual act- we should be far away from shibari. I should have known that. I did know that…

Fuck.

Dakota was dissolving into a panic. He thrashed against me, pulling the harness only tighter into his skin. I only held him so harshly to keep him from vicing himself. His sputtering, I realized, was his growing disability to form complete words. 

“Mercy.” I spoke for him, “I understand, Sweetheart.” Dakota had given up on speaking, reduced to a whimpering mess while tossing his head in effort to escape.

“It’s okay.” I hushed, tucking him against me, wrapping him in blankets and arms. “You’re safe, you’re home. I’m right here.” He choked a cry, thrashing his head again before I caught him against my breast. I quietly shushed him, a hum vibrating my chest as I clutched to the trembling boy. 

“I’m going to unblind you.”I murmured, the silk giving way easily as my fingers carded his hair. I dropped the blind over the side of the bed before shifting to lay Dakota on the bed. It wouldn’t be hard to untie him, if he is able to calm himself just enough. The feeling of the restraint falling away as easily as it came around him may be the best thing. 

“I can’t” his voice trembled, answering a question he didn’t know I was thinking. “I can’t get out.” 

“I will untie you.” I promised his pinhole gaze. I needed to be ready to cut him free. 

“Others will come if I don’t.” he was talking to himself. This had to have been the little pep talk to himself from the dorms. 

“Can’t escape… Have to. I have to.”

“Dakota,” my voice summoned. He wasn’t with me anymore. I reached for my knife. 

Dakota began to scream a wordless plead, as I slipped over him to use my weight to subdue his struggling. 

“Sweetheart, Look at me.” I commanded carefully. “I need you to relax for a moment. Let me free you.” He didn’t. Dakota couldn’t hear me. I was attempting to maneuver him to his stomach, but he broke free. I barely restrained my urge to chase him as he stumbled over the side of the bed. Legs were jelly beneath him as he collapsed at the closed doorway. He let out a defeated cry while struggling to lift himself from the floor. I could see the silk digging into his ribs from the effort. 

I glided to his side, cooing softly as an futile effort to not startle him further. My brawd right hand braced the nape of his neck as I slipped the blade under the star of silk at the mid of his back. The fabric split easily. The lattice fell almost as one netting, the few lingering strands were easily coaxed to the floor with little effort. His forearms were still entwined, but at least now he could extend his reach.

Dakota thrusted himself up to escape to the nearest corner. He pressed his back against the wall, crushing himself into the smallest form he could. His hands clawed at the last of the bind, leaving red streaks in their wake. 

I slowly moved closer to him, keeping myself crouched low. He was fixated on the tangled silk as I carefully reached for one of his desperate hands. I caught his wrists despite his attempt to wrench it away from me. I snapped, demanding his attention. Dakota only skewed his eyes shut, turning away. 

Quickly, I guided the maimed bind over each wrist. Once he was freed, I let him pull out of my hold. 

“It’s over, Sweetheart.” I whispered, staying on my knees in front of the panicking blond. His voice cracked under a heartbreaking cry, his claws digging fresh lines into his forearms. Dakota fisted a bit of his hair, curling in on himself for a moment. He appeared to be trying to catch his breath.  
His eyes finally landed on me. For what felt like forever he was just studying me. He winced when he met my eyes, turning to look over himself, then to take inventory of his surroundings. His sight lingered on the mound of frayed silk that was tossed to the other side of the room.

“I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?” he voice was raw. His throat worked as he stifled sobs that desperately wanted to bubble up.

“No, it’s okay, Sweetheart.” I purred through a whine. I braved to slowly outstretch a hand. “Not your fault. I should have warned you, I should have gotten your consent.”   
“I’m sorry” the words were heavy on my tongue because I wholeheartedly meant them. “Will you allow me to care for you?” I knew that look on his face, he was dropping.

“I don’t want to be alone.” his voice was wavering dangerously on the ledge of hysteria. 

“You’re not alone. I’m right here, Sweetheart.” I entwined our fingers, coaxing him to come closer. He let out a stuttering breath before he complied, allowing me to hold him. 

“What do you need?” I murmured into his hair- I had a laundry list of things I wanted to do, but I’ve already royally screwed up once.

“I don’t know.” he whined. Slowly, he just leaned into my chest. My voice cooed nonsense to him, my fingers searching out the hidden tension knots that were in his muscles. 

“We can lay down. Just cuddle for the night, sleep together.” It was getting late. Thankfully we didn’t need to go back into work until Tuesday. We had days to recover. I knew this was a risk- kind’a why we scened tonight. 

“I just can not handle being alone.” he echoed but his voice had a touch more strength. 

“I’m not leaving your side.” god, I could promise that as many times as he needed. 

Admittedly I fussed over Dakota a bit too much. I had nested the blankets around him so I could check every inch the binds had touched. The only markings I had found were the lines from his own nails. 

Dakota seemed to bask in the attentions, to the point that I was looking for excuses to linger over him. He sipped gratefully at a water bottle from the stash. His sheepish smile brightened when I followed his sight to the bowl of candy. He was now settled under my arm, the cool bowl on my breast bone, and Dakota nibbling away. 

“Want to watch a movie?” I hushed, smoothing out his twisted hair.

“No.” he huffed, pausing only slightly before reaching for another chocolate. 

“Need to talk?” I offered. Sometimes Dakota needs that little nudge.

“Later.” he only whimpered. I assumed he wanted to sort out his thoughts. That’s okay. We have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope it didn't disappoint! 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and you will be forever loved for it.


	16. pgs 171-183

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay: so. it's a pretty important chapter -I think- and I need to put a couple warnings first.  
> lots of swearing and heavy in the self-harm department. 
> 
> I was kind'a unsure about this chapter and how I was approaching it. But this is a change of POV before everyone gets super confused.
> 
> So yes. This is through Dakota's eyes. He's so freaking quiet that I figured the only way to properly tell his story was literally through his eyes. I know this has been only through Damien's viewpoint so you may not be able to tell. but I try to change the word choices/ what the characters are more apt to notice/ ect depending on who is talking. It's still me writing this. but I felt i should put in a few more warnings.
> 
> This may be the only chapter that changes the POV. MAYBE one more much later on. Depending on who would tell the story better.

The house was silent, heavenly silent. The frat must be out at some party, which left me in peace. My head didn’t quite want to believe it. Thoughts kept racing back to the sadistic group. Fuck, I had to keep myself together! Finals were coming up, and I have a real chance of pulling up two of my grades!

I just have to study and keep out of the wake of my fraternity “brothers.” My stomach twisted at the mere thought of them. 

No, no. Damn it, Dakota! Keep the textbooks in focus. As if sensing my frustration, my cell phone buzzed on the desk next to the mess of papers. A text from “Assface” blinked impatiently on the screen: “Call me”. Wow, didn’t honestly know he could communicate without swearing- he must have really been worried about me. 

“L8r. finals” I typed out, hoping it would be enough to get him off my back. At least for a little longer. Once I get my grades up- I’ll call him five times a day and see if he has any advice for my current… situation. He pinged back almost instantly- something smart assed I was sure- but I left it to be read later. 

It seemed impossible to keep the scribbled notes in focus. End of the year parties were going just outside on the streets, creeping closer this way. Any one of those drunken idiots could have been them coming back. 

Drunk.

Looking for me. The newbie… the one that they need to “initiate.” 

Not good enough, never good enough. I don’t know what they want from me- so I’m doomed to do it… over and over until. Until when? Until I’ve had enough? Until they kill me? Maybe I’ll be able to get something right for once in my fucking life. More realistically I’ll just end up being another hazing statistic. Just another personality-less name they put on a board to warn against the dangers of… this. Fear picked away at my senses, before I grasped what exactly I was doing, I had been boring a hole in the wall on the other side of the room with my blind sight. The slightly shattered ticking clock read about 1:35. Class was in less than six hours, and I just wasted half an hour doing literally nothing!

I couldn’t focus. If I couldn’t study I would fail every fucking class I took on this year. I have no excuse this time! I have time to study- I’m even home alone.

Fuck!

Why couldn’t I just function?

I know… I know one thing that would help. I honestly hated it almost as much as I needed it. That alone was infuriating. Yes, no. Everything in my screamed yes. The smallest bits of me left innocent cried for this cycle to end. I need to focus. Many turned to drugs: Adderall namely. Could I say that I was above that? Or is this worse?

I don’t know, I didn’t want to know. Fuck it all- Stop thinking!

My palms slammed down on the already abused desk, the bean bag I was perched on was kicked across the room. I made up my mind… Despite my better mind. 

The lock on our only bathroom’s door had been kicked in long ago. I made the mistake of hiding in here at the time. The fraternity didn’t take well to cowards. I was always warned against even considering places like this- I was too stupid to realize until it was too late. Now I’m here. The only pathetic excuse of privacy I got in this godless house was when I pushed that disgusting hamper of over-ripe spunk in front of the cracked entry.

The razor was sickeningly familiar in my grasp.

Everything I’ve ever heard or read about self-love bullshit always replayed in my head the seconds I sat with my pants around my ankles. The tub’s ledge was ice under me, goosebumps of nerves and anticipation began to form across my skin. I guess I did have one goal. One I hoped beyond anything that I would be good at. 

“I understand.” I mumbled to myself. Everyone is so quick to say that you’re beautiful- you should love yourself. How many know this? How many experience the need to do this? It’s not that I… completely hate myself. I want to be better- I want to do well in school. I want to be able to function in life. 

This helps. 

One day, maybe I’ll be able to put this whole ritual behind me. But that’s not today. Today, I need this. 

The pain scorched away every thought that tried to exist: a painful, peaceful quiet. Better than drugs? Maybe it was the same thing as drugs. Both may help. Both may kill. A ruby bleeding cut had joined a line up of pale, morbidly uniform scars that lined the insides of my thighs. 

Fuck, that hurts… Just, give it a moment. The pain always fades to a dull constant. I could use that to ground myself, I could keep tethered to now using that sensation. Every time I drift- my thoughts go to why my leg is hurting. But that was me. That was my doing- so I don’t have to worry about it. Normally then- I can easily go back to whatever task I actually wanted to do. It’s a similar cycle, with a shorter life span. 

It works, I don’t question it too much. 

The main door downstairs slammed against the wall. Monsters were home. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck- I wanted to cry, scream, anything! My throat had closed, hell I could hardly even breathe. Ice clogged my veins as I stared at the closed, weak barrier between myself and them. I had to move, I had to do something. I knew that- but my limbs were not waiting for a plan. I fidgeted harshly, heart pounding in my ears as I felt my arms spasm in helpless panic. 

Blinding pain radiated from my left arm. I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. I prayed gibberish to any god or goddess or fucktard that would listen. I knew that pain. Please tell me I didn’t actually do it… Just panic. This is just some sick trick of the mind, right? 

Red. Crimson wrapping from the top of my forearm near my elbow etching down to god near the bottom of my wrist. My left arm and hand was coated in blood. The scream was caught in my throat- but I could hear it in my own ears. 

I knew what was coming next. I dreaded it. Fuck, I dreaded it! The mockery, the remarks, I could pick out the hauntingly hollow sound of the roll of tape they always used on me. 

“Oh, look. We’ve neglected our little Painslut for too long.”

“Looks like it started without us!”

“Do you think we could pull back the skin?”

For the first time I hoped that I would bleed out. From a cut I never intended to have, one I never wanted to have. I wished I didn’t have any of them. How the hell could I convince myself that I needed any of this?

“Dakota?” a gravel voice pierced the veil of panic. I felt hands on me. Their hands? I fought against the touches- I didn’t know who or where they were coming from. Before I could command for them to back off, they… did?

It felt like it took an eternity to will my sight to focus. 

Bed?

I was in a bed, wrapped in an obscene number of blankets. Light from the far side table filled the room. The walls were a demonic bile purple color that shrank the room to a claustrophobic level. The beast that was sat up next to me held me in a gaze that should only be reserved for kittens who are teetering on the ledge of a woodchipper.

Right, Damien. 

I let my head hit the pillow in relief. Not even two seconds later the “oh, fuck” hit me. He’s going to want to know what just happen. 

He purred my name in a way that made me want to melt. His hot skin smoothed over my hand, I was sure he could feel my pounding pulse through the thin skin. God, I must have looked horrible under him. Hell knows the rat’s nest my hair is right now. That grease grime and stringy tangles that comes with the nearing twenty four hour mark since my last shower. 

How could I lay in his bed while I smelt like ass? Have I lost all of my manners? I forced myself up- my head protesting with a wave of dizziness. I could only glance at Damien apologetically as I forced my legs to take my weight. 

A part of me wondered if he regretted saving me. If he knew then what he knows about me now, would he even have stepped in? 

I ignored the look on Damien’s face as I escaped into his bathroom. The fluorescent light blinded me as soon as I hit the switch. Brightness of god’s asshole reflected off of the pristine marble everything.

I paced to the sink, staring myself down in the full wall mirror. My cheekbones stick out too much. My nose is too big. My throat looks like a twig trying to hold up a watermelon. My shoulders poke out at the joints. Fingers pressed against the thin tshirt, feeling out the bone and sinew. 

Wait. When the fuck did I get dressed? A late realization, but I stepped back slightly to look over myself. The shirt was easily three or four sized too big- and it looked like an acid tripping unicorn had vomited all over it. The sweats were so loose fitting that they were held up by a hair tie that was knotted against my hip. An army of screaming pickles littered the dark fabric, the words “Pickle Rick” were neon across my ass. 

This had to be Damien’s fucking doing. When had he dressed me? Would I really have felt better waking up naked though?...

Could he at least have put me in normal clothes?

I huffed, still torn between thanking and murdering him. I turned on the hot tap, full power. Fledgling bits of steam started almost immediately. I found myself rubbing my left arm against the phantom pains that often form there. That scar mocked me. The longest, deepest cut I had ever given myself. I didn’t mean for it, I didn’t want it. It was paper-white against my skin, jagged from where those bastards dug their drunken, filthy fingers into it.

All of the others were orderly, hidden. Tucked away between my thighs because no one but I was suppose to see them. 

But then sex happen: not slowly, not lovingly. It wasn’t the way I was imagining it: with some girl that I would treat like a queen. Because she was. She would always be a queen to me. I could only hope she would accept a marred peasant like myself. Not only was that part of me wretched from me- so was the dirty secret that I never wanted to be public. They had found it. When they did, they used it against me. They all do.

I don’t like pain, I need it. I hate even that. 

Heat scorched into my palm as I forced my skin into the source of that billowing steam. I’ve done this before in this exact room, actually. It settles me after a panic attack. Forces me to look at things now- not as they were. 

Aftercare? That’s what Damien had called it. Not this- never this. He doesn’t know. But I’m at the point that I don’t care whether or not it is “healthy.” 

I need it!

An over-sized hand looped around my wrist. 

“The water gets really hot in this house.” That low growl warned, “Don’t want you to get burned.” He was gazing at me through the mirror, his giant frame encasing me in shadows. Guilt heated my cheeks, ice paralyzed my veins: I was caught. He knows. That’s it. 

I’m his painslut now. My head felt like it both wanted to explode and float away at the same time. The ground swayed beneath me. Selfishly, I wanted to go down. That means I don’t have to face this yet. 

“Was the steam helping your headache?” he questioned into my scalp. An arm as thick as my leg was wrapped around my torso- holding me against his larger, sure body. “I can run a bath for you.”

A bath?!

Relief, frustration, laugh, cry? I don’t know what the noise was- but it managed to wheeze from my collapsing throat. How the hell is someone named fucking Demon so fucking innocent? … sweet? 

Stupid? 

He hummed in question, his warm breath flooding between hairs. Even if this metal and ink laced demon was just stupid, at least I’m not his painslut. 

My palm was lifted to his sight, my breath hitched. Slowly he lifted the red, slightly swollen digits to a soft, metal fringed kiss. His sight washed over my face as he held my wrist as if it would break. Granted- with his strength- it would. 

Breath coated my mildly burned flesh like a layer of frost. I flinched hard. He was fucking mocking me, wasn’t he? He knew. 

He knows. He’s interested, isn’t he? He’s probably planning out scenes that will push me beyond my limits. Except he knows how to hurt… he knows how to keep me awake for the whole thing. I won’t be able to escape, will I? 

“You have beautiful eyes, do you know that?” he purred in a smile. My eyes are… what?

“Why don’t I run that bath?” he offered, moving me carefully to lean against the sink’s counter. 

“You look like your head’s ready to split in half.”

It was. It really was.

But, the unknown of silence was even more painful. 

“I’m sorry I’m wasting your time.” My eyes refused to land on the hunched beast. I could feel those dark eyes burrowing into me. If I couldn’t even control myself, how the hell do I think I’ll be able to dom over someone else? Just a waste of time. I could tell he was frustrated, that familiar reserve he has of someone that had a temper problem. Once upon a time- I may have been punched by this man. But, by some mercy, he found me after he got control over himself. He said nothing as he dipped his arm into the nearly full over-sized basin. 

“Water’s ready.” He announced as he stood- stretching his limbs. His eyes were kind when he faced me. His movements were fluid as ever as he glided to my side. 

“When did you dress me?” the question slipped out before I could hesitate. 

“You dressed yourself.” he hummed, “I just didn’t trust you alone to go get your clothes.” 

“I would have been fine!” a defensive snarl began to bubble up in my chest. 

“The fact you had to ask me about this, tells me I made the right call.” his voice was serious, but god he had a teasing smirk. 

He lifted the shirt over my head, my awareness of just how bad I looked peaked. I was too thin near my joints, yet I managed to have extra blab on my stomach. How could he even look at me? Is that why we never really had sex? I’m too ugly aren’t I? He’s doing the bare minimum to keep up his half of the deal. Will he even want to renew the contract?

Am I going to be kicked out? 

Damien knelt before me, his fingers loosening the band on my waist. He was eye level with my crotch. If by some stupidity miracle he had not noticed the marks before- he definitely would now. 

I groaned my panic- my nails fruitlessly dug into the marble counter top. This was it- I felt the cooler air wash over my skin as the cloth slid down.  
Then nothing. Silence, Stillness. It was as if Damien was even afraid to breathe. I braved to open my eyes. He was there, knelt between my legs. His gaze was fixed to my face however. I looked away quickly- afraid of finding a sadistic smirk on his demonic gaze. 

He hummed something to himself, his warm breath was on my thigh as he nosed against the skin softly. He swallowed, arching up to me with those warm, dark eyes. 

“These are the problem, aren’t they?” he hushed slowly. Fear prickled my senses as he rubbed a hot palm over the marred flesh. 

“I don’t like pain.” I found myself squeaking, preparing for the hell that was about to unfold.

“I know you don’t” he promised, hot lips pressed against the scar closest to my knee. A jolt ran through me, my focus was solely on Damien as he laid feathery kisses on each line of my right leg. He painstakingly worked up to the top line before opening his eyes. 

“I’ve seen them before. They don’t affect how I see you, Dakota.” He… what? My heart was in my throat- pounding wildly. Damien moved down, starting with the lowest scar of my left leg and proceeded with those feathery kisses. 

“These don’t cross my mind at all.” He took my left hand, pressing multiple kisses along the pale line. “I’m always captivated by you.” He purred sinfully while standing his full height. 

His gentle fingers lifted my chin to face him. 

“You are beautiful, Sweetheart.” 

BULLSHIT!

I almost bit out. My air was suddenly arrested as hatred and frustration boiled up in me. He’s putting up with a lot from me. The least I could do was not lash out. 

“Can you do me a favor?” He was reading the disbelief on my face. I mean, I’m a mental wreck with multiple scars to prove it! How the hell does this not change anything?!

“Dakota.” he commanded softly, drawing me out of my thoughts. 

“What.” I breathed.

“Do me a favor.” he tilted his head. “Next time, find me.” 

“Next time?” I frowned. 

“Next time the urge to hurt yourself comes, come find me.” His words were slow, dark. Hell, everything he said felt dark with the deepness of his vocal cords. 

“You want to hurt me.” the accusation was natural. All of them wanted to hurt me. I was a toy for their morbid curiosities. 

“No,” his eyes narrowed. “I want to help you through this.” Help me? God don’t tell me he’s another breathing self-love seminar! 

“Promise me.” He demanded, still holding my face.

Fuck…

“Promise.” I whimpered. He nodded, releasing my face but taking hold of my hand.

“Your bath is getting cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was worth the wait. Comments are always appreciated and you will be forever loved! even if it is just telling me to go screw myself.


	17. Pgs: ???-???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the change in title is purely because this update is purely typed out. I don't have a physical copy of it. mostly because I have run out of room in the book.

Dakota wasn’t acting the same around me ever since I walked in on him trying to burn himself. I played stupid- hoping that would ease some of his worries. The scars seemed to plague his thoughts, there was a real chance that they were the reason he had such a hard time progressing. It’s infuriating to watch so helplessly because he’s expressed to me every time that he wants to move past it. 

The scene was the night before last and he still was refusing to acknowledge my existence let alone start talking about what had happen. He needs to talk; we need to talk. It’s the only way I’m going to consent to still working with him.

If we can not get on the same page- if we can’t earn that level of trust between each other- we shouldn’t be doing such things. Hell, if he’s still interested in working through this kind of trauma, I would me more than happy to help him find another dom. One I would be confident in. 

Maybe I should consider pulling in another submissive sooner than I thought? The only other sub he’s watched was Aida, and Aida had called his safe word then. Has he ever actually seen a successful play? Not that Aida’s wasn’t essentially ‘successful’. I could call Aida, but I’d much rather work with someone I know better. 

Ren. 

I haven’t considered him. He and I would scene together all the time before- surely he would understand my situation better than anyone. Fuck, he’s even used this kind of twisted play to get over whatever gave him PTSD. Dakota would appreciate something like that. He just… has to talk to me.

“Sweetheart,” I tested the silence that had encased Dakota’s room. He was sat by the window- a book was in his lap but the pages were still closed. He refused to look up at me, but grunted a weak “what?” under his breath.

“We need to talk.” I echoed my thoughts. “Would you rather in here, or we can go to the studio?” His room was his haven. Even now I was leaned against the threshold, but not daring to enter the sacred space. Only two exceptions: his explicit permission, or for his immediate safety.

“Studio?” he sounded like nerves were constricting his air. He stood mechanically, his knuckles were white from the grip he had on the innocent binding. He still refused to let his sight rise from the flooring as he shuffled timidly between feet. I found myself fisting my hands as I tried to follow him at his drunken turtle pace. He clearly didn’t want this to happen. I can give him a way for this to never need to happen again. I didn’t have his permission to touch him. My fists grew tighter as the urge to comfort him spiked. 

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” He opened his end of the argument. I motioned for him to sit while half considering getting us a couple drinks from the stash under the desk. Deciding against it, I sat across from him, folded my hands in my lap, and forced my body to relax. 

“And I forgive you.” I swallowed dryly, noting that his sight had finally flickered to me. “I forgive you for not seeing that you did nothing wrong.” I spoke slowly- purposefully. His jaw went slightly slack, his gaze shifted back and forth between fear and confusion. 

“I’m sorry.” my voice almost shook on me as I watched him absently rub his left forearm. “I should have asked if you were okay with moving forward. I did something I knew was risky, that wasn’t right of me.” We sat in the gaping silence. He was clearly trying to process what I had just said. I let him, because I had to figure things out too.   
“Are you giving up on me?” Dakota sounded self deprecating, as if he knew the answer but just wanted to hear it from my lips.

“I am not giving up on you.” the words came instantly, easily. I had to force myself to stay in my chair, that snuggle bug part of my brain wanted to have this conversation with Dakota IN my lap. My palms were god damned itchy from the lack of specific golden blond locks. 

“Do you have a scene planned out?” Dakota’s voice was slightly more hopeful, but I didn’t miss the tightness of anxiety around his eyes. Scenes scared him now.

“I was thinking,” I paused to carefully think over my next words. “We can go see a scene being performed.” Dakota was not expecting that. “Neither of us need to be involved. Nothing is expected- at all. Just… I want you to see what a good experience is. Don’t misunderstand.” As I was explaining, Dakota was reclusing tighter and tighter into himself. My purr hushed him even though he hadn’t made a sound. Eventually my reserve snapped and I rose. When I was standing two feet from his side I lowered myself to his eye level, steadying myself.

“May I touch you?” 

He shook his head violently ‘no’, looking almost dumbfounded when I had actually backed off. 

“You were saying?” he whispered spiritless.

“I don’t want you to misunderstand, you have done amazingly and I am very proud of you. But I feel like to move forward as you want, it would help you to see someone that’s already figured it out.” Slow, careful words. “Or, if you would rather, I can scene with someone else- let you watch, let you communicate with us.” 

Dakota worried his lower lip as he wished desperately to disappear. The memory of Aida’s little moment of weakness was probably flashing over his eyes. Despite most of the night going well, despite Aida leaving in good spirits. 

“Clearly, you can take your time thinking it over.” I promised him, “You also have the option to cancel this whole relationship between us. Fuck the signatures, Dakota. You are not stuck here with me.”

“Why bother with them then?” he almost snorted, but he was braving to look me in the eye again.

“It’s a way for us to communicate. Dakota, no one is going to let someone hold you prisoner in a bad situation because of some ink. Hell, divorces happen all the time.” the realization that he was still technically a free man- he had always been a free man hit him hard. His mouth worked like he wanted to respond, but no words fell. His golden eyes just fidgeted on my face, clearly looking for a lie- trying to find the sick trick.

“I signed the contracts, I couldn’t leave his house. I had to obey or he would-” his voice cut off in favor of biting against the bile that suddenly formed in the back of his throat.

“Coldon is a sick fuck.” I growled, only barely catching my very tested temper. “He… he took advantage of your already vulnerable situation, and… and he.” I forced myself to shut up before I regretted whatever my brain was trying to pour out. I hated that man. There was only one man prior that I actually hated. Coldon managed to be the very close second. 

“Look, scene to scene. Day to day. Minute to fucking minute. Whatever happens is by your consent. If you say stop, it ends. No questions, no pressures. Everything just stops.” I know I sounded like a broken record. If I had to record it and literally put it on repeat for it to finally sink in- I would.

I layed lazily on the porch swing. Bella was busy fussing over the new round of gardeners, her voice rising just high enough for me to make out a few mismatched words. Her irish toy following her around like a lost puppy. Every so often I could see Ryan apologizing to a stray worker that fell victim to the banshee’s wrath.

I had texted Ren. “Call me when you’re private.” Honestly, I half expected a phone call within the next few minutes. Ren was running a business that ran on privacy. 

Sure enough, within fifteen minutes, Ren’s photo from years ago plastered across my app-game and scared the utter hell out of me. 

“What’s up?” he chirped cautiously. 

“You just ended my streak in flappy bird you prick.” I barked back, feigning anger. He only laughed at me, the cheeky bastard. I didn’t realize how much I missed his genuine expressions. 

“So, what do you think of doin’ somethin’ for old time’s sake?” I teased lightly- as if I was trying to pick up a girl at a bar. 

“Don’t you have a honey already?” He played back.

“He’s hit a bit of a road block.” I spoke honestly, hearing the little hum of understanding from the fighter-built man. 

“Should I be honored that you called me?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I wouldn’t mind meeting up with you two, see what comes of it.” We bantered back and forth like an old married couple for a few more moments. 

Ren is a good guy- he’s a good choice for this.

After another work week, Dakota and I found ourselves back in Zeus’ Quarters. Dakota looked nervous. As if every inch of the place was going to jump out at him- mock him for such interests. I asked him to sit when he stayed near a wall. His hesitant eyes flickered to me before returning to his folded hands.

“Sweet heart.” I purred, patting the lush couch. We were waiting for Ren to arrive- he shot me a text earlier saying that he had to catch up on some paperwork, so he’s going to be a few minutes late.

“I’m sorry.” he whimpered his default line as he moved to the couch. I smiled when he sat stiffly, his focus still on his hands, or perhaps was he looking over his scar. 

“Just take a deep breath for me.” I cooed, my fingers twitching to run over his bouncing knee. He heaved a stuttering breath, looking more nervous than before.

“I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” He admitted, popping his jaw and attempting to lean back on the couch.

“We aren’t expecting anything from you.” I reminded. “This scene is between myself and Ren, but if you have any questions or reserves or anything: say something.” Dakota swallowed tightly as he finally pulled his long sleeve back down over his scar. 

“I’m not physically good looking.” Dakota spoke more matter of fact than a question, “How do you put up with me?” I hissed softly, a chuckle threatening to bubble up out of frustration.

“You are beautiful. Your scars don’t mar you, Dakota. You have the most amazing eyes, the most beautiful shade of hair, your voice is down right sinful.” I tallied off. Smiling lopsidedly as he raised a disbelieving brow at me. “Your spicy little attitude keeps everything interesting. You are extremely skilled in everything you put your mind to. I’m honored that I have the opportunity to know someone like you.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to get me into bed.” He snorted, but if that was the worst he could think of- maybe a part of it is starting to sink in. Finally. I played along for a while, sweet talking him with a wink. He allowed me to lean back, stretching my arm across his shoulders like a smooth guy in a theater. 

Ren knocked on the door rapidly before twisting the knob. By the time I looked up to greet him, he had covered most of the distance between the door and the couch.

“Fashionably late, as always.” I smiled, letting him pull me in for an enthusiastic hug.

“Sorry, sorry, babes.” Ren winked, holding out his arms for the still sitting Dakota. To my surprise, he rose to his feet to receive the gesture.

“So.” Ren plopped down on the couch right next to Dakota, even pulling one of Dakota’s knees onto his lap. “I heard a rumor that Mr Xatan and I are playing?” Dakota turned red from embarrassment instantly. A light hearted giggled erupted from Ren’s voice. His grey eyes actively sparkling.

“Maybe the thought of the two of us is too much for such an innocent one.” I grinned at the slight scowl I earned from Dakota. Ren only laughed a touch louder. 

“Well, first question.” Ren waved for us to stop making him laugh. “Who’s gonna’ be on top?” Another wave of embarrassment flooded Dakota.

“You… you sub?” Dakota sputtered looking towards me. Then he flickered to Ren, “You sub?” I shrugged. Ren smiled feigning innocents. 

“Remember what I said, that in order to dom you need to know how to sub?” my voice purred, Dakota’s gaping mouth snapped shut. 

“How about you dom, Xatan?” Ren nudged my shoulder. “Show exactly what Dakota would be getting himself into.” Dakota dropped his head, his ears were bright red even though he was trying to hide his face.

“I would be honored to have you blissed out of your mind.” I teased back, a purr spinning a promise. 

“What’s goin’ through your mind, Little one?” Ren tipped his head to the side, his voice softening. The blond shook his head, a stutter preceding his words. I let my arm drop slightly, my palm encased one of his thin shoulders as a silent way of telling him he was okay.

“You guys seem so… it seems so easy for you to talk about this.” Dakota swallowed, testing a glance up at Ren’s soft expression.

“Of course.” the fighter cooed. “If you aren’t okay talking about things. You shouldn’t be doing the said things.” Ren raised a hand in offering to Dakota, he hesitated for a moment, eventually folding is thin fingers into the strong palm.

“Aren’t you… aware of your scars?” Dakota’s voice lost it’s confidence half way through the sentence. I let my sight flicker to Ren’s expression. I could see the strained emotions being forced back. That was a topic that Ren normally ignored. Even the most innocent questions in passing tend to toss the man back to a time he’d rather not remember.

“At first it was hard.” He swallowed, clearly speaking truthfully. “It takes a while to accept them as just a part of yourself.” My hand left Dakota’s shoulder and braced the nape of the man’s neck. He shot me an appreciative glance, slightly leaning back into the touch.

“You have scars, I take it?” Ren questioned carefully: afraid of sparking a familiar feeling in the delicate blond. Dakota nodded, his fingers fidgeting with the cuff of his long sleeve. I could see Dakota take a steading breath. Without many words, the blond lifted his left sleeve, showing the milk line that curved around his forearm. Ren hummed knowingly, his finger pad following the smooth skin.

“It’s beautiful.” Ren hushed the nerves that were clearly rippling in Dakota’s chest. To Dakota’s surprise, Ren shifted forward slightly to tug his own shirt over his head. Ren had pale skin, it was just barely tanned from the sparse kisses from the sun he had received over the the course of the summer. He was filled out perfectly with muscle, his skin taut over the frame, white lines of faded scars littered almost every limb. A cluster of jagged lines collected on the upper side of his left forearm. His throat held the largest single mark. It curved from ear to ear, hooking under his chin. The back of his neck held the second half of the mark, which dipped up under his dark hairline, but the tails almost met the front half by his ears.

Dakota swallowed, his hands tracing some of the lines. There were so many, what had he survived? I’ve asked him before, I’ve just recently gained the courage to ask about the one around his throat: I never could get a straight answer. Dakota quickly became sheepish as his golden eyes washed over the fighter’s figure.

We were silent for a while, allowing Dakota to fully digest what he was seeing. Ren hummed happily under the soft mintrations from Dakota’s fingertips. He was encouraging the little one to take what he needed. Somehow it seemed to be working. 

Ren stayed stock still when Dakota stepped just a hair closer, his hands exploring the stripes of history that painted the fighter’s body. 

“They are beautiful.” Dakota finally whispered, red stained his cheeks and ears as the gears in his head were whirring away. Ren hummed softly as an acknowledgement, his grey eyes studying the encroaching man. Dakota tilted his head, a soft whimper escaped his lips. My attention snapped to the blond, but Ren stayed still, seemingly reading Dakota’s intentions.

Dakota stepped closer, hesitating for a moment. He had moved a palm to Ren’s nape, pulling him closer as he pressed his perfect lips to the edge of the scar that ran over Ren’s pulse point. The blond froze again, as if questioning if what he had done was acceptable. Ren’s palm moved to the back of Dakota’s head to thread through those golden locks. My heart stopped when I heard that breathy moan slip from Ren’s throat. I forced myself to not stand. Dakota had Ren’s throat under his lips, more like between his teeth. The soft bite causing Ren’s eyes to flutter. When Dakota pulled back, the fighter let him escape. Ren stood with a gentle smile- Dakota looked nervous as all hell.

“I’m sorry.” the blond quickly recoiled back into himself. Ren hushed quickly, reaching for those smaller palms.

“None of that here,” he quipped between pressing kisses into Dakota’s skin. “Come, sit. We have a lot to talk about.” 

“You sure you don’t want Dakota over you?” I teased the fighter.

“One day- careful old man, he might be your replacement.” Ren smirked, pulling Dakota’s knee back into his lap. 

“What kind of thing are you in the mood for?” I questioned air to leave it open for either one of them to speak up. Dakota leaned back on the couch, seeming much more comfortable. 

The date was set for the next week. Of course, Ren and I were going to keep in touch up to the time. We hadn’t performed together in a while- we needed to make sure we still understood each other like we once had. 

Bella swatted me with a feather duster while I was sprawled in the sitting room. Her hazel eyes held a playful hatred as she pointed to my foot that was perched on the wooden low table. I responded by lifting my other foot to join it- crossing my legs at the ankles. She huffed, half heartedly throwing the bundle of feathers at my chest. 

One night, after diner, Dakota was curled up contently with a cup of hot coffee in his grasp. I was in the same room, leaned back against the side of a loveseat with my phone buzzing with videos. 

“Damien.” he tested the silence. Finally comfortable enough to call me by my name- my heart nearly crushed my lungs from the amount of pride swelling into it.   
“Yes?” I paused the video, signalling that he had my whole attention.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” he questioned quickly- as if he was going to lose the confidence to say such a lewd thing.

“Of course, I do.” I snorted. “Wait- that came out wrong.” To my amazement, Dakota actually chuckled. 

“If I have any reserves about what we do together- I will tell you.” I clarified, finding that he seemed to be handling this better. Finally not just curled in a ball and praying for it to pass. 

“What would you do to me?” Dakota swallowed the nerves that tried to bubble up- he was actively fighting to be a part of this conversation. Not only that- he was starting it. 

“Well.” I hummed, my mind wandering slightly. I hadn’t really planned out something that far in the future. “I don’t know what you like yet.” I spoke honestly. The blond blushed from the thought.

“I.” he cracked his jaw, forcing his sight to linger on me instead of darting to the closest exist. “I don’t think I know what I like either.” I hummed my understanding. 

“Every time I’ve been vulnerable… before.” Dakota continued talking- I desperately tried to hide my overwhelming amazement. “I was hurt, every time.” 

“You’ve gotten a lot better at trusting me. The line seems to be when we start acknowledging our… sensual sides.” I supplemented, trying to remind him that he has worked hard for this. He has already overcome huge barriers. Ever since that stollen kiss he gave to Ren- he seems a touch more sure of himself. Was that the first thing he’s instigated?

“I can kiss you till you’re drunk.” I chirped lightly, carefully reading his reaction. For the first time in this conversation, his sight flickered to the doorway- to the way out. He drags a breath and forces his sight back to me. 

“That… that would be a start?” he responded. That ever staining tint returning to his face. I smiled honestly. 

“We can start as chaste as two lovebirds. Then slowly, we can add other elements as we learn one another.” 

“Can you… can you.” he stuttered, shutting his eyes against the intrusive thoughts. I gave him the time to gather himself. He’s doing wonderfully- but I’m ready to catch him if he starts collapsing into himself. He stopped his minute trembling all at once. 

“Can you put me back into that… sub mind? I ... “ god he was lipstick red. “ you’ve done it… and I. really…” I stood, covering the span between us in seconds. He gawked up at me with wide, unsure eyes as my palms hooked under his jaw. 

“Right now? Tonight?” I hushed his rambling. “Sometime this week? Eventually?” 

“Right now.” he clipped, I could read the darker thoughts that were screaming at him- but he was trying to ignore them. He was actively fighting that demon right before my eyes. 

“What is your safe word?” I mouthed slowly, my voice progressively growing more dominate.

“Mercy.” he squeaked with a sound bordering relief. 

“May I touch your face?” yes.  
“May I touch your neck?” yes.  
“May I touch your shoulders?” yes.  
“May I touch your arms and hands?” yes.  
“May I touch your back?” yes.

“Are you having an urge to harm yourself?” he worried his lip. A familiar look of nervousness flashing over his young features. Yes.

“Thank you for telling me.” I purred, lowering my voice. “You’re being so good for me.” I felt his throat work, his lips parted in a pant as he reopened his eyes to look up at me.

“May I blindfold you?” yes.  
“May I gag you?” he hitched his voice. His muscles trembled under my touch.

“How?” he braved. I cooed to him. Just enough to praise him for being honest with me. 

“Just silk. Very loosely. I’ll ask you to hold it between your teeth- but if you need to speak, you will be able to release it. “ 

“Okay.” he squeaked, “Yes.”

“May I pick you up?” Yes.  
“May I kiss you?” My lips ghosted just over his, I always stole one kiss before each scene. It was always a selfish quirk. I never realized how such a thing might be craved by the little blond. 

“Yes.” He leaned up, meeting me. I enjoyed the warmth of his full lips for as long as he offered them to me. As quick as the kiss was- I would treasure the few seconds forever. 

“What is your safe word?” I echoed, signalling to him that was everything I needed to ask of him. We were going to start as soon as he answered me. 

“Thank you.” he murmured, I drank in those glowing eyes. He a smile ghosted his expression- quickly chased by a nervous crease. “Mercy.” 

“On your knees.” I commanded, my hands leading him closer to the center of the room. He was a safe distance from all the surrounding furnisher. I would have to run upstairs for a second. I needed the two silks. Until I returned-

“Arms behind you.” I instructed once he was knelt comfortably. He did, looking almost professional. I tilted his chin up, causing him to straighten out his back. “Stay.” I purred at the beautiful sight before me. “Close your eyes and relax.” I smiled at his willingness. “I will be right back. Count to twenty for me, outloud- but not too loudly.” 

He started with the numbers, slowly- leisurely. I moved away from him quietly- but as soon as my foot hit the main foyer, my legs carried me in a sprint up the steps. I didn’t have a lot of time. 

“Seventeen.” he counted off when I stepped back into the sitting room. Bella looked at me with a quirked brow. I raised a finger to signal for her to stay quiet. She nodded her understanding- moving towards the opposite hallway. Probably going to Ryan’s room so they can stay out of the way. I was beyond lucky to have such an understanding maid. 

“Nineteen.” Dakota counted, clearly starting to get a touch nervous.

“I’m here.” I announced before he could finish, my breath back under control. “I’m going to blindfold you now. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Master.” He breathed, relief evident in his relaxing features. I pressed a kiss at his hairline, the dark silk was cool under my touch. It slipped familiarly over Dakota’s skin wrapping a few times over itself before I began to tuck a small knot away. 

“You’re beautiful.” I praised, my thumbs lingering over his cheekbones. “How are you doing?” 

“I’m okay, Master.” he breathed. I watched as he licked his lips in anticipation, he could probably feel my breath washing over his skin. His perfect kiss graced my lips once again. I held his jaw to lead him carefully, he hummed under my touches. I separated our kiss slowly, letting him relax into himself as I straightened. The second silk was pulled from my pocket. 

“I’m going to gag you now.” I watched the little lines of his face twitch. “Do you understand?” I forgave his silence, he swallowed. 

“Yes, Master.” his voice quivered. I lowered myself for another kiss, just a short one to settle his thoughts. I lifted the humble strand to his mouth, he obediently parted his lips as I set it between his teeth. 

“Hold it here, only drop it for your safe word.” I hushed, still inches from his nose. He nodded shallowly. Waiting perfectly for the next task. 

“Stand.” I commanded, my palm supporting his elbow to help give him leverage to get to his feet. He faltered slightly, as if his leg had fallen asleep from the lack of movement. I let him be for a moment, waiting to see him shift his weight evenly between his feet. 

“Let me lead you, follow me.” I purred, holding surely on his upper arm. Dakota followed me with a touch of hesitance. He couldn’t see where he was going. He couldn’t ask what we were doing. He had to trust that I had control, and that I wasn’t going to let anything happen to him. 

I actually lead him to the front door. I had him stop and wait for the few seconds I paced to lift a few blankets from the sitting room. It was a beautiful summer night- but I couldn’t risk Dakota getting cold from the early autumn turn. He was waiting for me perfectly. The tense muscles that wrapped his throat was the only sign that he was being tested mentally during this. 

“Kneel for me.” I commanded. He did, formally. His arms were still behind his back- for once I didn’t need to tilt his head up. He held it high as if trying to gaze into an unseen face above him. “You’re perfect, Sweetheart. You’re being so perfect for me.” Despite his attempt to hide it- he was preening under the praise. 

“I’m going to be gone for a moment longer this time. Stay as you are. Just breathe for me. Okay?” I let my fingers grace his cheek, smoothing over this high cheekbone and thumbing over his little nose. He nodded under my touch. “I will be back.” I promised before turning away, trying to move silently to the back door.   
Dakota had let his butt fall to his ankles by the time I silently glided back into the foyer. 

“Tired, Sweetheart?” My voice carried stronger than Dakota was expecting. He flinched, raising himself back into position. I could see the slight tremble in his shoulders, the way he barely was able to hold up his head. 

“Breathe for me,” I soften my voice, “I’m going to touch you now.” the warning was for his anxiety. Senses were heightened when blinded- I didn’t want to send him into another panic. He nodded slightly, possibly to himself. My touch started at his jawline, just the backs of my fingers. Both of my hands ran softly down either side of his throat, over his shoulders, before turning over and massaging down the length of his upper arms. A soft noise escaped him, goosebumps flooded his skin. A selfish smile quirked my lips just before I lowered a soft little peck to the tip of his nose.

“Good, good, Sweetheart.” I lowered myself to his side, pressing a kiss into his shoulder as a way of warning him where I had moved. “I’m going to lift you now.” He nodded again- starting to lean against me before correcting himself. Soon enough, he had what he wanted. My arms held him surely against my chest, his head was cradled in the crook of my shoulder. If I didn’t know any better- I would say that he had slipped into a nap on me. I was walking meaninglessly outside. Well, pseudo meaninglessly, I had rounded the house to go into the back yard. Currently I was pacing a little further back into the garden to give Dakota the delusion that he was going to be farther from the house than we were actually going to be. He was going to have to trust me to protect him in an unknown territory. 

I set him down on a patch of grass. He knew that we were outside, but it didn’t seem to fully register until nature greeted his flesh. He felt around him frantically, his fingers digging into the earth blindly. I hushed him, placing my hands on his shoulders. He keened through the silk between his teeth: making a note to not drop it. 

“I’m right here.” I attempted to soothe, he let his hands grasp around my calf. His face was pressed against my thighs as his soft whimpers sputtered with his heaving breaths. 

“I’m right here.” my voice echoed softer, my fingers threaded between those golden strands to scratch lightly against his scalp. He leaned up into the touch, his shaking easing.

“Stand for me.” I command when he seems to have settled down. He did, his hands still holding onto me. I had forgiven him falling out of the pose he was instructed to keep. He was searching for my support. If I was going to demand more from him- he was allowed to demand more from me. 

“Remove your shirt.” I watched the spark of fear cause his muscles to jerk. I cradled his cheeks in my palms, pressing a grounding kiss to his closed lips. My ministrations wandered over his face, pressing chaste kisses into his cooling skin. “I’ve got you.” the promise melted Dakota into my hold. “You’re safe.”

He moved to obey after I commanded for him to strip once more. He dropped the shirt haphazardly at his side. I knelt to lift the little fabric, eyeing his methodically tensing form. He had returned his arms to the small of his back, waiting for another task. I smiled.

“Follow me.” I purred, returning my hold to his bicep. We moved slowly back towards the house. He didn’t know where we were going- he didn’t know where we were. For all he knew- I was taking farther away into the unknown. Yet, he’s managing to trust me through this. He could stop this at any point. He wasn’t. 

I never separated our touch from the moment he removed his shirt. He was vulnerable in an unknown location. Even if the house was on fire- I was not about to leave his side. I slowed us to a stop when we stood a few feet from the back porch. The blankets were folded and ready at my feet. Didn’t release his arm as my other hand cupped his cheek. My voice purred softly, my thumb running over the silk that was held between his teeth. 

“I’m going to take the gag.” I murmured. “I want you to tell me how you are doing.” He released the fabric for me, his tongue licking over his drying lips. 

“Where are we?” he gasped slightly. I hummed understandingly, running touches over his flesh. 

“Home. Safe. Alone.” I promised, it was vague enough to leave it a mystery- but I hoped it would be enough to settle his racing thoughts. He nodded, his chest still heaving. 

“What do you want from me, Master?” he tested the unknown. 

“Relax. I’ve got you- let me watch over you.” my voice purred dangerously, my lips nibbled softly along his throat’s tendon. He let his head fall into my palm. I continued to purr praises as I watched him slip farther into the moment. 

“Kneel.” the word was loving, he slipped to his knees without a moment’s thought. I moved myself slightly behind him- bending to lift the blanket and book I had set out. I layed the folded blanket over my shoulder for easy reach. I stood with my leg snug against his back. He leaned his head back against my thigh. 

“Stay.” I purred, he did. I raised the book, looking over Dakota through the corner of my eye. The nervous lines soften as time dragged. He slipped further into a soft bliss. Every so often I purred a praise that lulled the placid blond. Movement caught my attention, just a slight shift of Dakota’s head. He had turned his cheek against my pant leg with a hum. His ridged shoulders had lazed some time ago. I had his weight supported against my left leg. If I wasn’t hyper aware of his breathing, Dakota would have easily have been mistaken for asleep.

Goosebumps raised on his skin from the cooling autumn air. I hummed a warning of my movement. He groaned when I shifted my leg to signal for him to move. The fur like fabric coated his shoulders almost immediately after. He hummed as a sleepy child. 

“How are you?” the question rolled off of my tongue. He leaned back, coaxing me to wrap my arms around his lithe shoulders. 

“Floating.” he sounded flat out drunk. He had slipped into that little sub mind. This was very different from that reclusive mindset he hid himself in so many times before. It wasn’t as deep as an intense scene, but it was enough to lull those dark thoughts out of his consciousness. I hummed happily, peppering kisses into his scalp. 

“I’m going to move you.” I decided, dropping the barely touched book to the grass, “It’s getting chilly out here.” He hummed passively, almost moaning at the feeling of my arms embracing his pliant body. 

I moved him to my bedroom. He wasn’t paying any attention to what was happening around him. All he knew was that he was safe and in my hold. I kicked the door closes carefully, gliding with him to the bed. 

He sounded surprised at the feel of the comforter beneath him. His head was cradled by the many pillows that resided on my over-sized bed. His arms grasped around my neck before I could pull away. I kissed into the hollow of his throat, cupping his head in my palms. 

“I’m not leaving.” my voice purred. “It’s okay to relax. I’m right here.” 

It wasn’t long after when he slipped into a deep sleep. He didn’t even stir from dreams, his limbs curled into themselves as he shifted subtly while under the veil of bliss. 

I took it as an opportunity to slip into the kitchen and make a couple cups of hot chocolate. The chances were that they would be cold by the time he woke up- but I would have them. Dakota would understand the intent behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that were waiting- I hope it's worth the wait!
> 
> comments are always appreciated and you will be forever loved for it!


	18. pgs: ???-??? (smut warning?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway: yeah. porn is the only way I can describe this. I knew this day would come. but. yea, hopefully it's not just an awkward lasagna. 
> 
> two consenting dudes that really know each other.
> 
> Ren's father would kill me if he saw this. (Don't tell Keven)

“Always so formal.” Ren’s voice smiled from within the room. Dakota was tucked behind me as I led him to the play room in Zeus’ Quarters. Ren himself was formally dressed as well- even though I knew he didn’t work today, he looked the part. I hummed my response as my eyes began to adjust to the darker setting Ren had the lights at.

“Hi, Ren.” Dakota squeaked nervously, waving because he didn’t know what else to do with his hands.

“Hello, little Dakota.” The fighter stood, holding out his arms for a hug. The blond complied without much fuss. I circle the room, looking over the chair that was fastened firmly to the floor. It wasn’t anything straight out of a horror movie- in fact, it was fairly comfortable. We just didn’t need Ren tipping himself over out of frustration. Hemp ropes laid out of the countertop- each one color coded for their length. Shears were in the center of the set up to serve as a quick way to get out of the binds. I pulled out my pocket knife, opened it, and added it reverently to the layout. 

I turned to see Ren sitting on the ledge of the king sized bed. Dakota was beside him, looking shy and partly out of place. Ren had his hand on Dakota’s bouncing knee, but his grey eyes held mischief. I’ve seen that look before, he was planning on being a brat. 

“Everything to your liking?” he chirped teasingly. I let my sight wander the room once more. The kitchenette on the far side was undoubtedly stocked, but I paced over just to make a show of it. 

My voice tsked a few times, running a finger over a shelf. Ren looked crossed when I held it up to his sight.

“How do you expect me to work in such a filthy environment.” It wasn’t filthy. It was pretty much immaculate. I smiled when Ren snapped his mouth shut. He wanted to retort, but he was saving the chance for a more fitting time. 

“I thought we agreed on more skin as well.” he purred after a few more moments. By then I had looked through the entirety of the kitchen set up. He had stashed god near everything. 

“And yet you are fully dressed.” I pointed out. Now is the time we normally get ready for a scene. For Dakota and I, we sit and explicitly speak over what we are going to do. I double ask for consent. Try to read what parts he’s more cautious of compared to others. Ren was more of a brat. It took a while to ease him into a scene. Normally I have to start “being an ass” long before we formally start. Ren doesn’t have a switch between play and reality. Sometimes it takes a while to pull him back up as well. Dakota seems to want to sleep. Ren tends to get super antsy. 

I moved to the bed, standing with my legs between Ren’s knees. The fighter looked up at me with a quirked grin of defiance but his eyes held excitement. I let my touch thread through his black hair. The undercut only left a few strands long enough to grab a hold of. They were enough to fist and force him to arch his back to relieve the tug against his scalp.

“It’s been a while, are you sure you’re ready for me?” I purred, passively noting that Dakota slipped off the edge of the bed. He was fleeing to a couch along the far wall. Ren sucked a breath, his eye narrowing on my face.

“I know how to stop you dead in your tracks.” He taunted. I tilted my head while a free hand plucked the top button free on his shirt.

“And that would be?” I smirked darkly. I knew what he was edging around- he wanted to beat me to the question apparently. 

“Pause.” he purred. I had to smother the part of me that wanted to chuckle. Of course. He would “pause me”. Three more of his shirt’s buttons were undone- his light skin appearing a hueless white in the low tones of the room. 

“Perhaps I should gag you, so you can’t.” The question was hidden as a threat. Ren understood. Dakota didn’t. The peanut gallery made an indignant noise. He was ready to stand and protect Ren. 

Ren… there was no doubt that Ren was a veteran. Possibly even a POW. He could easily kill me if he actually felt threatened. Dakota was silent about himself- yet when it came to others, he seems to be able to speak more freely.

“I’ll kick the chair’s leg out.” Ren spoke before Dakota could fashion a sentence. Kicking out the chair leg was a bit much. I held up three fingers.

“Three taps, I release you completely.” with a smirk, I folded my fist so that I was flipping Ren off.

“One tap- I slow down, give you a moment to catch your breath.” I couldn’t tie up at least one of Ren’s legs. That would be easy enough to deal with. Maybe just a loose bind- one that just keeps him from closing his knees on me. 

Dakota sat back down on the couch. I let my gaze study his nervously stiff posture. What Ren needed from me and what Dakota needed from me were two different beasts. Tonight, everything was about Ren.

“Dakota.” I turned my back on the blond, looking at Ren as an apology for breaking the moment. He nodded understandingly.

“Our little pet here, it takes a lot to break him. I would be honored if you may join us later on in the scene?” I was questioning Ren just as much as I was offering it to Dakota.

“I would be honored.” Ren purred, “Anything my Sir wants to see.” he was okay with the prospect, as long as I had full supervision of what was happening. I would never have left Ren in the hands of someone so inexperienced. Of course, I was going to be right there next to him.

Dakota took a touch longer to respond. Even then it was a sheepish “Okay.” I looked over Ren’s messed shirt, his wide eyes, his bratty quirked smile: he was ready.

“Strip for us.” I announced to the air, backing away from Ren to allow him to stand. He slowly began to pluck away at the last few button that held his formal shirt around him- making a show of such an otherwise simple thing.

“Dakota.” My voice dropped an octave, almost in a whisper so that only he could hear me. Those glowing golden eyes snapped to me. “There are no ‘masters’ in this room. Do you understand?” I had him pinned under my gaze until he responded. “Master” was a hard limit for Ren. Something about that word sent him spiralling back into the evil pits of his past. 

“What do I call you?” Dakota whispered back, seeming almost terrified.

“Sir.” I clarified. “Don’t even mumble the other title.” Dakota swallowed and nodded. When I turned my attention back on my sub, he was standing obediently. Completely naked. The scars on his torso and arms continued down his legs. One even cut into his pubic region, the milk stripe splitting the short curly hairs with a bald band. 

“You’re behaving well today, pet.” I observed. Normally it took a touch more coaxing to have Ren strip down past his underwear. “Are we being a good model for my guest?” My guest, not our guest. I was going to try to weave Dakota into a dominate in this situation. Give him a little taste of the power. Maybe then he’ll understand that I would literally do anything to make sure he felt safe. The rush it is to have someone go pliant under your touch. This time- it would be very sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. 

Ren nearly growled when I circled him once, just looking over his displayed form. I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eye- he was pretending to stare ahead at some unmarked point in the wall.

“I know what you’re thinking.” I shrugged, letting my voice carry. “ ‘Sir, it doesn’t seem fair.’ And I agree. You’re naked in all your glory- yet here I am. As modest as a saint.” Ren raised a brow at the sentence. No, I didn’t look like a saint. I pretended I didn’t notice the jab. 

“I’ll take an article off for every time you please me.” I teased. “Since you seem so… eager to see me.” Ren growled something under his breath. My hand locked around the front of his throat. I asked what he had said. He struggled for a split moment before I felt his muscles lax under my fingers. I wasn’t choking him, it was just my touch. It seems he isn’t ready to move forward quite yet. 

“If it pleases you, Sir.” he sneered. I patted his cheek with the flat of my fingers. He flinched slightly before aquanting himself with the prospect. I considered letting him faux fight me. After a round or two of getting use to the abrupt movements, he settles down much better. 

“You think you can still over power me, pet?” I let my voice harden, walking away from him with my back turned. That was our set up before. If he felt he needed the release, this was his chance. Two arms latched to my back not two seconds after the words left my lips. Dakota shouted in surprize. I spun quickly, bracing my legs to take both or our weights. The blond was on his feet yet again his expression pale as a ghost. I sent a wink his way before I braced Ren’s arms to hold him so he wouldn’t slip. It felt like he was hugging me more than trying to murder. For which I was grateful, all things considered.

I pried Ren’s arms from around me easily- his frame landing gracefully to his feet. He managed to spring back and out of my reach. We teased each other as we circled the room. Ren’s skill for fighting showing between his false weaknesses. After a few fruitless clashes. I sprinted gracelessly forward, catching Ren in my arms and pinning him to the wall. He made a show of struggling as my palms found his throat. He sucked a breath as if bracing himself, none of my strength assaulted him however. His grey eyes had dulled slightly, I forced his gaze to hold to mine- silently reassuring him he was safe here. I was going to watch over him. His hands left their practiced places at the base of my own throat. Again, I was grateful for the reserve he contained- even during a moment of laps. He could have easily snapped my neck. Instead, he gripped my wrists like some novice trying to overpower an assailant. 

He swallowed under my touch, his throat lengthening from his surrender. His pulse fluttered under my fingers. We stayed still until I felt it ease up just enough to convince me he was with me. Not sucked into somewhere in the past. There’s been a few times I’ve cut our sessions short because I could see he wasn’t here. 

That could be very dangerous for the both of us. I studied him as my fist recoiled and flew at his cheek, stopping just before contact. He didn’t flinch, instead he slid down the wall without my support. From there my knee jerked up, freezing just an inch from his undefended nose. He didn’t react like the warrior he was. Instead he stayed placid, those grey eyes sliding up to my face and gazing at me as if I was the most beautiful creature in the world. 

I purred praises under my breath, pulling him up by his chin. He’s slipped to that first mind set of his- the one where he accepts and fully trusts that I was not going to hurt him. I may take him by the throat, I may apply a little pressure every so often- never longer than a few seconds. But I have not and will never strike him: at least I will never throw a strike that will ever land. If one of my hits do land, even by pure accident, the entire scene stops. We separate, and I give him a chance to cool off before anyone goes near him. I haven’t slipped up, because outside of this- none of our scenes go anywhere near impact play. 

No Masters, No hitting. 

I walked Ren to the center of the room. Commanding him to kneel next to the chair. I turned my back on his gaze just to look over Dakota. He was standing again. His nerves causing his shoulders to shake. I sent him a look that told him to sit down, my fingers worked my shirt open before I spun on a heel to face Ren. 

He had that odd look on his face as he watched the white fabric that was my shirt flutter to the ground. My tattoos and piercings on display for him. The corset hoops on my sides were laced with a white silk strand that matched my shirt. The contrast against my skin made them stand out morbidly along either side of my rib cage. Ren wouldn’t admit it outwardly, but like nearly every other sub he preened under praise. 

“You want more don’t you?” I played, tsking my tongue. “So greedy.” I moved so that my crotch was eye level with his raised chin. He purred slightly, probably calling me a tease under his breath. I carded my fingers though that silk hair once more, luring his mouth closer. He didn’t require much encouragement. His warmth moved over my bulge, gasping around the form until he found one of the metal studs that decorate me. My eyes fluttered as he honed in on my weakness. A moan slipped at the electricity he was sparking up my spine. When I harnessed enough of my wits about myself, all I could see was Ren holding a stud through my pants- between his teeth. I growled a sigh, dropping in front of him and claimed that perverted mouth. 

Did that count as pleasing me? Oh, that cheeky bastard. I released the lip I didn’t remember pulling between my teeth.

“Remove my shoes.” I commanded breathlessly. Technically- that is an article of clothing. He gave me that look of defiance, ducking his head to the ground to kiss my leather boots while his fingers moved over the laces. He was really trying today. Normally he’s a pain in the ass to get this obedient. 

Could it be he just missed me? 

I let him pull the shoes off one at a time. His fingers worked the rim of the socks I wore. His fit, muscular frame was held purposefully sinful before me as he acted awestruck by the lowest part of my body. He must have really missed me. I said nothing to stop him as he bared my feet. His kisses began to worship the skin of my toes all the way to the curve of my ankles. Those grey eyes of his were blown. His mouth hung open as if he couldn’t get enough air. 

Ren was begging me. I was more than willing to oblige. 

“On the chair.” I tipped my head towards the unassuming prop. Ren moved smoothly to sit himself on the leather padded armchair. The frame of it was hollow- more than enough space for me to tie Ren into place. I moved to the countertop, looking over the supply that Ren had chosen. Personally- I like silk, Ren always liked the bite of hemp a touch more. 

“More grounding.” He explained it once. 

“Harder to cut.” I countered. He only shrugged at that- saying that I would be able to handle him if that ever came to pass. 

The rope felt rough to my pampered hands. I was almost weary of running it over his flesh- it may cut into him. I stalked with two of the shorter strands. These would be for bracing his forearms to the arms of the chair. My touch was neurotically running over the scratchy fibers. Nothing caught my skin- just the rough, slightly burning sensation of friction only hemp could conjure. I was looming between Ren’s knees yet again. His hands held the metal arms of the chair in anticipation. He shuddered a moan when his gaze lingered on the rope I was testing between my hands. 

“Ready?” I purred. He melted as he dragged his gaze up to my face.

“If it pleases you, Sir.” 

The rope was firm against his skin. His forearms were flush against the chill of metal. He wiggled testingly against the binds as I stood to retrieve another couple ropes. He instinctively spread his knees, his ankles hooking around the slender legs of the chair. I hummed at the sight, drinking in the beauty of his utter willingness. 

“How do you plan on tapping out like this?” I reminded him gently as I moved his legs to a more flexible pose. He didn’t verbally answer- but it was clear on his face. He wasn’t planning on tapping out. Still. I’ll give him the choice to, should he need it. I laced the rope formally around his knees, linking it to the respective leg of the chair. Once the lattice was finished- he tested the limits on those as well. Something must have sat well with them, from the happy little hum. Perhaps it’s because I gave him enough slack to hook his ankles around the legs like he wanted. The pose was down right sin, I was not about to reprimand him. 

Ren arched his back against the bonds. His lips hung parted in a whining need for touch. I reclaimed that mouth harshly, earning another pleading moan. I haven’t even started yet. I fished the ballgag out of my pocket, before we got too far. I held it out for him to look over, his eyes fidgeted on the little rubber red gag- the leather strap lined with fur. 

“This is what I spoke to you about.” I purred evenly.

“If it pleases you, Sir.” he panted. I couldn’t even get the question out. 

“Only if Dakota thinks you’re getting too loud.” I spoke a touch louder for the said blond to hear. “Or, if I feel especially… offended.” my tongue clicked. Ren never offended. He bantered- we bantered back and forth all the time. I could see the want for it in his eyes- if Dakota doesn’t speak up, I wanted an excuse to give it to him. Ren swallowed thickly as he watched me slip the temptation back into my pocket. 

“You’ll be good and loud for Sir Dakota, won’t you?” I teased, again, hoping that Dakota would catch the hint eventually. Ren nodded, his eyes glazed over in whatever fantasy his mind has swept him into. I had my back to the blond- unless he spoke- I had no way of knowing what was going on with him. Ren is my sub tonight. He’s the center of my attentions. 

I hushed Ren’s keening as my touch finally drifted over his bare flesh. I always started with his head, my fingertips studying every little curve of his chiseled face. His lips were thin but warm. His tongue darted out to greet my thumb. I hardly could turn down the invitation to the hot little cavern. First he sucked on my thumb, his skill swirling slowly over the flesh. My digit pulled free with an obscene pop, only to be replaced by my middle digit. His eyes lidded as the entire length passed between his parted teeth. He was wrapped so far into a fantasy he was so tantalizingly close to living his member was already straining along his stomach. 

I could see the need in the lines of his face. That did not rush my touch at all. Minute by minute I was stripping away his sanity. He panted under the most innocent touches. His body arched to follow my hands whenever they lifted away. I haven’t even ran a single touch over a private pleasure as of yet. He was already a mess under me. 

All at once, I pressed my thumbs over each of his nipples. He groaned loudly, his head falling back against the high support of the chair. My touch lingered there- growing more rough as I wrung out what reactions I could. He began to mutter “please.” His arousal was unattended and bordering painful. It had been at least half an hour since I’ve bound him to the chair. His patience was running low on sanity.

I backed away from him. Earning a loud croon from his drunken tongue. I turned my back to him, letting him see that I had that gag in one hand, my other was working my, too tight, pants unzipped. 

“What do you think, Dakota?” I use this opportunity to look over the blushing blond. He was sat on the couch- a pillow firmly on his lap. I chuckled darkly.

“I hope you know- you can relieve yourself as well.” my pants slid down my thighs. Ren verbally shuddered at the sight. He had pleased me through his patience, through his obedience. I loved that I was able to reward him with such a simple gesture.

“Either way, I think he’s getting a touch verbal.” I smiled over my shoulder, praying that Dakota would agree. I looked back to make sure the blond didn’t pass out on us. He nodded, shutting his eyes against the immoral sight of the business owner. Good enough for us.

I walked out of my slax, my dark boxers barely keeping anything to the imagination. Ren moaned at the feel of my touch petting over his cheeks. I was tracing the line the leather of the gag would follow. Just a standard thing I did, just making sure he wasn’t hurt or cut along the strip. The rubber ball would be uncomfortable enough.

I shifted between my feet once it was placed. I looked him in the eye, my voice soft as I asked if it was okay. He bit against it a few times. Sucking breath around it before dropping his head and flexing his jaw. Eventually he looked up and nodded. Drool was already pooling at the corner of his mouth- he was no longer able to control that. 

“If you need to slow down.” I kept my voice even, he unhinged one of his ankles and kicked the solid chair leg once. It wasn’t nearly as loud as I would have liked it. I stood, looking over the room. Metal cuffs hung on the side of a cabinet. No chain was attached to the one I chose. It was small- similar to a police cuff- used to secure a spreader bar. I knelt by him, choosing the foot he had used. The metal was cold- I was sure, but it hung loosely around his thin ankle. I looked up at him. 

“If you need to slow down.” I repeated from my crouched position. The metal clanked loudly against metal once. That would even gain Dakota’s attention. Satisfied with it, I allowed my touch to drift over his thighs now.

“If you need to stop.” I prompted. Three clanks filled the air. Honestly- at the first sound I would have stopped. In the middle of a panic- repetitive notions translate to me how serious a situation is. I hummed my approval. He looked like he wanted to cry at the painful need between his legs. So I offered aid by taking his arousal to the hilt, deep into my throat. 

Ren’s voice screamed around the gag. His limbs pulled against the binds with a force that would have tipped any normal chair. I found myself chuckling inwardly as I gazed up at his blissed out face. He groaned out lowly as I ran my affections over his scalding flesh. His fingers twitched to reach for me, the muscles of his legs bulged under the strain he was pulling against the metal supports. 

I pulled up, removing my touch completely when his chest began to heave it’s warning. I hushed him, quickly switching to a tsk. 

“Not until I give you permission, little pet.” Ren growled at my words. He bit against the rubber as he shuddered hard. He wanted to cum. He was more than ready to. He’s stuck on the edge and teetering frustratingly. I ran my fingers over his goosebumps as his screaming nerves settle just enough for me to lure him right back up. 

Ren was a stuttering mess. His arousal had most of his flesh blushed, a sheen of sweat coated his frame. I released the firm hold I had wrapped around him- earning another howl of begging. 

“Sir Dakota,” my fingers lifted Ren’s chin so I could see that glaze on his eyes. He had given himself completely over to me. “Would you like a touch?” Ren nodded into my palm, humming his plead around the dripping gag. Anything to bring him relief- I shouldn’t have him on ledge for much longer. I don’t want him hating me by the end of this. 

I glanced at Dakota through the corner of my eye. He was flushed nearly as badly as the bound fighter. He edged the space slowly. Those golden orbs raking over Ren’s wreathing form. 

“You’re going to make our pet wait?” I urged, Ren whined through the gag without thinking. His sight was practically blind as his head lulled. Dakota crawled closer, his thin hand moving to fix the dark strands out of Ren’s face from where his sweat has plastred the locks to his forehead. 

“Is he… okay?” Dakota was shaking. I patted his shoulder and reassured him quietly. I leaned down to Ren my sight finding his bleary eyes.

“Do you think it’s right for the pet to cum before the Sir?” the purr sounded dark, Ren looked utterly helpless in the situation. My touch circled his member, wringing out another cry. “You always liked to watch, though, didn’t you?” 

I lowered the band of my boxers. Ren’s attention was solely on me as my own arousal finally sprung free of the fabric. My touch counted off the three bars that lined the lower of my member. The Jacob's ladder is what Ren had latched to earlier, the ghost of his mouth still sent chills under my skin.

Ren groaned as if my touch was lingering on him. He arched his back, his throat constricting around the rubber. He was the living embodiment of sex, I couldn’t stop my free hand from tangling in his hair to keep his sight up on me. My knees nearly buckled from under me as that white hot pleasure snapped in my gut. 

“Is the pet ready to be a good pet?” I ground out, seeing he was barely lucid. He nodded earnestly- his chest sucking air.

“Will you cum when I tell you to?” my hands were on him, I was circling him to hold his head up against the chair. He splayed himself as best he could- displaying everything he had. 

“Would you be able to hold back if I told you to?” Ren shook under the ministrations. He couldn’t hold back any longer. I wouldn’t do that to him.

“Cum for us.” I hissed softly, feeling his muscles jerk under my hold. His arms and legs bulged against the hemp rope. “Cum for me, cum like a good, good pet.” 

Hot ropes of his seed coated my hand obediently. I held him braced against the chair so his shaking didn’t hurt him. His voice was raw, albeit muffled. I continued my abuse of his member moments after- riding out every ounce of his pent up pleasure. 

The fighter fell limp in the chair, his head only supported by my strength. I purred praises under my breath. My thumbs pressed lovingly into his tensed joints: his knuckles, his wrists, his shoulders. His lungs were burning, the gag suddenly too big between his teeth. I wrapped his head in my hold, the simple snap strap gave away easily. He choked momentarily- seeking a few ragged breaths before his lulling head managed to gaze up at me. 

I started with his legs, the rope hissed softly against itself as the lattice I had weaved came undone. I took my time massaging the marked joints. Indents of the hemp wrapped his knees from where he was pulling against it. 

His arms were limp in his lap. I had already studied the flesh that held matching ringletts as his knees. Give him half an hour or so- and the markings would be completely gone. He was leaned forward, the crown of his head pressed against my chest. Still- I purred praises under my breath to coax him away from any second thoughts that tried to manifest themselves. 

“Ready to be moved?” I looked over his slacking shoulders, they couldn’t even be bothered to twitch in acknowledgement. I had to support him as I lead him to his unsure feet. He was still wrapped up in that helpless mindset. The subspace where he just does as he was told. As placid and peaceful as he looked, I knew he doesn’t like staying like this for too long. He couldn’t be bothered to sit up when I directed him onto the bed. His legs hung over the edge, his arms splayed however they fell. His chest had stopped heaving, his heart rate was starting to even out. 

Only when he was safely laying down did I check on Dakota. Again. He looked terrified. I motioned for him to follow me as I paced the empty space to the kitchenette. 

“What have you done to him?” He sounded almost pissed. I raised a brow as I fetched couple water bottles from the fridge. 

“We knew what we were doing.” I explained lowly, “He wanted me to do this with him.”

“But he’s so… he couldn’t have gotten away if he wanted to.” Dakota growled, his glowing eyes challenging me. A part of me smiled at his defensiveness. 

“Trust. He had his safe word, he had his signal for me. If he used either one- I would have responded.” I swallowed half of a bottle in one gulp, cracking my neck before opening another cabinet and pulling out the package of oreos: Ren’s favorite.

“You think he would have the courage to say something?” Dakota challenged, not letting me step any closer to Ren. I huffed, my sight narrowing on his defiance.

“If Ren didn’t trust me. He wouldn’t have agreed to do this.” I lifted the bottle of water to the blond’s sight- “I need to get back to his side. If you need something, feel free to grab it.” With that I pressed past his body. I knew Dakota had been forced. I just didn’t expect him to think that everyone around him was forced as well. This was far from the first time I’ve edged Ren- if he didn’t like it, we wouldn’t keep going back to it. 

“Hey, here, I’ve got you a drink.” I sat on the bed next to the exhausted fighter. He groaned lightly at the prospect of movement. After a moment of motivating himself, his body jerked up to a sitting position and held out his trembling hand expectantly. The water was drained, he leaned forward on his knees with his head down. I could see his muscles experimentally tensing and releasing as he silently took inventory of his body. 

The empty, crumpled plastic ticked hollowly to the floor between Ren’s feet as I watched the jolt of energy spur his body into movement. He naturally slid into a fighting stance, his fists flashing almost as a blur. He followed through a routine, some of his kicks clear over his own head. He cracked his shoulder when it was through, bouncing between the balls of his feet before abruptly dropping to the floor in a wide sweep kick. His shoulder tucked formally as he rolled back- away from the unseen attacker and bounced right back up on his feet in one fluid motion. 

He looked pleased with the run through. Ren’s weight shifted firmly onto one foot as he hiked his other leg up behind him. He caught his own ankle in his hands behind his head, and stretch. 

“Totally forgot you could do that.” I teased the still very nude man. He shot me a knowing look as he switched legs, his left leg was just a hair more flexible than his right.   
“You wouldn’t mind if I tacked on a few more minutes would you, just an hour or two.” my offer earned an eye roll. 

“Didn’t I already take care of you?” he snorted, righting himself. I held up the package of oreos as if it was a bribe. Before I could register what was going on, Ren has sprung into my space. His coiled muscles rippling like a viper as the cookies were stolen from my flimsy grasp. He was clear on the other side of the room before he braved a look back at me- three of the cookies already stuffed into his mouth.

Ren was fine. I told myself, fighting against Dakota’s echoing concerns. If nothing else- he just needed to go for a couple mile sprint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i gotten to the point in the story where every chapter is going to be spicy?   
> unintentional- but I don't know if anyone's complaining...? 
> 
> feel free to comment, we don't judge here.


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